GBAtemp Writers' Guild

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Lol. Don't I know it - my characters are fully fleshed out in this story, but I just can't make them connect - because one of them has altered mental status and the other seems like a user of people. Maybe I should just write it as an one-sided love thing. :)
 
Hey guys, I got motivated to write again. I've been busy and I'd like your opinions on this next excerpt.



It is the year 200 AV. 200 years after the Earth was completely destroyed and re-forged. AV stands for “After Virtualization”. Let me explain. At one point in time the Earth was in imminent danger. A rouge asteroid had been knocked on course for a full on collision with Earth. The world’s leading scientists tried everything. From deflection, to destruction nothing could alter its course. At this point, Quantum Computing was in its prime. There was a scientist who initially suggested a radical plan. It was a plan that sounded so crazy that it had to work.

The plan was to use the innate qualities of the Universe to create a Quantum cloud of equal size. The first step was to turn the entire Earth into a giant Quantum Computer, then link every denizen to it. At this point, the asteroid was not public knowledge. Once the Earth had been quietly turned into a Quantum Computer, a new video game was released. It was of such size and scope that it required the players to upload themselves into the virtual world. At first it was only the young who went for it. The older people much preferred physical controllers and “old school” methods of gaming. They soon saw the error of their ways and joined the player base.

After step one was completed the next was to make it to where the players could live in the virtual world. This step was completed by making the game a form of addiction. When players were “materialized” they were reminded constantly of their short comings and over time the game became their home on its own. Eventually, there was no one else on Earth. Then step three was initiated.

It was the process of completely disassembling the Earth and dispersing the atoms across the Universe as a base for the cloud. Think of it as a mini Big Bang. The Earth is a Quantum Computer at this point, so once the atoms are dispersed, the atoms were programmed to expand by taking over other atoms and adding them to the cloud. This would eventually expand them across the Universe, not only infinitely expanding the cloud, but also the amount of data that can be stored and manipulated.

As data entities, we never age beyond what we want, we never die, and we can continue to procreate indefinitely. It’s the dawn of another day and we’ve got all the time in the Universe to make the most of it.
 
Reads like a creepypasta, I think. It's an interesting concept because hey, most people are terrified of death or being uploaded into a computer....losing physical form is pretty damn scary.
 
Reads like a creepypasta, I think. It's an interesting concept because hey, most people are terrified of death or being uploaded into a computer....losing physical form is pretty damn scary.
That was kinda the vibe I was going for. Though, I wouldn't mind one bit (lol) personally. At any rate, I'm trying to draw inspirations from animes like Code Lyoko, and Bleach. I'm hoping it'll turn out okay.
 
Hey guys - I've been busy with exams lately, so I've had no time to write. You can expect a fair plethora of stories to make up for it soon though!
 
Hey guys - I've been busy with exams lately, so I've had no time to write. You can expect a fair plethora of stories to make up for it soon though!
Its cool. Not much has been going on here. We've all been busy lately. Please post when you've done some, I look forward to a good read. ;)
 
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Haven't posted here for some time... This is a short poem of mine that was fairly well received on another poetry-related forum I visit.

The Quiet Man
A search for what was never lost
Forgotten,
Maybe…
But remaining
as still as a beating heart is
Pray for not long unnoticed
Or risk abating
to the sounds of lightning strikes
And the shadows they reveal
To the night

Simplicity in truest form
A few words?
More…
To skate the fine line
Between content
and satisfied
If not to elucidate warmth,
then why try?
Why let these words cavort and entice
when such little truth would suffice?
 
That's pretty good Old8oy. Also, a small plug for me. I've begun an RRP (Realistic Roleplay) for Skyrim. It's here. I think it's a good read, and I encourage every one of you who like to play these types of games to try it out. :)
 
Hey guys, I made a revision to my virtual world concept. I'll post it here and you guys let me know how it sounds to everyone.

It is the year 200 AV. 200 years after the Earth was completely destroyed and re-forged as a virtualized quantum network. AV stands for “After Virtualization”. Let me explain. About 250 years ago, the Earth was in incredible danger. It was a disaster that had been predicted time after time Armageddon! Calculations upon calculations were ran though supercomputers. Over and over again the machines predicted our inevitable doom. There was only about 60 years in which to prepare for death. The scientists of the world put their heads together for all mankind, refusing to accept their doom. They couldn’t stop the inevitable. At this point in time, Quantum Computing was in its prime. It was so well developed that even the average citizen had a pocket sized Quantum Computer. One scientist saw a potential solution. Convert the Earth into one giant Quantum Super Computer and connect every citizen to it via a video game. Once everyone was uploaded, blow up the Earth and scatter the resulting Quantum particles to every corner of the Universe. Any matter touched by the particles would automatically be joined with the Earth’s, thus creating a never ending world. The choice was clear after much deliberation; Chance our own destruction, or wait for it.

The plan was quickly started. About 20 years later, the videogame was released. It was quite literally an RPG of massive proportions and complexities. In the game was an exact copy of Earth, though it was not round like the Earth. The governments of the world issued everyone a game ID. Much like a social security number, it allowed you to upload yourself into the game. Another 20 years passed before the entire populace resided within the video game. The only ones left on Earth were a couple leaders of the world and a few leading scientists. It was their job to set the bomb and start the explosion timer. It was set for 10 years in the future, just a couple months before the impending doom arrived.

Its 200 years later and we are data entities, we never age beyond what we want, we never die, and we can continue to procreate indefinitely. It’s the dawn of another day and we’ve got all the time and space in the Universe to make the most of it.


