thaddius' Console Roast 2014 Edition - Round 6

[Veho]

-barely a handful of games

But they were some big names and major movie tie-ins. On paper, the library looked pretty good.

Spoiler: List of available cartridges

Apollo 13,
Area 51,
Batman & Robin,
Batman Forever,
Battle Arena Toshinden,
Daytona Racing,
Indy 500,
Independance Day,
Judge Dredd,
Men in Black,
Mortal Kombat 3,
Mortal Kombat Trilogy,
Nights,
Panzer Dragoon,
Primal Rage,
Road Rash,
Road Rash 3,
Star Trek,
Star Wars Jedi Adventure,
Star Wars Millennium Falcon Challenge,
Star Wars Imperial Assault,
Star Wars Rebel Forces,
The Lost World,
Virtua Cop,
Virtua Fighter,
Virtua Fighter 2,
VR Troopers,
Waterworld

Too bad they all sucked

And most especially: if anyone ever starts crying that game developers nowadays cheat on the difference between PR material and the real game ("waaaah! It's 1080p in the commercial but only 792p in a later one!!!"), I'll shove them the r-zone commercial in their face.

It's not entirely misleading, the shot of the kid screaming in terror is pretty much spot on

 

[JulietStMoon]

I saw Game.com in the poll, and now I'm reading everyone's posts in CGR Mark's voice.

 

[Sakitoshi]

I'd nearly said Rzone but then I remember.
Wonderswan.

Double Dpad?
How are you supposed to play that?
With 3 hands?

It's the the N64's controller in a handheld.

the modern gamepad design have D-pad and analog stick in one side and buttons and analog stick on the other side mmm...... OMG WE NEED FOUR THUMBS TO USE THE D-PAD/BUTTONS AND ANALOG STICKS AT THE SAME TIME.
or we can use one or other depending the situation, is only a matter of convenience.

 

[DinohScene]

the modern gamepad design have D-pad and analog stick in one side and buttons and analog stick on the other side mmm...... OMG WE NEED FOUR THUMBS TO USE THE D-PAD/BUTTONS AND ANALOG STICKS AT THE SAME TIME.
or we can use one or other depending the situation, is only a matter of convenience.

Analogue sticks are still superior to dual dpads

 

[Foxi4]

Analogue sticks are still superior to dual dpads

Except the dual d-pad was never used as a dual d-pad - one was a d-pad, the other was used as function buttons. In any case, it's A) A good, popular system and B) It has a library of nice games. Other than the obscurity of its "dual design" which allows it to be used in both landscape and portrait orientation (which is arguably a quality, not a flaw), I don't see a reason to vote against it. In fact, I actually want one of those - they're really nifty.

 

[Sakitoshi]

Analogue sticks are still superior to dual dpads

not if you play sidescrollers. I never play 2D platformers without a decent dpad.
but now that you mention that, I cannot imagine a good use to dual dpads as for dual sticks. I only remember one game that use that, Super Stardust on PSP. but Super Stardust HD on PS3 and Stardust Delta on Vita do a better job with dual analogs.

but aside from the dual dpad the WonderSwan was a solid handheld.
my vote is for the Tiger R-Zone. the other 2 worst have a good side at least.
the Virtualboy had good games and you can read your mail on the Tiger game.com while the R-Zone is just a bunch of annoying noises and....eerrh.... can I actually call any of the things that appear on screen a sprite?? I don't think so.

 

[Foxi4]

I think that most people doesn't know that R-Zone was just an stupid LCD game...

It was just a stupid game console based on exchangable LCD screens, which makes all the difference here. It wasn't just one game, you could buy games for it... plus it was officially advertised, so... can't say that it wasn't mainstream.

 

[coolmario]

i voted for r-zone, it sucked.

 

[HtheB]

It was just a stupid game console based on exchangable LCD screens, which makes all the difference here. It wasn't just one game, you could buy games for it... plus it was officially advertised, so... can't say that it wasn't mainstream.

