OMG! Snape killed Dumblemort!

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by iTech, Aug 7, 2007.

  1. iTech
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    iTech GBAtemp Regular

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    I just finished reading Half-Potter and The Hairy Prince and WTF? Snape killed Dumblemort!
    WTF kinda shit-ending is that? Well, I am to blame. See, when I don't like an ending, I make up my own and after hearing Harry would knockup both Mermione and Gayney Weasle in the sixth book from a talking ashtray I decided to invent my own ending since I was rooting for Harry to impregnate McGonnagle from the start. It went like this;
    Dumblemort was smoking pot when Harry said he knew a cave where there was big bowl of Turkish Hashish floating somewhere in a little boat on a massive internal lake, which was left behind by conquistadors during the Spanish revolution which was really about Pot. But, it was protected by an army of AIDS corpses which the local Eugenics center dumped between the rocks after having fed the immune compromised patients Ebola to protect the economy from massive unemployment caused by illness. They used a spell called "Marijurmina" and summoned the bowl, then Harry tasted some, then Dumblemort. After that, Dumblemort got like, totally sick because a rat had been shitting in the Hashish and the turd was infected with Leptospirosis and Dumblemort was allergic to Bacteria.
    Afterwards they got back to the spacestation, Dumblemort puked in his helmet afterwhich Snape pulled the helmet off with a handkerchief in his hand to help his favorite Deadbeater headmaster. He forgot they were on a journey to the center of the planet to fix a broken oil line to China and Dumblemort's head exploded from the massive pressure.

    I was so disappointed with this title! WTF kind of ending was that? It's full of plotholes! Why didn't Snape stop the The Terminator when he first appeared in the Lumberyard? Why was Harry's Pet Human allowed to feed when Dumblemort strictly forbade letting any Muggle survive? Why don't any of the spells in the book work from the first time in real life and you have to say them several times before they do anything? And WTF was that shit about spacestations?

    I know I made that shit up, but that doesn't mean the book isn't responsible for me imagining such a weak ending! It should have being constructed in a manner that would stimulate my brain to come up with a better plot. Also, I just drank a gallon of Gasoline because we were out of Amaretto and I'm starting to lose control over my autonomous nervous system. Bladder control went out like, an hour ago and I peed all over the ceiling several times. I think I gonna puke - wait, I read Cigars calm the gastrointestinal system. Let me light this on up and
     
  2. BoneMonkey

    BoneMonkey The cheese stash is a lie.

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    you should be banned for MASSIVE SPOILERS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS
     
  3. JPH

    JPH Banned

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    What the hell dude? I haven't yet to purchase the book and you fuckin' spoil it!
     
  4. [M]artin

    [M]artin .

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  5. iTech
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    iTech GBAtemp Regular

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    I didn't finish that post because someone knocked on the fence just when I was about to light that cigar up. It was Jesus that just came back from bowling.


    [​IMG] You're kidding right? Besides, you didn't read the book and you know I spoiled it? I didn't spoil anything. You think I'd do such a thing? Some guy really did spoil it for me last week on this board because he didn't use a spoilertag.
    I didn't spoil anything, since "Dumblemort" only exists in my Gasoline-drenched mind and you wouldn't know who he refers to.

    (I edited the post to reveal that Dumblemort is the headmaster of the Deadbeaters, an ancient child-abandonment's cult towich both Harry and Snape belong. They mainly exchange alimony-circumvention schemes.)
     
  6. BoneMonkey

    BoneMonkey The cheese stash is a lie.

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    there is a special place for you in hell
     
  7. cubin'

    cubin' GBAtemp Advanced Maniac

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    i love you iTech
     
  8. iamwhoiam

    iamwhoiam Honorary R4 Fanboy

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    +b +b !!!
     
  9. kellyan95

    kellyan95 Banned

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    Oh, come on. I knew about the ending and I don't even read Harry Potter books.
     
  10. pasc

    pasc GBATemps official GBA Freak

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    What's about Cho ? ^^
     
  11. James Kudo

    James Kudo GBAtemp Regular

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    It's okay, he dines with Dobby, Crabbe, Fred, Mad-Eye Moody, and Hedwig in the next book.
     
  12. Linkiboy

    Linkiboy GBAtemp Testing Area

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    become an hero

    nah jk i dnt give a shit abut harry pothead

    g my speeling rly suks 2day

    geta wrsers bi da secundz
     
  13. James Kudo

    James Kudo GBAtemp Regular

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    They do, though!

    They have a huge fiesta and eat dinner together.
     
  14. Icarus

    Icarus fire walk with me

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    Big Appleu
    Ron marries Hermione and they have hot and sweaty sex =]
     
  15. Linkiboy

    Linkiboy GBAtemp Testing Area

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    I almost choked.
     
  16. Icarus

    Icarus fire walk with me

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    Big Appleu
    But dude, IT IS true [​IMG] Just wait for 2 more books and you'll see it...
     
  17. amptor

    amptor Banned

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    nerd thread *alert* nerd thread
     
  18. Jax

    Jax Pip Pip Cheerioink!

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    Vader is Luke's father!
     
  19. TeraS

    TeraS GBAtemp Regular

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    star trek spaceship blew up OMG!
     
  20. pootman

    pootman Advanced Member

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    "It's full of stars!"