The sad tale of the Hyrule Guards.

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by PuyoDead, Jul 7, 2008.

Jul 7, 2008
  1. PuyoDead
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    Member PuyoDead Hey! Hey! Oh!

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    Place: Hyrule
    Time: Late morning

    Today, this particular guard was making his rounds around the courtyard at Hyrule Castle. Nothing fancy, he's been doing it for years. It was a clear, sunny day, and all was well. At least, for the most part. That crazy wizard Agahnim had been making a lot of noise and uproar in the castle lately, but that wasn't any of the guard's business. He knew better than to poke his head where it doesn't belong.

    The thing on his mind this morning was the notice that went out all across the Hyrule castle guards a couple of days ago. Seems some kid had kidnapped the princess. No name, just a crude picture to go by. The guard had heard of crazy things involving princess Zelda in the past, but never thought he'd be around for another round of it. But again, this particular guard knew better. Don't go off trying to be a hero, just do your job. Besides, the castle had already dispatched quite a large number of guards across the land in search of the kid.

    So this particular guard just continued to walk his usual area this time of the week. Everyone else did the same, and life in Hyrule as a castle guard was pretty much the same. Although, he did notice some of his fellow guards displaying some behavior that he would consider unusual. Some of the other guards had been overheard talking about the kid, and seemed to want to get any chance they could at fame.

    "I'll slice that kid in half if I see him!"

    "Not if I peg him to a tree with my arrows first!"

    This particular guard knew better.
    ---------------

    Fast forward a few days. It's now approaching evening, and the rain refuses to let up.

    There's been talk going around the castle that a man had rushed into the lower levels of the castle via the side entrance. The guards thought it silly to simply cover that entrance with a bush and leave it be. They told their superiors that the bush wouldn't be enough to cover that old passage. But no, the bad idea stayed. Now everyone saw why it was a bad idea.

    Word around the lower levels was a bit more detailed. The man didn't make it very far, and was suspected to be dead. A couple of guards got a few good hits on him, but with him only wearing simple clothes, and only carrying a sword and shield, he was much faster. They lost sight of him a while ago, and weren't having much luck finding him.

    Now word around the ground level started to get a bit weird. Apparently a kid had ran through the same path as the man had earlier. Seems the bush didn't do much good again. In fact, this unusual kid seemed to rip it right out of the ground. Everyone suspected it was "The" kid. But why on earth would he be coming back to the castle if he had just kidnapped princess Zelda? Things just kept getting stranger this night.
    ---------------

    Let's change things up a bit, shall we?

    Link had managed to find his way into the castle, which really wasn't all that difficult. He still felt a bit bad about leaving the house against his uncle's wishes. But Zelda's voice just kept echoing in his head. He knew he had to do something, uncle would understand. And he soon found out that his uncle not only understood, but was willing to help.

    Upon gaining entrance to the lower levels of the castle, Link found his uncle slouched against a wall, obviously in terrible shape. As he made it to his uncle's side, he explained that although he didn't want him involved, he would hand over his sword and shield, in hopes of Link finding Zelda. Link had no choice but to leave his uncle's body, and do whatever it would take to find princess Zelda.

    Link makes his way into the next room, only to come face to face with castle guards. Thinking he was about to meet the same fate as his uncle, he moved a bit more cautious, sword ready to strike at any danger. Oddly enough, he didn't seem to actually be in any danger. The guards might as well have been blind, for all he could tell. Not only was he able to walk right past them, but they didn't even care if he took a swing or two at them. Link thought it best to not test this out much more.

    (visual aid)
    <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3034/2643969565_22ec442492.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />

    As Link made his way through the castle, he quickly realized that not all guards were so tolerant of his presence. Shouts of "There he is!", and "This one is mine!" seemed to be fairly common. Reluctantly, Link made quick work of these guards, who seemed pretty careless in their efforts. After quite a few fallen guards, and just as many who found their patrol more important than him, Link finally found the source of the voice.

    Zelda was locked in a cell, guarded by what must have been the leader of all the guards. Link had not seen anything like this guard before, but this guard seemed to have the same attitude as the guys doing anything they could to get him. And funny enough, he seemed just as careless. Yet again, Link bested the guard without much effort. Upon receiving much gratitude and kind words from Zelda, she informed him of a way to escape the castle. After much of the same treatment on the way in, they made their way through the castle once more.

    He seemed to gain a bit more attention with Zelda in tow, now. But yet again, he kept on seeing guards just continue walking like nothing was going on whatsoever. All the better for him, he though.

    After passing through some rather dark and damp passages, as well as quite a few nasty creatures, Link and Zelda made it to the Sanctuary she had mentioned earlier. After some kind words of hope, Link went on his way to find his true destiny...

    (We all know the story from here. But this is not the story of Link. Oh no, this is the untold story of people in the wrong place at the wrong time.)
    ---------------

    As a guard sent out in search of one person in all of Hyrule, life can be difficult. Sure, there's the town where most people reside, but there's quite a few odd characters spread all around the world that you either can't seem to find, or they don't care to be found. It's almost just as easy to just walk around aimlessly, and hope for the best. Case in point:

    (visual aid)
    <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3150/2644796390_e4c629c484.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />

    "No way. No chance did I just happen to stumble upon "The" kid. It sure looks like him, I think. I had better go find out."

