Going freaking crazy here.

[DeadlyFoez]

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[DigitalDeviant]

First of all I offer my condolences, I know no amount of encouraging words will completely make the pain go away, please know their are people out their who do care.

Personally I knew my mothers friend who I would talk to occasionally. He was a father of two and loved his children. He got in a motorcycle accident and died. I felt cold, and I never quite new him. But I would always remember opening the door for him and shaking his hand as he asked whether his kids behaved(they were babysitted by my mother). He was a nice man and so it did bring sadness when I heard how he died. Please get help in the form of therapy or even close friends who you can talk to. Talk to people about it, don't just keep it bottled inside you. Thats the best advice I can give, I'm truly sorry for you loss.

 

[Blaze163]

My condolances also on your loss. I've never lost a friend by them taking their own life, but I have had a friend die in my arms before. That sucked. But to get through it, I found the best way to look at it was to always remember the good times, live your life as best you can in honour of your fallen friends, and to be thankful that you knew good people at all when many don't have that luxury.

The simple fact is that all life must eventually end. Do you want to be the guy that sat and moped, or do you want to be the guy that saw how fragile life can be and decided to grab it by the cajones and do what he can until his time comes?

Honour your friend and live your life as best you can. Anything else is an insult to their memory if you ask me.

 

[Vulpes Abnocto]

I don't have advice for this situation, unfortunately...but you, and his friends/family have my sincere condolences.

I'm not trying to pick on you, but since this is more of a blog post, I'm moving it there.

 

[431unknown]

Condolences first, now as for words of advice just know that by you living on his memory won't die. The pain of a loss will never go away and know that what ever god you maybe live in made it this way so that you know the pain that others will feel if they lose you.

Keep your friend close in your heart my friend and he'll always be by your side as a guardian angle watching over you.

Keep safe my friend.

 

[Hells Malice]

Well, i've been in the situation a few times...
Recently as well actually.

There's not much you can really -do- for yourself. I'd suggest finding a willing friend and just talking to them. Doesn't have to be about anything in particular, just anything. Talking helps, even if it's not about what you're depressed about. Talking to random strangers (like you are trying to now) helps to an extent, but i've always found talking with a friend to be the most soothing.
If not, find a story driven game and play it, or a visual novel. That's my way of coping anyways. Story driven games are...entrancing. They kept my mind off of real life, and helped me deal with the deaths in smaller doses.

Also, I agree with Blaze's sentiment as well.


Might be a bit corny of a phrase but, your friend didn't die, he simply lives on in your memories now. Cherish 'em, remember 'em, and try to keep positive as best you can, even if it's difficult.

 

[DeadlyFoez]

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[431unknown]

You need to purge those suicidal thoughts and think more about where your family might be if you were not around any more. This I feel is where the term man up comes to play no matter how cliche a certain monkat might say that is. Your daughters will need you don't ever forget that.

 

[DigitalDeviant]

First off, thank you everyone. I appreciate just to hear from other people.

What bothers me is that I haven't talked to this friend in well over 10 years, but he was a great friend back in the days. He had a great job and everyone loved him and it was completely unexpected. The day that was the wake I could not make it to it bc my wife was out of town and forgot to come home early enough for me to go.

I am rather suicidal myself. I've been in and out of the psych ward because of suicide attempts. But no matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn't bring myself bc I always though of everyone around me. This situation has opened my eyes that if it was so easy for my friend who had everything then it should be easy for my when I've had nothing but hell in my life.

I have social and emotional issues as is bc I have aspergers. That is a lot of my suicidal tenancies. But even more is that my mom left when I was a young child and moved to another country for some stupid guy she met over the internet and left me and my siblings behind and has never come back. That is where my depression started.

Life has always dealt me the shit end of the stick. I have 2 little girls that have autism. I love them to death, but that alone rips me apart. Dealing with their issues and problems day in and day out, and then see other children that are typical and act the way a normal child should. It really breaks me up inside.

I'm really depressed right now. So much is piling up. I see that it was easy for some who had a good life, it should be even easier for someone who has had nothing but shit in their life.

I'm about ready to check myself in. I think I should. I don't want my children hurt, but I just hate life so fucking much.

I had no idea you were are going through so much. Please be strong for your children, they need you. You've made the right decision in seeking help. You are not alone in this.

 

[431unknown]

If you need to hear a voice just pm me and I'll gladly give you my cell number if you want to talk sometime.

Sometimes its good to talk to a stranger.

Be strong.

 

[qwertymodo]

I've never been quite where you are, but I've had people close to me attempt suicide and I was the only one around to do anything. Spent a couple all-nighters in the hospital worried sick. There isn't really anything I can say except to offer my condolences and urge you to find someone you can talk to, even if it's a sympathetic stranger. When things like this happens, it's pretty common to be numb where nothing anyone else says means anything, and the only way to work your way through it is for you to do the talking. Remember the good times. Hang in there. I'll be praying for you.

 

[omegasoul6]

*Snip*

I offer my condolences
Please do not commit suicide,When your thinking about it just think about your daughters and how they would feel if you did it Think of all your friends.

