Just a question...

Discussion in 'GBAtemp Art Studio' started by Nujui, Feb 4, 2011.

  1. Nujui
    OP

    Nujui I need something to do.

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    Dreamland.
    I have a story I was writing and I wanted to show it to people, and I was wondering if this is the right section and if I'm allowed to.
     
  2. tagzard

    tagzard Tagzard the Crazy Dinosaur with Wings.

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    sure just post it up
     
  3. Nujui
    OP

    Nujui I need something to do.

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    Dreamland.
  4. ineap09

    ineap09 GBAtemp Regular

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    Many places. O_O MemeLove: 4/5
    *claps*
    That was actually an interesting read. It's full of mystery. Are you going to continue the story, or was that the end?
    Oh, and what's Dusky Need? Is that my name that I signed? O_O

    “Don't not be afraid dear child, as what you will have to face will be more scary than I.”
    I think that I'd be even more afraid after a statement like that instead of being encouraged like he seemed to think it as. O_O;
     
  5. Nujui
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    Nujui I need something to do.

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    I'm gonna keep going with it. I'm glad that you like it.
     
  6. Ikki

    Ikki GBATemp's grumpy panda.

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    I like how "I" am the protagonist, keep it up! I liked it.
     
  7. Tokyo Jihen

    Tokyo Jihen GBAtemp Regular

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    The tenses keep changing from present to past tense. There are a good amount of grammatical errors.

    Otherwise, it's pretty good for someone of your age. Some things are a bit cliche. Why does hell have to be filled with fire? Does heaven need to be perfect?
     
  8. Nujui
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    Nujui I need something to do.

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    You're not the first person that told me that I keep going from present to past. I'm still trying to work on that. And as for the heaven and hell thing, I didn't really show of what I thought of all of them. When I get to a certain part of the story, you will see that heaven is not perfect and that hell is not all filled with fire.
     
  9. Shockwind

    Shockwind DIEEE!!!

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    I like the story. Keep up the good work! [​IMG]