Okay...so when rockstar games removes a 'hot chocolate' minigame from the main game but makes it unlockable to those knowing what they're doing, all hell breaks loose. But when sucker punch puts a pack of condoms in addition to the box, it's okay?
Honestly: I don't get it. Why condoms? Not only is it in no way related to the game but it also distracts from the gaming in the most literal sense possible. In fact: it puts you in a direct dilemma...try out the game or the glowing condoms? Wait...did I say dilemma? Either you don't have the choice by lack of either a PS4 or a willing girlfriend, or you do have the choice and you'll go with the other. Or indeed: you go to those nice ladies. But apart from a few very rare instances*, it just doesn't mix.
So...why? Should there be some kind of reference in the game or something? Fuck...as I just found out,
the game doesn't even have co-op. So aside from easily being able to jerk off in admiration of the awesome graphics of today's gaming**, I don't see the purpose. And I don't think THAT was the intention of including a condom. Let alone a whole box.
*okay, okay: I've got to admit it: I have the mental image of an Italian whore sitting in a window next to a PS4. You just KNOW she'll get this kind of clients
**I already feel sorry for whichever actress(es) had to voice the caricatural hot babe(s) in this game.
... and a pack of fluorescent condoms in case the tension turns out to be too much for them to handle and some form of venting with their significant others will be required.
Wait...what? Significant others? Erm...yeah. Look. I'm all about safe sex, so perhaps I shouldn't say this (especially with an audience who snorts at anything sex-related), but I'm going to do it anyway...
Fucking with a condom isn't fun. It doesn't matter if it has a nice taste, glows in the dark or makes the sounds of a Philharmonic Orchestra. At best, those things don't ruin the experience. But to me, they feel like masturbating in a plastic bag. Now...Since diseases and birth control are real threats, condoms certainly have a right of existence, and should be used appropriately during the dating phase. They're what I would call "a necessary evil".
But when I'm having a monogamous relationship with someone who is healthy and is certain she's not in that "I may get pregnant"-period, condoms are the first thing to go. And it's only some steps AFTER that, that I'll start referring to this woman as being my "significant other".
So...no. Call it like it is. Those glowing condoms could be convenient when picking up chicks, visiting a brothel or hanging out at a comic convention. But unless you're the kind of guy who refers to his one night stand as being your "significant other", I really don't see how that works.
