How can you tell if your online girlfriend is dating you for a partner visa?

[TheMILFofMallStreet69]

Recently I've been talking to a girl online. She seems to like me and I'm feeling something for her too. We haven't discussed our relationship directly. She hasn't mentioned investing in bitcoin or foreign currency so she probably isn't a scammer. But it may just be that she's after a partner visa, not money and isn't following any scam scripts. It's far harder to detect ill intentions from someone who is indirect and doesn't raise any red flags. Maybe I'm just misreading the situation and she treats me more warmly because I'm her foreign friend, not because she likes me. I'm happy to sponsor an online girlfriend for a partner visa but only if she intends to stay together after she gets it.

 

[LoggerMan]

Maybe you should forget about her and meet some local women?

 

[Technicmaster0]

It sounds like you don't really know her yet. Did you share pics? Did you do a video call? Did you talk about more intimate things yet?
She can also be nice and like you as a friend
The best way to find out about her thoughts is to ask her. But I don't think that it works out if you put pressure on her ("we must come together if you come here"). Did you think about visiting her?

 

[Lumpofcoal]

IMO, if she's more interested in what you can do (ie usefulness) for her than knowing you as a person. Those who are actually serious about getting into a relationship with another would be more curious as to your personal tastes (eg food), hobbies or even views on political subjects. In other words, they make an earnest attempt at engaging you at a much deeper level, even if it could potentially lead to unpleasant conversations. After all, if this is their potential life partner that they are talking about, they would want to make sure that it is someone that they can put up with in the long term.

For example, one of the first questions my wife (she is a local, not a foreigner) asked when we started dating was whether I was a smoker. At that time I was. But she liked me enough to put up with it and I tried to avoid smoking on your dates. But she always made it a point to nag at me that "You really ought to quit smoking if you want me to be more happy with you". I did quit in time after our marriage.

Besides that, "visa chasers" tend to quickly drop the act the moment there's some form of delay in getting their visas. For example, they sweet talk you everyday while persistently asking for an update on the visa. And if there are snags, they are quick to show their temper. Another potential red flag is if they ask you to lie about certain things when filling up the form. Someone who is genuinely interested in you won't want to risk getting you in such trouble.

 

[Maximumbeans]

You'll never know for certain. All you can do is read her words and actions, and try to gauge her (definitely her?) real intentions from that. Just be cautious.

 

[JustABadger]

If the wants you, she definitely does also for the visa, it’s completely normal. It’s why women are generally very interested in what you do for a living, among other things unrelated to them directly, to size you up.

The only problem here is: does she want you only for the visa and then dump you as soon as she’s there? To find an answer to that, you have to meet. Meet, meet, meet, meet. Spend time together. It will also help you to determine if she’s really going to be worth to keep around as a girlfriend. If things seem off, run.

 

[TheMILFofMallStreet69]

IMO, if she's more interested in what you can do (ie usefulness) for her than knowing you as a person. Those who are actually serious about getting into a relationship with another would be more curious as to your personal tastes (eg food), hobbies or even views on political subjects. In other words, they make an earnest attempt at engaging you at a much deeper level, even if it could potentially lead to unpleasant conversations. After all, if this is their potential life partner that they are talking about, they would want to make sure that it is someone that they can put up with in the long term.

For example, one of the first questions my wife (she is a local, not a foreigner) asked when we started dating was whether I was a smoker. At that time I was. But she liked me enough to put up with it and I tried to avoid smoking on your dates. But she always made it a point to nag at me that "You really ought to quit smoking if you want me to be more happy with you". I did quit in time after our marriage.

Besides that, "visa chasers" tend to quickly drop the act the moment there's some form of delay in getting their visas. For example, they sweet talk you everyday while persistently asking for an update on the visa. And if there are snags, they are quick to show their temper. Another potential red flag is if they ask you to lie about certain things when filling up the form. Someone who is genuinely interested in you won't want to risk getting you in such trouble.

This reminds me of something she did which demonstrates she's not after a partner visa. She knows I live in Australia, but she does not know I'm Australian. I only told her about my other nationality, an economically struggling country. Certain things I've said hint I'm also Australian but she hasn't asked about my immigration status. If she did ask she could just be genuinely curious but not asking demonstrates a lack of interest in a partner visa.

But it also turns out she's not interested in me, she's just an unusually friendly person. Sad but these things happen.

 

[Maximumbeans]

This reminds me of something she did which demonstrates she's not after a partner visa. She knows I live in Australia, but she does not know I'm Australian. I only told her about my other nationality, an economically struggling country. Certain things I've said hint I'm also Australian but she hasn't asked about my immigration status. If she did ask she could just be genuinely curious but not asking demonstrates a lack of interest in a partner visa.

But it also turns out she's not interested in me, she's just an unusually friendly person. Sad but these things happen.

That does suck, sorry to learn that man, but at least you don't need to worry about something non-genuine being used against you now. The next person you meet will hopefully have good and clear intentions

 

[Robert Newbie]

Lots of good responses in this thread. I'm sorry you got the fakeout. She may have been interested at some point and reconsidered, you never know. What matters is that you took a step back to be critical. There are too many people out there looking for convenience, free money, and attention. You're protecting yourself and your future when you ask these kinds of questions.

And as we all know, there's no better place for relationship advice than a video game forum.

 

[cearp]

Consider moving to her poor country, see what she thinks about that!

(If she's happy, she's genuine. If she insists in moving to your rich country, possibly not genuine.)

 

[M7L7NK7]

And as we all know, there's no better place for relationship advice than a video game forum.

Lmao this

 

[BeniBel]

You're running way, way ahead of yourself. Keep talking, see how things go. Just make yourself a rule: do not give anything of value to her. No money, no gift cards, ...


Also, the normal order for talking with someone is calling - video chat - meeting. Any talk about visa's and so on should be way after you've met, so in a good year or so.

 

[oobymach]

Don't get scammed, catfishing is real. Are you video chatting with her (so you at least know it's the person not some random image grabs off the internet)? If she doesn't want money then go meet her, if you hit it off then arrange to bring her home, but there's a chance it's a scam and she just wants a green card.

If she doesn't sleep with you after a few nights together she just wants the card.