Yeah that was what I mean..
But hey, there are "Pop-Stations" too!!...
Yes, most of them has interchangeable screens for different games
You guys should check out Ashen's Popstation Watch if you wanna have some good fun

 

[Foxi4]

Yeah that was what I mean..
But hey, there are "Pop-Stations" too!!...
Yes, most of them has interchangeable screens for different games
You guys should check out Ashen's Popstation Watch if you wanna have some good fun

I love POPStation Watch, it's hilarious.

Pretty sure that in the case of those, the game logic is actually on the system though - the game screens just change it using jumpers, so it doesn't really support games different than the ones that come with it (not to mention that POPStations are not cross-compatible due to form factor reasons, which isn't a big deal since they're all the same anyways ;O; ). The R-Zone genuienly does have... "different games".

Speaking of the R-Zone, it had a portable revision!

Spoiler

Don't you just love the 90ties? Put "Xtreme" on something and it looks better already!

 

[HtheB]

I love POPStation Watch, it's hilarious.

I hope to see WLL in one of the upcoming polls

 

[VashTS]

my brother had the r-zone, it stunk. the other ones were cool a little bit. i loved my virtual boy but it did hurt to play it.

teleroboxer is the best boxing game and i wish they would translate that to newer consoles!

 

[joepassive]

in my opinion R-Zone sucks. it's easy:
all of those consoles had games that looked real.
for example,
Sega Nomad played good mega-drive games,
SNK Neo-Geo pocked is wonderful little piece of gaming,
WonderSwan is japanese heaven for portable games.
And GBC is a timeless classic.

and look at virtual boy, sure it sucked ass but it had real games: look at mario tennis and wario land. they were real games u could play, not for very long tho or headaches and eye-problem would start, hance the sucking ness level.

and the Game.com even had real games like Duke Nukem and Mortal kombat. they all looked REAL. real shitty because of the screen, BUT REAL.

but the R-ZONE?
it's red-and-black edition of crappy early lcd games, when the background is all pictures and just light up when u push buttons.
thats not real video games in my opinion.

When I say REAL i mean, movement of characters and the actual ability to do shit, not just see moving pictures.

wtf is shit? r-zone.

 

[Aeter]

What about the Atari Lynx?
Or was that a different gen?
I do think it should be in this list though.
EDIT:Never mind, it was fourth gen.
EDIT2:Saw it was handled in round 4,my bad.

 

[The Real Jdbye]

Um guys. The Virtual Boy isn't a handheld.
It's portable yes, but it's no more handheld than a laptop.

 

[thaddius]

I'm so glad you took the time read my explanation for that.

 

[Ulieq]

I really hope someone picks up Wonderswan emulator for the nintendo DS.

 

[Veho]

Um guys. The Virtual Boy isn't a handheld.

It's a head-held

 

[Psionic Roshambo]

This is one of those poles where really all of the systems sucked in one way or another.... No balance in any of them.

You had to pick weird ass stuff or total crap, or you had to pick good battery life and crap graphics or shitty battery eating machine and decent graphics.

Really looking back its kind of no wonder Nintendo owned the portable market for so long. Given the choices... lol

I mean in a portable system, if the battery life is shitty. Who wants to carry around a bunch of batteries or a useless piece of tech once there is no juice?

*I have become sooo spoiled by my JXD thing, 6 hours of battery life a fantastic screen AND decent graphics in one device? LOL Looking back at this poll you would think it impossible.

 

[EMP Knightmare]

R-Zone took my vote by far. I'd have to agree that each other entry had indeed an upside to it. Personally speaking I remember my Nomad being with me since launch and still to this day, that badboy got me through some trips. Not to mention every cable from the Genesis 2 worked on the Nomad.

I have so many found memories with each of those handhelds, only good thing that came from the R-Zone was that it was the perfect size for throwing at my older brother