Virginity..

[nin10do]

yeah only now have i come to understand why women are so much more confident. they get hit on all the time. guys are expected to be the ones to make the first move. and as such we'll be the ones to get an answer, whether yes or no. if you get a lot of no's it doesn't mean your bad at dating. it's just how the system works.
a couple of years ago if i got rejected by a girl i'd be crushed. have a much better understanding of things now.

every year i think i have life figured out

only new things keep happening that change my perspective.

 

[isugoat]

I don't think anything good of a one night stand, I know people that started relationships with them but they didn't last.
one night stands and relationships usually don't go hand-in-hand. one night stands are for gettin laid, not for finding a wife.

QUOTEWaiting is a good thing, if I met someone tomorrow I would probably wait for sex until we knew each other better.

what about waiting is good? the odds are overwhelming that anyone you date won't have waited...

 

[Deleted member 76381]

Oooh, mental scarring topic. *posts*

How many of you have lost virginity (had their first sex)?
Well...not I. 23 and I'm still unsexed. But, I've actually had the opportunity and refused. I mean...I'm in no rush. XD That and I wasn't really fond of her to begin with so yeah. I'd rather wait until it's with someone I love instead of it being a lustful action.

How much virginity actually IS IMPORTANT to you? Do you want to wait for marriage, do you enjoy one night stands, do you want to do it out of a love with your partner?!
It doesn't really matter much to me. To be honest, I think a guy like me is screwed either way with a girl. If she's a virgin, there's a high chance that it will be a bad experience for the both of us, especially her. If she's not, then there's a high chance that I will simply be bad at it in her eyes--and in both cases, turn her off of the idea completely. =P

Looks or personality?
I used to be a looks kind of person, like we all were at one time, I'm sure. But, looks are never eternal, and personality goes a long way. So yeah. Enjoy your supermodel girlfriends and the like for now. If you guys survive to old age, I hope you enjoy her wrinkles quite well. :3

I actually have heard of someone who nearly had sex with a girl at age five (they were the same age of course). FIVE. What the hell? Though...anymore, it seems like we're having sex at younger and younger ages. Pregnancies too. I wonder if Maury Paternity Test Super Hour still has on those girls who want to have babies ASAP so they can dress them in Gucci and whatever high-class shit they obviously can't afford.

 

[zidane_genome]

I'm 27, am married, and lost my virginity at age 19. No, I didn't wait for marriage, I was your typical horny teenage guy... luckily the first girlfriend after graduated high school (she didn't go to my school) was a HUGE nympho... she wanted it like 6 times a day. And no, I'm not kidding about that!

We broke up after she cheated on me... kinda saw that coming, but you know what they say... hindsight is 20/20

Seriously though, wait till your at least 17 if you want to have sex... and for god's sake, wear a fucking rubber! I don't care if it's against your religion... if wearing a rubber is against your religion, having sex before your married is too!

 

[Cablephish]

I understand that majority of the people don't wait. I look at the people in my high school, and yes I'll assume. I'll look at every person and say if they've lost their virginity. You can tell by the people and the way they act, who they hang around, and I for one do not want to be a part of it.

Loss of virginity really isn't that big a deal to me. It's just another one of those things that I don't have an absolute critique on. If you want to, do it. If not, don't. I've got all the patience in the world, and I'm not gonna get pressured into doing anything. Other people I know always talk about this sort of thing, and I don't see what's to it.

 

[Neko]

I don't think it's important but I still got mine.
Don't see why people make such a big deal about it, it's a normal thing.

Also I don't think I'm going to lose mine soon, although it could change if my GF really really wants to do it.

 

[Densetsu]

How many of you have lost virginity (had their first sex)?
*raises hand*

At what age did you do it?
I was 19 when I lost mine.

Was that experience good/bad (good sex, bad sex?)
Overall it was really good. It was her first time as well. It felt surreal, like I couldn't believe it was actually happening.

How do you feel about it, are you sorry for not waiting, for someone other/better/more special?
I don't regret it at all. It turns out that she's my fiancee now. She's my first and only girlfriend, the only love I've ever known.

