I just finished reading Half-Potter and The Hairy Prince and WTF? Snape killed Dumblemort!
WTF kinda shit-ending is that? Well, I am to blame. See, when I don't like an ending, I make up my own and after hearing Harry would knockup both Mermione and Gayney Weasle in the sixth book from a talking ashtray I decided to invent my own ending since I was rooting for Harry to impregnate McGonnagle from the start. It went like this;
Dumblemort was smoking pot when Harry said he knew a cave where there was big bowl of Turkish Hashish floating somewhere in a little boat on a massive internal lake, which was left behind by conquistadors during the Spanish revolution which was really about Pot. But, it was protected by an army of AIDS corpses which the local Eugenics center dumped between the rocks after having fed the immune compromised patients Ebola to protect the economy from massive unemployment caused by illness. They used a spell called "Marijurmina" and summoned the bowl, then Harry tasted some, then Dumblemort. After that, Dumblemort got like, totally sick because a rat had been shitting in the Hashish and the turd was infected with Leptospirosis and Dumblemort was allergic to Bacteria.
Afterwards they got back to the spacestation, Dumblemort puked in his helmet afterwhich Snape pulled the helmet off with a handkerchief in his hand to help his favorite Deadbeater headmaster. He forgot they were on a journey to the center of the planet to fix a broken oil line to China and Dumblemort's head exploded from the massive pressure.
I was so disappointed with this title! WTF kind of ending was that? It's full of plotholes! Why didn't Snape stop the The Terminator when he first appeared in the Lumberyard? Why was Harry's Pet Human allowed to feed when Dumblemort strictly forbade letting any Muggle survive? Why don't any of the spells in the book work from the first time in real life and you have to say them several times before they do anything? And WTF was that shit about spacestations?
I know I made that shit up, but that doesn't mean the book isn't responsible for me imagining such a weak ending! It should have being constructed in a manner that would stimulate my brain to come up with a better plot. Also, I just drank a gallon of Gasoline because we were out of Amaretto and I'm starting to lose control over my autonomous nervous system. Bladder control went out like, an hour ago and I peed all over the ceiling several times. I think I gonna puke - wait, I read Cigars calm the gastrointestinal system. Let me light this on up and
WTF kinda shit-ending is that? Well, I am to blame. See, when I don't like an ending, I make up my own and after hearing Harry would knockup both Mermione and Gayney Weasle in the sixth book from a talking ashtray I decided to invent my own ending since I was rooting for Harry to impregnate McGonnagle from the start. It went like this;
Dumblemort was smoking pot when Harry said he knew a cave where there was big bowl of Turkish Hashish floating somewhere in a little boat on a massive internal lake, which was left behind by conquistadors during the Spanish revolution which was really about Pot. But, it was protected by an army of AIDS corpses which the local Eugenics center dumped between the rocks after having fed the immune compromised patients Ebola to protect the economy from massive unemployment caused by illness. They used a spell called "Marijurmina" and summoned the bowl, then Harry tasted some, then Dumblemort. After that, Dumblemort got like, totally sick because a rat had been shitting in the Hashish and the turd was infected with Leptospirosis and Dumblemort was allergic to Bacteria.
Afterwards they got back to the spacestation, Dumblemort puked in his helmet afterwhich Snape pulled the helmet off with a handkerchief in his hand to help his favorite Deadbeater headmaster. He forgot they were on a journey to the center of the planet to fix a broken oil line to China and Dumblemort's head exploded from the massive pressure.
I was so disappointed with this title! WTF kind of ending was that? It's full of plotholes! Why didn't Snape stop the The Terminator when he first appeared in the Lumberyard? Why was Harry's Pet Human allowed to feed when Dumblemort strictly forbade letting any Muggle survive? Why don't any of the spells in the book work from the first time in real life and you have to say them several times before they do anything? And WTF was that shit about spacestations?
I know I made that shit up, but that doesn't mean the book isn't responsible for me imagining such a weak ending! It should have being constructed in a manner that would stimulate my brain to come up with a better plot. Also, I just drank a gallon of Gasoline because we were out of Amaretto and I'm starting to lose control over my autonomous nervous system. Bladder control went out like, an hour ago and I peed all over the ceiling several times. I think I gonna puke - wait, I read Cigars calm the gastrointestinal system. Let me light this on up and
![[M]artin](/data/avatars/l/53/53229.jpg?1568173037){kind=avatar}
