School appropriate "LOL" jokes

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by notnarb, Feb 27, 2009.

  1. notnarb
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    notnarb Not narbing it up

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    I'm competing against 3 other people in a school event where I must make 4 randomly selected students spit out the koolaid which they will have in their mouth (laughing is the implied objective). My main obstacle is finding "LOL" jokes that are school appropriate that take less than 15 seconds. In fact I am almost convinced they don't exist. I intend to scare the crap out of one of them (proven to work! [​IMG]), but I can't do that when the mic gets passed to me and I'd imagine the other 3 would catch on despite the fact that they are all facing away from each other. So yea, need sum jokes potent enough to make someone spit out a mouth full of liquid (or more dirty tricks besides starting a joke quietly and then shouting to startle them)
     


  2. Advi

    Advi GBAtemp Maniac

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    A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.” Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde replies, “According to the box, it’s a tiger.” Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.” He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box.”
     
  3. JPH

    JPH Banned

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    LOL nice ^

    however im sure you'll offend all the blonde girls in your classroom, and that probably wont turn up good [​IMG]
     
  4. Advi

    Advi GBAtemp Maniac

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    Man walks into the Doctors office. “I have the results of your test and I’m afraid your going to die” Says the Doctor. The Man asks “How long do I have to live?” “Ten”, replies the Doctor. “What the hell does that mean”, the Man asks. “Ten Years, Ten Months, Ten weeks, What?” The Doctor Replies “Nine”
     
  5. Tanas

    Tanas GBAtemp Addict

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    Steven Hawking came back for his first blind date in 10 years.
    His glasses were smashed, his nose was broken, he had twisted ankle and
    a bruised knee.

    Apparently, she had stood him up.
     
  6. juggernaut911

    juggernaut911 GBAtemp Slut!

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    old...

    i don't need to use jokes. people just laugh at me... wait
     
  7. Advi

    Advi GBAtemp Maniac

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    not my fault I copied them off of LOL.com. U_U
     
  8. iritegood

    iritegood GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    What's the difference between batman and a black guy?
    Batman can go a night with out Robin.

    What's the difference between a book and a mexican?
    A book has real papers.

    What do you get when you cross a black guy and an asian guy?
    Someone that can steal a car but can't drive it.

    That's my racist-joke quota for today.
     
  9. kevenka

    kevenka GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    I laughed so hard at this joke.
     
  10. da_head

    da_head A dying dream..

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    Toronto, Canader!
    i don't get it o.o
     
  11. Banger

    Banger Me > | | < You ..Wanna Line dance?

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    He is counting backwards from 10.
     
  12. kevenka

    kevenka GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    Ah...come on man... 9 secs, 8 secs, 7 secs.
     
  13. BakuFunn

    BakuFunn Flameproof.

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    Maybe you could walk quietly onto the stage, and when your in the center, wait a second, take out those maracas behind your back and sing "PEANUT BUTTA JELLY TIME" while dancing. You know.
    Well i get entertained easily.


    And aren't racist jokes inappropriate?
    Or those stereotype stuff?
     
  14. kevenka

    kevenka GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    yea...I thought those racist jokes were too mean.
     
  15. notnarb
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    notnarb Not narbing it up

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    amusing, but it takes a second. tried it on two people and no 'LOL'
    too racist (although I'm sure they would work if I used them [​IMG])
     
  16. da_head

    da_head A dying dream..

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    Toronto, Canader!
    yeah i got it lol. just seemed a little long for a second hahah
     
  17. knl

    knl I can change this?

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    this lady walks into an ice cream store and asks the cashier, "hi could I have some vanilla"
    the cashier says, "sorry ma'am we're all out of vanilla"
    the lady replies, "oh, okay, then I'll have the vanilla"
    "ma'am, as I just said, we have no vanilla ice cream currently"
    "oh... I see... well then can you sell me the vanilla?"
    "Ma'am, can you spell straw, as in strawberry for me?"
    "okay, s-t-r-a-w" "ok, now can you spell late, as in chocolate for me?"
    "alright, l-a-t-e..." "then can you spell freak, as in vanilla for me?"
    "but there's no freak in vanilla." "ma'am that's exactly what i've been trying to tell you."

    joke had to be touched up but I think it still works.
     
  18. notnarb
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    notnarb Not narbing it up

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    30 seconds [​IMG]
     
  19. Brian117

    Brian117 GBAtemp Psycho!

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    I honestly don't get this... [​IMG]

    Feel free to bash.
     
  20. dinofan01

    dinofan01 Misses the old days...

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    +1
    I have no idea. Oh wait, I get it now. (while I wrote this). Your suppose to say it fast so that the "freak in" sounds like "freaking." Theres no freaking vanilla.