Do your parents (if you're young) know about it, and do they approve it?
They've known for years. Her father also knew that we were already having sex when we started dating. After dating her for about four months, she invited me on a beach trip with her family. They rented a house on the shore overlooking the ocean. One day he called me over to talk to him in private, and I had no idea what he wanted to talk to me about. So he and I took a walk on the beach. We had a casual conversation, then he suddenly switched gears and said, "you've been sleeping with my daughter, haven't you?" I nearly shit my pants. I had no idea how to answer him, and I was desperately trying to come up with a convincing lie, my lip was trembling and I was stuttering. But then he laughed and said "You can tell me the truth, I can already see it in my daughter's face. Sex changes a woman, you know. You think I don't know when my own daughter is in love?" I finally gave in and said "yes, we've uhm, had s- uh, slept, er..." And then he smiled and said "I don't mind, but I just have two rules: First, you make sure that you wear protection." I nodded my head stupidly. "The second rule is that I want her to finish college and have a career." Again I nodded my head. Then he said "OK?" and shook my hand. After that I've always had a deep respect for my girlfriend's dad. He really was the kind of guy you could talk to about anything. Unfortunately, he died of renal (kidney) failure a few years ago, but I've kept my promise to him. She's going to be a doctor, and I'm going to marry her. I just wish he could've lived to see it.

How much virginity actually IS IMPORTANT to you? Do you want to wait for marriage, do you enjoy one night stands, do you want to do it out of a love with your partner?!
It's not so much that I think keeping your virginity is important. It's commitment that's important to me. Barring religion, I think the main argument for keeping one's virginity is that people are either not ready for that kind of relationship or because they're not sure if he/she's the "right one." If it's someone you're really into and that person is really into you, just let things run naturally and see where it goes. If it feels right, go for it! But one-night stands are for chumps. Any dumb-ass can fuck. Hell, animals do it all the time. It takes a real man/woman to commit.

 

[Wabsta]

How many of you have lost virginity (had their first sex)?
Me
At what age did you do it?
I just turned 16
Was that experience good/bad (good sex, bad sex?)
good =) was the first time for both of us.. so it was kinda weird and stuff tbh

How do you feel about it, are you sorry for not waiting, for someone other/better/more special?
No, I think she is the perfect one. I'm with her for over a year and a half now

Do your parents (if you're young) know about it, and do they approve it?
Yes, my mom actually bought my my first condoms
How much virginity actually IS IMPORTANT to you? Do you want to wait for marriage, do you enjoy one night stands, do you want to do it out of a love with your partner?!
Well, I do think that you should only do it with someone you really love and trust.

 

[Cyan]

How many of you have lost virginity (had their first sex)?
I haven't and I am 25 (probably the oldest here).

Wrong

I'm older, and I'm sure it might be other people even older.



How many of you have lost virginity (had their first sex)?
I don't, and I'm almost 31.

How much virginity actually IS IMPORTANT to you? Do you want to wait for marriage, do you enjoy one night stands, do you want to do it out of a love with your partner?!

Sometime I feel sorry for waiting that long. Even if I didn't really waited something in particular except someone to do it with.
I'm not waiting for marriage.

First, in college (11 to 15 Year old in France), I wasn't in the same boat than others : they were wishing for girls and trying to touch her as often as possible. They were obsessed, and I was shy and thought they were dumb, I felt out of this world.
I wasn't interested into going out with a girl like others, because for me it looked like others only dated with every girls they known from the same class, when it ended they changed girlfriend with another one, and for me the love was needed first so it was out of question be interested into girls this way.
I needed to love to date. but without seeing girls, I couldn't fall in love with anyone :/
That's when I found my shyness, and I'm still very shy with other people (not only with girls).


Then, High school time, everyone spoke about girls, sex, date etc.
I didn't like the idea of being the one who didn't know it, so I started wishing to lose my virginity with another virgin so I wasn't the inexperience guy with the experienced girl. Then again, I never met someone, and never tried in fact.

After school, I never get out of my home but for work. I don't know anyone in my town, and I'm too shy to go out with people.

