Video Game Logic

[Sora de Eclaune]

YOU ARE THE CHOSEN OF THE GODS, INSERT NAME HERE. SO WAS YOUR GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDFATHER, FROM WHOM YOUR NAME WAS DERIVED. THIS EXPLAINS WHY YOU LOOK AND SOUND EXACTLY LIKE HIM, HAVE A HORSE THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE HIS THAT HAS THE SAME NAME AS HIS, HAVE THE EXACT SAME SKILLSET, AND ARE IN LOVE WITH A PRINCESS CHOSEN BY THE GODS WHOSE GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDMOTHER, FROM WHOM HER NAME WAS DERIVED, WAS ALSO A PRINCESS CHOSEN BY THE GODS AND WAS ALSO LOVED BY YOUR GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDFATHER. ALSO I'M SORRY YOU'RE AN ORPHAN, BUT THEY WOULD'VE BEEN PROUD.

 

[Maxternal]

Back on topic ...
... ahem ...

- People have mentioned the ever so popular do double jump but what about the wall kick, have you ever actually tried that? (don't answer.)
- You go back in time and relive the last 3 days before the world ends but you never stumble across yourself from the last time around.
- Food is only used to fabricate soldiers (modern technology let's you do it with minerals) and then if you stumble across food it will heal your wounds but NEVER because you're hungry. That would be a waste of HP. Just stick it in your bottomless, weightless backpack (it's been on the ground in a long deserted area for who knows how long a few more days in your backpack and it's not going bad.)
- You're the last person on earth after the apocalypse but every time you sit down at a camp fire a saleman with a giant chicken mask comes and wants to sell you stuff for money he can't actually spend anywhere either himself.
- your hair NEVER get's messed up.
- foxes always have either 1, 2 or (mostly) 9 tails.
- You have enough power to blast through a tank but you need an elusive key to open that door.
- That tank will eventually just explode if you hit it enough with that hand gun.
- You're arch enemy lives somewhere that's a linear obstacle course full of booby traps. He never comes out because he's in the part of his house that's FARTHEST away from the front door and would have to get past all the decorative mines, spikes, and hot lava to go shopping. Unfortunately, he also hid just what you're looking for right behind himself.

 

[triassic911]

You are the only one who can save the world. ONLY you. Not your friend, not your neighbor, not some dude on the other side of the world, ONLY YOU.

 

[Sora de Eclaune]

• If you find a broken sword, you will always get the chance to fix it and it will always end up being the magical sword you need to save the world.
• You are immune to the instant-death something or other because you hold the magical macguffin!
• One character throughout the game will always be there to tell you when your wireless controller's battery is low.
• If no one in the kingdom is able to defeat a rogue knight, you will be able to defeat him easily.
• You come from a small, peaceful village. There are a couple of knights to protect it, but otherwise no one knows how to wield a weapon. You were never taught how to wield a weapon, either. However, the instant you pick one up you'll be able to competently wield it.
• Even if you're a skinny, weak kid, you will still be able to wield the giant sword that must weigh at least 150+ pounds.
• If you get on the generic fast-travel steed of the game, you will be able to run across the overworld without seeing any random encounters at all, no matter how strong the encounters or how high the encounter rate.
• Massive hemorrhaging can be stopped by going back around the corner and putting your weapon away for a few seconds.
• Putting on a different costume instantly makes you forget how to cast that Fire spell and instantly teaches you how to do a shield thrust. However, if you put on the costume you had on previously after that, you will forget how to shield thrust and remember how to cast fire.

You are the only one who can save the world. ONLY you. Not your friend, not your neighbor, not some dude on the other side of the world, ONLY YOU.

Even when the game says you aren't, the character who is supposed to save the world dies and you end up being the sole person that can save the world anyway.

 

[TripleSMoon]

You are the only one who can save the world. ONLY you. Not your friend, not your neighbor, not some dude on the other side of the world, ONLY YOU.

And it doesn't matter how many times your teammates fall in battle, they'll be fine as soon as the battle is over and/or you get to an inn or hospital. But if you fall, it doesn't matter if you have five level 50 teammates with full health against 1 enemy, who could easily win without you and take you to an inn, it's game over.

Even when the game says you aren't, the character who is supposed to save the world dies and you end up being the sole person that can save the world anyway.

