Video Game Logic

[Taleweaver]

-nobody (including your parents) will try to talk you out of fighting the greatest evil that ever was.
-there's no "just kill him" about it either. Doors will be locked, pathways will become blocked, you will have to take a detour...all in all, it's ALWAYS more work than it looks at first glance.
-companies that thrive on making money (in other words: capitalism) are EVIL. So are countries that try to spread the wealth (in other words: communism).
-if you help people, they will thank you and even give you a reward
-all spaceships will be equipped with fluorescent lasers that'll even emit sound in space. Yes, they'll even use those weapons when on a stealth mission.

 

[Icealote]

Having multiple lives, save points, continues... Even when you get hurt, you flicker for seconds becoming invincible to get out of danger or abuse the bug by attacking the shit of whatever was killing you.

 

[nryn99]

the professor will always know whenever you try to fish in dry land or ride a bike while walking on very tall grass.
why does my lapras need to learn surf when she already lets people ride on her back across water?
can't i walk diagonally?
there will most likely be a better weapon every time you beat someone/arrive the next town/after you level up a few times.
you look familiar, have i killed you before?

the door you came from is locked, no one in sight, no other exit. shit just got real.
i can heal and save here? enemy might be next door.

 

[dicamarques]

- 4 blocks of water makes infinite water for everyone
- floating islands of stone and dirt in the middle of the sky
- animal crossing (do i need to tell more )

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

That's not exclusive to video games. I get in similar situations with my girlfriend all the time...

Psh. Girlfriend logic, video game logic... what's the difference?

Hmm...well you play with both...and you can easily turn them off...they come in a bunch of different sizes...sometimes you can play them with your friends...it's if you win or lose, it's how you play.... WOMEN ARE VIDEO GAMES!

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[Taleweaver]

-baddies ALWAYS underestimate you. Even if you kill their helpers (which is 4 times your size).
-doors close automatically behind you
-you pick locks and hack computers without using your hands
-it's perfectly possible that killing a swarm of insects drops an lance of about 2 meters (Diablo sure is fun in that aspect ).
-how do Goomba's even know you're coming? Sure, they walk toward you...but they look 90 degrees in the wrong direction!

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

-you pick locks and hack computers without using your hands

You also always know the code for opening doors in enemy bases.

 

[Black-Ice]

Locking your door is for noobs
why not let any guy with big pokemon or a group of 6 with swords into my home

 

[ZAFDeltaForce]

- I can kill ghosts by taking pictures of them
- I can get really good at smithing, to the point of smithing daedric grade armor, so long as I keep honing my craft by making iron daggers
- It is perfectly alright to peruse a strangers personal belongings, even in front of a guard, so long as you don't take anything

 

[Maxternal]

-it's perfectly possible that killing a swarm of insects drops an lance of about 2 meters (Diablo sure is fun in that aspect ).

It's perfectly normal to kill a swarm of insects with a sword for that matter.

-how do Goomba's even know you're coming? Sure, they walk toward you...but they look 90 degrees in the wrong direction!

It's not like they change directions and chase you. I don't think they know you're there, but now that you mention it, how do they differentiate between you and another goomba. Why don't they kill each other, too, just by bumping into each other.

- Wait, I get it, the only reason Mario really dies is because he puts up his hands and makes a "oh, noes" face and jumps off of his 2D world into the third dimension thus appearing to fall off the screen through the ground. It's suicide. Goombas couldn't kill anything by themselves if they wanted to.

 

[weavile001]

-killing a swarm of bees in a field with your hands is pretty normal
-you can kick a football and make it crumble the world , and it wont burst
-DEMONS are invading the world? the world is falling apart? everyone is going to die in a matter of hours? lets talk about feelings....
-remember that boy that gets bullied everyday? he may save the world anytime
-some knives are more powerfull than some kinds of guns

 

[JulietStMoon]

-killing a swarm of bees in a field with your hands is pretty normal

You're more likely to get killed by a swarm of bees (that arbitrarily attack you, and are somehow big enough to be sliced with a sword, despite being the size of typical bees) than you are by a huge, lightning-fast venus flytrap twice your size. (Majora's Mask)

 

[finkmac]

Hitting/shooting a body will cause it to explode, sending innards flying everywhere, and disappearing immediately after.

 

[Taleweaver]

-there is NEVER a false start in whatever kind of race ever
-the weather is never "average" or "grey". You always have the best views of the most beautiful sunsets and -rises EVAR!
-you can change your clothes instantly and without anyone noticing it (okay, GTA is an exception here).
-you get points for everything. Not that you'll ever DO anything with it, but still: YOU GET POINTS FOR EVERYTHING!!!
-a plastic toy with five buttons is perfectly fine to emulate a six string guitar.

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

Got one.

-Beat a trainers Pokemon once, THEY'RE DEAD FOREVER AND THE TRAINER WILL NEVER MOVE FROM THAT SPOT NOR WILL HE/SHE ACQUIRE NEW POKEMON.

 

[Gahars]

Got one.

-Beat a trainers Pokemon once, THEY'RE DEAD FOREVER AND THE TRAINER WILL NEVER MOVE FROM THAT SPOT NOR WILL HE/SHE ACQUIRE NEW POKEMON.

And now Bartleby the Scrivener makes perfect sense!

Anyone? Anyone?

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

Got one.

-Beat a trainers Pokemon once, THEY'RE DEAD FOREVER AND THE TRAINER WILL NEVER MOVE FROM THAT SPOT NOR WILL HE/SHE ACQUIRE NEW POKEMON.

And now Bartleby the Scrivener makes perfect sense!

Anyone? Anyone?

Ah Bartleby! Ah humanity!

 

[loco365]

Got one.

You start your adventure as a Pokemon Trainer, and you end up miraculously stopping a cataclysmic event singlehandedly during that adventure.

 

[weavile001]

you could say that this person is a badass

 

[Kereth Midknight]

Some of these are pretty old school, but. . .

-Doors and windows exist for the sole purpose of keeping the walls from disappearing when the architects complete an entire row.
-All diseases can be cured by the proper alignment of appropriately colored pills.
-Mushrooms, flowers, feathers, and certain leaves can all function as ablative armor.
-Using a pushup bra, and in fact, going without a bra at all, is not only acceptible athletic attire for females, the extra lift probably helps them jump higher.
-If a character will be important later in, they are invincible. Similarly, if they're can be killed, you can be fairly confident that they're not important later. (Note: It turns out this is a bad test in real life for long term relationship potential)
-Everything important in life, from the billing center at the local daycare to the gestation period of unhatched eggs, will use your personal pedometer in lieu of an actual clock to measure time.
-If science ever invents a tool that lets you climb walls or remotely grapple surfaces or stick portals to them or pass through solid bariers or any other such miracle of mobility, that tool will only work on a limited number of surfaces, and those surfaces will only be found in places you were always meant to go anyway.
-Enemies too powerful for you to defeat only exist to keep you from wandering into the wrong parts of the world too early and spoiling the plot. You'll go there later.
-Blue doors are "glass doors" and you open them by shooting them with a gun. That doesn't stop them from closing behind you.
-If you stick your head into your backpack, look up, up, down down, left, left, right, right, move your arms, jump, then move your arms, then jump again, then pull your head back out of your backpack, you become unstoppable.