Team Fortress 2, the groundbreaking, in-depth hat simulator (with a decent multiplayer shooter tacked on), has been on the market for years now. Despite its age, it continues to be a popular choice among gamers. Well, brace yourselves, GBAtemp. I have some bad news: In what can only be described as a hat-astrophe, Valve will be retiring the game's original nine hats. The Escapist, Official Mann Co. Announcement President and CEO of Mann Co., Saxton Hale, claims that the move was sparked by a raccoon infestation in one of the company's factories. Valve, meanwhile, is likely interested in adding some more scarcity to the game's hat-based economy, driving up the value of these items. Remember, kids: Money doesn't go on trees, but it does sprout from hats. If you want to get your hands on any of these hats, you have two more weeks to purchase, collect, or craft them. If you're averse to trading, you could always try your luck with older chests, but your odds won't be good. Take it from me. You shouldn't have any crate expectations.