I never met everyone, and time passed until now.
Now I think I'll never find a virgin again at my age, and I forgot that idea long ago XD
That's why I think the time made the thing even more difficult to manage. The more I wait and the more I think it's hard to meet someone.
It will come when it will come. Maybe never. I don't want to do it just to do it, or because it's "too late". There is no time out nor obligation.

Sometime I'm wishing to be a couple too, like others I known at school and I see again now married and with children.
I'm thinking about how it could be for my first time, why I will accept it, how long from meeting someone to having sex, how it's working to be with someone... many questions I better not think, because it's giving me a bad mood

I'll just continue living days after days, as life is coming, and I better forget about all that.



Edit :
Forgot to tell about how sex has alway been seen as a bad thing for me.
From young days, when parents jump on you to put their hands on your face to cover your eyes to not let you watch the TV because there is two people kissing, or showing their body part ; to the actual days with everything in the culture being forbidden : "not recommended for young children", "under 18", "censored" even in games, anime, movies, advertising, etc. everywhere there is something to remember sex is bad.
All in the society is made to make you feel guilty about sex, I'm still imbued in that idea, and think it's a bad thing. I'm ashamed when I see TV with people having sex, or even nudity, and I can say EVERY American movies have that sort of scene nowadays XD

So it's even harder for me to accept being with someone.

edit 2 :
I'm atheist, so there is no religion telling me how I must act with sex (it could have been linked). that's only my way of thinking.

 

[Anakir]

How do you feel about it, are you sorry for not waiting, for someone other/better/more special?
I don't regret it at all. It turns out that she's my fiancee now. She's my first and only girlfriend, the only love I've ever known.

Good for you. It's rare to find people who stick with one person and only love one person. I find that really cute.

 

[beefymeatloaf420]

[Deleted comment]

 

[blueskies]

I was your typical horny teenage guy... luckily the first girlfriend after graduated high school (she didn't go to my school) was a HUGE nympho... she wanted it like 6 times a day. And no, I'm not kidding about that!

We broke up after she cheated on me... kinda saw that coming, but you know what they say... hindsight is 20/20

I think we might have dated the same girl.

I was 20 when I lost my virginity. I was somewhat anxious about being a virgin all through high school, but didn't really do much to fix the problem. I had a few girlfriends and we fooled around some, mostly just fingering and handjobs, but I never pushed it. I wanted to make sure that she wasn't uncomfortable, and was basically waiting for her to give me the green light (never happened in high school).

College is a whole 'nother story, had great fun, met a girl who made it clear she wanted to sleep with me, so I went for it. We had been drinking a little that night, but I was aware of everything and had a great time with her. Funny thing about that night was that I didn't orgasm at all, and we fucked for almost an hour. I think I was worried about premature ejac, and it eventually just 'went away' (oh, and I didn't ever tell anyone that.. HA!). After that we dated for a few months and had sex everyday, it was awesome. The best was waking up and doing it first thing in the morning.

After her there was one other time I got really drunk/stoned/coked with some friends and ended up sleeping with one of them.

After that, dry spell.

 

[Vincent T]

I'm 20 and a virgin. It's not important for me to keep it, it's just out of my hands as to whether I can have sex. I'm also very shy around girls, so I don't even know if I'll ever be able to develop a relationship with a girl. It's been years since I've been actively engaged in ANY sort of social activity. I don't know how I'll be able to handle college (doubt I'll ever be able to afford it anyways).

That being said, I'm a little sad that I'm unable to develop a relationship with anyone. I'd certainly like to have a girlfriend, but I just can't. I don't have a social life, but it's not due to my lack of confidence, but the fact that I'm financially burdened (got no car, and no other way to travel anywhere).

Same , but im 13.

 

[Bamboo]

Virginity ? what is it ? nothing
I lost it at 22,
I had wanted to have sex probably since I was 16 so I had tried to have sex for 8 years but i was to damn shy!!!!
For 8 years I had imagined what it would be like and thought it must be amazing.
Finally when I did it I was a bit disappointed ...like nothing amazing happened...
it didnt change me
I didnt feel more of a man
I didnt feel more fullfilled .
I didnt feel any different from virgin / non-virgin.
it just felt kind normal and...yeah it was ok.... but I thought it would solve all my problems and be the best thing in the world.
Boy am I glad I didn't wait until I was married before I tried that.