 

[Shiro09]

*Snip*

Please do not commit suicide,When your thinking about it just think about your daughters and how they would feel if you did it Think of all your friends.

I also offer my condolences. I agree if you also commit suicide it would also make your family and friends worry creating more problems.

 

[FireGrey]

Just thing of all the good times, not his/her death.

 

[porchemasi]

If you cheat out of life you will not only ruin 2 beautiful girls lives, but also pretty much abandon them like your mom did. There is no difference in my eyes. You and your mom both have a choice with obvious consequences.

It doesn't help having AS and dealing with all these issues. Im sure your wife is having a hard time too!

I will honestly pray for you, to give you strength. I would def recommend talking to someone (your wife, sibling, etc) and even check yourself back in!

 

[supervenice]

CONDOLENCEs beforehand...

dont bring yourself down too much,your friend doesn't want to see you sulking that much if he/she is still alive---i know its depressing but as time moves forward--the wounds will heal--
Like the what the others said CHERISHED and RELIEVED the best and the happiest moments with your friend--remember his/her smile--the funny things you did..i know it will be much more depressing and sad--but i think your friend will be HAPPY...

MOVE FORWARD SLOWLY....



..by the by i sell phoenix downs..a bundle---your friend will be HAPPIER....

 

[8BitWalugi]

CONDOLENCEs beforehand...

dont bring yourself down too much,your friend doesn't want to see you sulking that much if he/she is still alive---i know its depressing but as time moves forward--the wounds will heal--
Like the what the others said CHERISHED and RELIEVED the best and the happiest moments with your friend--remember his/her smile--the funny things you did..i know it will be much more depressing and sad--but i think your friend will be HAPPY...

MOVE FORWARD SLOWLY....



..by the by i sell phoenix downs..a bundle---your friend will be HAPPIER....

This is serious bro. Not time to be joking around!

That aside, you have my condolences. As he said, over the course of time the wounds will heal. Most people in this world have lost someone that was very dear to them.

Don't do it bro. Think about what will happen if you do. You'll leave your wife and daughters to live by themselves and you'll have no idea what will happen to them.

 

[Hells Malice]

First off, thank you everyone. I appreciate just to hear from other people.

What bothers me is that I haven't talked to this friend in well over 10 years, but he was a great friend back in the days. He had a great job and everyone loved him and it was completely unexpected. The day that was the wake I could not make it to it bc my wife was out of town and forgot to come home early enough for me to go.

I am rather suicidal myself. I've been in and out of the psych ward because of suicide attempts. But no matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn't bring myself bc I always though of everyone around me. This situation has opened my eyes that if it was so easy for my friend who had everything then it should be easy for my when I've had nothing but hell in my life.

I have social and emotional issues as is bc I have aspergers. That is a lot of my suicidal tenancies. But even more is that my mom left when I was a young child and moved to another country for some stupid guy she met over the internet and left me and my siblings behind and has never come back. That is where my depression started.

Life has always dealt me the shit end of the stick. I have 2 little girls that have autism. I love them to death, but that alone rips me apart. Dealing with their issues and problems day in and day out, and then see other children that are typical and act the way a normal child should. It really breaks me up inside.

I'm really depressed right now. So much is piling up. I see that it was easy for some who had a good life, it should be even easier for someone who has had nothing but shit in their life.

I'm about ready to check myself in. I think I should. I don't want my children hurt, but I just hate life so fucking much.

About all I can comment on is worrying about your girls. I hope you don't look at them and worry about what they could have been like without autism. The only thing that matters is if they're happy. They're capable of happiness like anyone else. They might not be "normal", but they don't NEED to be perfectly normal, they just need to be happy.
If you need a reason to enjoy life, I think your girls are the perfect inspiration. Because of how crappy your life has apparently been, you should know very well no one deserves a life like that. Giving you reason to strive to bring a life of happiness to your girls. Honestly, maybe it's just me, but I find bringing happiness to be the best way to achieve it for yourself.

I don't know your situation of course, and am completely talking out of my ass here based on what you said, but I do hope my post is helpful in some way.

 

[scrtmstr]

My condolences, first of all.
For the past 3 months I've had to deal with 4 suicides and the death of my grandpa. It wasn't easy, I tell you, so I kinda understand what you're going through.
You're thinking to negativly right now. I can understand why, because you've been through so much crap in your life. I've been depressed as well, and the way I got out of my depression, and in fact the only way, is to talk a lot about it, and try to flick your way of thinking around. Look at it from the bright side, and don't hold on to your dark past. What's done is done.
I know a lot of people with autism, and they are just like normal people, only a bit different. They live normal lives, and they were different at a young age. And yes, they have it hard. Yes, they are a handfull most of the time. But, they are happy just the way they are. You, as their father, are the most important thing to them, as well as their mother. Autistic children heavily rely on their parents and other people, and that's what makes them happy. Someone who understands them, who they can trust. And I can say this to you with 100% certainity, because that's what I do all the time. I listen to them, and they trust me and like me that way. They are happy when they've let off all their steam. It's really tiring sometimes, but if that is something I can do for them, I'm more then happy to be a volunteer.

You'll get through this, just think about your wife and children. They are the most special things in the world I tell you.

 

[DeadlyFoez]

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