How do I get an Eyepatch?

[Ducky]

Well you see.. We have a yearbook photo shooting in our school soon.
And I really wanted to think of a funny way to take this photo and to have it that way for the rest of my life.

I enjoy a good sense of humor, so I thought about it and I really want to have an eyepatch when I take that picture.
That way i'll be known forever as the "Pirate guy!" and i'd have a really funny story about it.
However, I NEVER LIE.

How do I get a legal health-eyepatch for curing reasons? I'm NOT GOING TO LIE just for that. I don't like lying. I prefer hurting my eye somehow so that I will have to go with an eyepatch for 24 hours and take that picture.

The question is for What reasons people need to wear an eyepatch, and how do I get one by doing Minimal-damage to myself?


P.S.
This is a serious question. I'm not a masochist or anything, I just really want to take that photo.



Thanks in advance!

 

[shango46]

Well, pink eye is always a quick way. Try going to the bathroom and getting feces on your hand. Then rub your eye with the feces hand and you will have pink eye in no time.

 

[ByteMunch]

Ahaha, you crazy dude. I had a friend who wore a patch, but he lost his entire eye...

 

[DarkStriker]

Ask if i can have a eyepatch? Or buy one? PIRATES!

 

[xist]

The simplest way to do this is to pretend your optical prescription has changed and you're getting double vision and splitting headaches with both eyes open. If one of your eyes has a different correction required than the other it can cause all sorts of problems for you...of course this would require lying.

As far as damage to your eye that would require patching, aside from evisceration, or a chronic corneal defect there's not a lot of call for patches. Develop a squint? Although for that you'd be pretty much faking the condition i describe above.

 

[Hells Malice]

No offense...but you're a moron.
Anyway

1: Buy one. They're not hard to find really.
2: I like Shango's idea. Rub some shit in your eye. Sounds about as intelligent as this general idea.

 

[prowler]

That's funny, you don't want to lie so you're going to hurt yourself which could lead to permanent damage in your eye.

Just say you're wearing it for photo day, no big.

 

[Ducky]

That's funny, you don't want to lie so you're going to hurt yourself which could lead to permanent damage in your eye.

Just say you're wearing it for photo day, no big.

Okay you got me convinced. It does sound really stupid putting it that way

No offense...but you're a moron.
Anyway

1: Buy one. They're not hard to find really.
2: I like Shango's idea. Rub some shit in your eye. Sounds about as intelligent as this general idea.

You made me laugh



Oh and thanks for all the answers, i'd go with either saying the truth and hoping that my teacher will allow that or just say that I got hurt and I need that for curing reasons. Thats lying but they won't bother on calling the photoshoot guy twice so they'll probably allow that.

 

[Blood Fetish]

That way i'll be known forever as the "Pirate guy!" and i'd have a really funny story about it.

Doubtful. No one really cares about high school except for high schoolers. Once people graduate they move on in a hurry.

 

[Xuphor]

Fork + eyeball, stabbing motion. A very very fast and easy way to do it, but you need high pain tolerance.

For real though, you can buy an eyepatch in any pharmacy (or pharmacy stores like CVS), for like $5 or less.
Dead serious, can't you just buy one without telling your parents, hide it, then put it on after your parents leave you at school and before any teachers see you? Just tell them it's due to [insert any eye condition], it's not like they are going to tell you to pull it up to check. And if they do, just say you need to keep it down for sterality concerns.

 

[yuyuyup]

Drink Glug
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