I am still with the girl I "lost" it to and I wonder if sex could be better with another girl.

I personally (and sadly?) dont have much faith or good feelings towards marriage.
My parents divorced and even before that I didnt feel they had much love between them.
Most marriages around me have either broken or are bad.
I am having big trouble trying to see marriage as a sacred thing or even a fun thing.
I look around me at married couples on weekends -the romance clearly dried out in there relationship.

anyway another thing I Would like to add:

TO THOSE WHO ARE WAITING TO MARRY BEFORE SEX

My Christian uncle waited until he was married before he lost his virginity.
When he was in his 20's he got married. I know he thought "if I hold out until I marry the girl I love I can have a life of marital bliss of hot and cold running sex when ever I want it." Boy did he get a big reality check- wife doesn't want to have sex as much as he does.

I think you need to have sex long before marriage at least with the one you love.
Otherwise you are taking a lucky dip! Sex I think is an important part of love, so you need to see how your sex life is with the one you love BEFORE you marry them. Maybe you'll find out that they only want sex once a month when you need it everyday ? then you are sentenced to a hell of constantly wanting sex. will you cheat on your wife to satisfy ? or will you be faithful ? this could be a real dilemma for those who wait.
Talking is not enough..how people behave about sex is something that you cant predict chemicals change in the brain and body and unpredictable things happen.
You need to try it before you tie the knot.

Yes our Morality and intellectuality can override our "animal instincts" and internal desires but you have to ask is this always a good thing ?
Maybe when you body is telling you to have sex....you should sometimes listen.
One day youll realise how short life is and there really isnt enough time to do the things you want to do let alone wait and expect to be able to do them later.

 

[Nathan-NL]

I don't think it's important but I still got mine.
Don't see why people make such a big deal about it, it's a normal thing.

Also I don't think I'm going to lose mine soon, although it could change if my GF really really wants to do it.

I am getting the feeling that you are embarrassed by your own post, lol

 

[pika3000]

I'm a virgin and proud to be, I was bullied for some time in high school when I would say that I didn't care about that kind thing which only made me want to loss it less, whenever the subject has been brought up for a friend its just about always trouble.

 

[kylehaas]

Hah! I'm not having sex until I get married! (I'm aiming for after college)
I don't mind waiting. It's against everything for me to do any different.
I refuse to masturbate too; I'll be honest, I want to love my future wife a lot more than my hand.
If I had to choose between losing a hand or losing my wife, I'd lose my hand.
Logic, it is a wonderful tool. I just hope I can find a girl who would do the same for me...

 

[skyman113]

.

 

[Densetsu]

I was never a believer in the whole "wait-for-marriage-to-have-sex" idea, but I certainly admire those who are disciplined enough to do it. It shows a level of integrity that is rare in a lot of people.

However, the potential problem in waiting for marriage is that sex issues can arise after you're married that you never would have expected. As Bamboo said, you're taking a chance when you wait. Sometimes people don't find out until after they're married that their husband is impotent, or that their wife "always has headaches and doesn't feel in the mood," which means that even after they get married, there's no sex. Many of my friends (male and female alike) tell me about their sexual problems and frustrations. It seems superficial, but sex is a big part of married life, and when you can't have it, it puts a strain on the relationship and can even lead to divorce.

If you're going to wait for sex, you should at least be extremely open with your significant other in talking about it. You should be able to discuss your most explicit fantasies, maybe even watch some hardcore pr0n together. Even if you can't go that far, at the very least you should be able to talk about it freely. That way you can discover potential sexual issues before you're locked to each other in matrimony. If your partner is uncomfortable talking about sex, you either have to find a way to help him/her overcome it, or consider ending the relationship to prevent bigger problems down the line after you're married.

 

[Little]

I'm clearly most def a virgin of the purest kind. I'm saving my self till my 30th birthday.... and if i'm married, i'll then uh "carry out this act" in order to have a child.