In other words, we can streamline it to say "Even when you're NOT the chosen one, you're the chosen one."

 

[Sora de Eclaune]

Even when the game says you aren't, the character who is supposed to save the world dies and you end up being the sole person that can save the world anyway.

In other words, we can streamline it to say "Even when you're NOT the chosen one, you're the chosen one."

That's not what I'm saying.

I'm trying to say...um.... "When you're not the chosen one, you end up doing the chosen one's duty anyway."

Something like that. Kind of like on Chrono Trigger when YOU end up being the one to do everything the Chosen One is supposed to be doing

Spoiler

until you recruit him

just because he believes he's a sack of crap who doesn't deserve to do any of it.

 

[ZAFDeltaForce]

No idea if this has been posted here, but...

 

[Pleng]

Worms have an awesome arsenal of weaponry

 

[Sora de Eclaune]

I have to go into a flooded building and be underwater for extended periods of time! However, I cannot breathe water with my flimsy lungs. Fortunately, I can put on blue clothes, which blue means water so it will totally work out.

 

[jose_exe]

Carries around rocket launcher

Can't destroy wooden doors

Edit:

Just rembered a part of the first DQ joker where you have to lower a bridge... for a puddle of water!

 

[Sicklyboy]

Monsters have no idea where you go when you hide in a room with no exits. (Amnesia)

 

[Ace Overclocked]

You are the only one who can save the world. ONLY you. Not your friend, not your neighbor, not some dude on the other side of the world, ONLY YOU.

And it doesn't matter how many times your teammates fall in battle, they'll be fine as soon as the battle is over and/or you get to an inn or hospital. But if you fall, it doesn't matter if you have five level 50 teammates with full health against 1 enemy, who could easily win without you and take you to an inn, it's game over.

That's one of the reasons i like xenoblade's system, as long as your teammates can revive you they can keep fighting.

 

[Icealote]

Music will usually play when you enter different areas and when it starts to sound ominous, shit gets serious.

 

[Taleweaver]

- at one point in time - roughly when you're twelve - someone from the same small town village you both grew up in (inhabitants: less than 10) will ask for your name. (s)he will then say something like "Oh...Skumsuckr! is such a nice name. ".
- the clothes you wear can influence the amount of money or magical items monsters drop when you kill them...if said clothes are magical.
- Mario is an athlete who plays just about every sports at a professional level and has romantic affairs with Daisy, Pauline and Peach (which is A PRINCESS!!!). And despite the fact that he never does anything remotely resembling plumbing...he doesn't change profession.
-you know a character is from Japan if he's dressed for carnival and his hair looks like it's dragged through a large bowl of icecream. He certainly DOESN'T have a yellow/golden-ish skin, a particular accent or crack eyes.
-if you lower the price enough, people WILL get on the rollercoaster. Even if they just saw the previous wagon crash and burn in plain sight.

 

[TripleSMoon]

despite the fact that he never does anything remotely resembling plumbing...he doesn't change profession.

Spoiler

Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga says, "hi."

 

[emigre]

You guilty until someone else is proven guilty.

 

[retKHAAAN]

This should count...

Buy a console with the sole purpose of pirating games for it, then complain about every new anti-piracy method or about the lack of backwards compatibility on the next generation console.

Though, I guess it's more "shitty gamer logic" than "video game logic"...

 

[TripleSMoon]

This should count...

Buy a console with the sole purpose of pirating games for it, then complain about every new anti-piracy method or about the lack of backwards compatibility on the next generation console.

Though, I guess it's more "shitty gamer logic" than "video game logic"...

Yeah, it's more of "gamer logic" than "video game logic." But I agree, nonetheless.

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

Worms have an awesome arsenal of weaponry

I shall now set about playing Worms World Party.

 

[snakepliskin2334]

This should count...

Buy a console with the sole purpose of pirating games for it, then complain about every new anti-piracy method or about the lack of backwards compatibility on the next generation console.

Though, I guess it's more "shitty gamer logic" than "video game logic"...

Yeah, it's more of "gamer logic" than "video game logic." But I agree, nonetheless.

omg this is so true i mean no one is ever happy with every console they come out with ppl pardon my french bitch and complain about every little thing ): i for one am tired of it