    Link never expected to run into those same crazy guards again, and most certainly not outside the castle walls. But sure enough, the guard approaching him quickened his pace, and let out with a loud, "It IS you!". Link was surprised, and relieved, to find that the lack of fighting skills was still present in these guards as well.

    Link made it to town, only to figure out why these guards seemed so devoted to attacking him:

    (visual aid)
    <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3095/2643969625_f9a3f9c5d4.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />

    Link's heart sank. He ripped it from the ground with all his might. Surely people didn't believe this, right? He had just saved her! Why on earth was he accused of kidnapping the girl he just saved? Things only got worse.

    (visual aid)
    <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3107/2643969705_b1eedf7bf7.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />

    "Oh no, this isn't good", thought Link. Right on cue, a guard seemingly comes out of thin air, making a beeline for Link. There was a bit of a problem, though. The "beeline" had a bit of a bush in the path. Yet the guard seemed ever vigilant on attacking Link.

    (visual aid)
    <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3035/2644796582_fff8ae8e02.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />

    Link let out a sigh, and slowly approached the guard, still carrying a full head of stream, straight into the bushes. "They really should train these guys more".

    (visual aid)
    <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3071/2644796620_c4c0348c10.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />

    Not all was bad, it seemed. In fact, it was becoming apparent to Link that only the guards, and the one crazy lady were falling for this whole kidnapping business.

    (visual aid)
    <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3280/2643969665_c69d68abb9.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />

    Some people didn't even seem to know about it.

    (visual aid)
    <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3256/2644796718_a55423fdd3.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />

    Stranger still, as Link traveled the land and faced great trials and beasts of indescribable horrors, it seemed everyone had forgotten about the whole kidnapping event. People were willing to help him out, ancient powers were bestowed upon him, and he was given support through all the land. He still ran into the occasional guard left from long ago. Maybe they never got the word about what really happened, he thought. He generally just avoided them if possible. No sense in killing these poor guys.

    As Link gained more power, and more understanding of just what laid in his future, Link made a startling discovery. It was Agahnim who started the rumor of the kidnapping. In fact, it was Agahnim who sent her to that cell in the basement in the first place. Link would only hope to face him, and return all the pain and suffering of the innocent ones killed because of Agahnim's betrayal of the people of Hyrule.
    ---------------

    Fast forward yet again, this time for a much longer amount of time.

    Link heads through town once again, on his way to the castle to meet Agahnim himself, at last. At a quick glance, Link notices something very upsetting. The signs accusing him of the kidnapping were back up! After all his work, he was STILL being blamed for it. Link again pulled it from the ground, tossing it aside like a twig. Link quickly made his way to the castle entrance. Again with the guards patrolling all over. Again with the guards darting to him, in hopes of pleasing their lying leader. And again with the few guards who paid him no attention whatsoever. Even with all his rage, Link felt it better to leave them be.
    ---------------

    Today, this particular guard was making his rounds around the courtyard at Hyrule Castle. It had been a long time since the whole kidnapping event, and sadly, he had lost quite a few friends over the incident. Although he felt a lot of anger over the whole mess, he heard the stories of just how quickly his friends met their fate. He thought of leaving his post and getting revenge. But he had also heard rumors of terrible beasts "The" kid felled through the land. He thought it best to not entertain that idea.

    And as odd as fate can be, he never expected this one. He heard cries of anger and pain from the courtyard. As he got closer, he saw "The" kid. Sure enough, there he was, making quick work of anyone foolish enough to approach him. "The" kid had a purpose, and nobody would stand in his way. He thought that his chance was here. He thought this was the moment to get his revenge for all his fallen friends. But again, he thought it best not to stick his head in business he was not a part of.

    This particular guard knew better.

    The End.
    ---------------

    The moral of the story? The next time you play A Link to the Past, think of the guards. They're only doing their job. It's not their fault they got bad information. As far as they knew, they were right in what they were doing. These poor guys have families, and friends who love them. Spare them, and their loved ones, the suffering. They've been made tools for a wicked couple of people, thrown out to die for a cause they would never support in the first place.

    Think of the children.

    Goodnight.
     
  2. ScuberSteve

    ScuberSteve Newbie

    This was like, original content on /v/ quality good.
     
  3. PuyoDead
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    Member PuyoDead Hey! Hey! Oh!

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    I hope that's a good thing. This took me entirely took long to write. Had the idea for a long time, just never got around to fleshing it out.
     
  4. fischju

    Member fischju Rehabilitated Jaywalker

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    I enjoyed reading it
     
  5. ackers

    Member ackers GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    You gotta be shitting me, I'm not reading all that!
     
  6. ScuberSteve

    ScuberSteve Newbie

    That was a tl;dr moment right there.
     
  7. PuyoDead
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    Member PuyoDead Hey! Hey! Oh!

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    For those too lazy to re- I mean, too busy to read the whole thing, at least make it a point to read that little bit after "The End".
     
  8. Orc

    Member Orc ‎(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

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    [​IMG]
    Orc has enjoyed this and approves of it.
     
  9. PuyoDead
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    Member PuyoDead Hey! Hey! Oh!

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    Y'know, the funny thing is, those are exactly the guards that ignore you. The guys with the little swords seem to know they don't stand a chance.
     
  10. PizzaPasta

    Member PizzaPasta Son of p1ngpong

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    Word. No offense, PuyoDead. I'm sure it's good, though.
     

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