Im getting my deluxe soon
.
I cant be bothered to read your very cluttered posts, but usage is slightly complex I agree.
First, assuming your ds is flashed, Im going to assume you can use your ex4lite straight away.
The only thing you need to do, is update the kernel on the EZ4 Deluxe, by putting the latest one on the cart, downloadable from here:
http://ezflash.sosuke.com/about719.html
when you turn on the ds, hold "R shoulder button" and the kernel will update.
and then download the client avaliable to download from the same location to patch roms before putting them onto the EZ4 cart. Thats all. Then put the cart in the DS, and the games should run.
Installing skins in another story and can get more complex. But you didn't ask about that, so I'll stop here.