Chapter 1: The New Frontier

The artificial sundown drew to its final conclusion. Soon darkness would engulf the landscape and the stars would come alight. These unexplored rolling hills were uninhabited with the exception of a single man. Appearing in his early twenties he carried a break down bow that was larger than his body, with arrows of bit structs and a light blade. His hair was the color of steel and his eyes a calming shade of blue. He was sitting patiently atop a stump watching the cycle end, deep in thought.

When the sun finally dropped past the horizon, a sight appeared that surpassed any beauty imaginable. Littered across the night sky were the heavenly bodies that man sought so much to fly among. Only back on Earth they were only mere twinkles in the night sky. Here, you could almost touch them. This is beyond anything anyone could ever imagine and Silver never got tired of looking. Lifting his right hand, Silver spoke a single word followed by a simple command, “Light! Come forth and illuminate!”

Streams of silvery light erupted from his fingertips and collected in his palm. The ball of intense light lite up everything as bright as day and allowed Silver to begin to set up camp.
 
So yeah, I made yet another revision to the above concept. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to freaking progress the story. :/ Anyway, I created a group on Facebook designed to share stuff my friends and I write with each other. I was wondering if you guys would like the same with the Guild?

Also, pardon the triple post. :(
 
Application Incoming!
  • Name: MegaAce™
  • I'm mostly into writing short stories.
  • My first language was Russian (being born in Ukraine), now I fluently speak German, but my English is not that bad either. :D
  • Let's say I'm kind of a daily lurker, I don't post that much.
  • I actually started writing about a month ago, grew quite fond of it, already finished about 3 stories. Been planning a longer, novel-like storie, but it ain't that easy.
Here comes the story I wrote first, hope you don't mind the theme (it's nothing abysmally vicious, but I don't wanna spoil a thing.) Here goes:

Jeff's Inferno
The pub had already been closed, but he still stood behind the bar and washed up the dishes. It
was a tedious task to do, nonetheless he enjoyed it. By founding this pub, he also founded a
place where people gather around him, which seemed quite nice to him. He liked people being
around him. He did not want to be alone anymore.

Jeff finished washing up and swept the seats for items people may have forgotten. He walked
up to the entrance, scratching his scruffy beard, thinking of things he might have forgotten.
Jeff remembered, walked into the wardrobe and carried out his coat. It was already getting late.
He stepped outside and locked the door. It was freezing, so Jeff put on his coat. The big
"Neinman's" neon sign illuminated the street where Jeff stood now.

He decided on going for a walk through the district, which was never a good idea to do in the
nighttime, but Jeff didn't care.
It's not that he's careless, Jeff just knew he could defend himself. He already got into some
fights, fights he always won. He walked by the jeweler and took a glance at the rings. He liked
rings, he even wished to get married someday, he just couldn't find the right one. The thoughts
depressing him, he moved along.

Noise. Jeff stopped and looked around, but found nothing. He focused on the direction which
would lead to the source of the noise. He still couldn't make out where it came from, but he
started running into a dim alley.
Jeff didn't know for certain where he was heading, he just had a feeling he knew where the fuss
had to be.

A shady man was standing in front of a building, which seemed to be an old bank, the street
filled with shards of glass. Jeff arrived just in time to stop him.
“You better stop what you were plotting and I’ll leave you off the hook!” Jeff exclaimed without
caution. He didn’t know what he was up to, but he was confident in himself.
The person didn’t seem to care and continued breaking into the bank. Jeff sprinted and
grabbed him, turned him around and punched him in the face.
The burglar stumbled, tripped and fell to the ground. He tried to breathe, but his balaclava was
hindering him. Jeff ripped the mask off his face.
“I know your face. You are a regular at my pub,” Jeff remembered.
“Yeah, so Mr Neinman, what does that change?”, the burglar gasped.
He kicked Jeff’s knee, stood up, came to a halt. Jeff clutched his arm and struck an elbow his
side, which made him stumble again.

“Come on, Jeff, let’s reach a settlement, no? I need the money, I’m getting sick of this town, I
have to get out of here, there’s nothing interesting in here!” he shouted franticly. “Either you
share your fortune with me or I’ll have to rob this bank!”
He reached into his jacket and pulled out a gun and moved near the entrance.
Shit, Jeff thought, but then he realised something.

“So, Jeff. Is it okay to call you Jeff? I think it would be. My name is John, by the way. Don’t do
anything stupid and I’ll let you live, I swear,” he said, still pointing the gun at Jeff. “Just let me
get some money and I’m gone.”
Jeff took a step forward.
“Don’t be silly, I’m pointing a gun at you, a gun, aren’t you even a bit intimidated?” John asked,
waving the gun around.
Jeff took another step.

A gunshot hit Jeff square on his forehead.



Jeff absorbed the bullet. He felt the heat the bullet contained. It was not a bullet made of lead. It
was made of magical flames. John was able to conjure magic. Jeff did not like sorcerers in his
town.

John couldn’t believe his eyes.
“What are you? That bullet should have killed you!” he shouted. He desperately fired another
shot and another, but in vain. Jeff absorbed every single one.
“Why John, why did you choose to come to a town filled with normal people? Do you want to
ruin my work? Is this what you want?”
Jeff grabbed John by his collar and rammed him into a wall. John looked at him, trembling in
fear.

“I know who you really are. You are the Jeff Neinman, or what did you call yourself back then,
the Inferno, am I right? So you’ve been hiding in a pitiful mortal town? What a joke you’ve
become,” John laughed.

Jeff couldn’t hold back his fury. John just made the worst mistake one could ever make when
talking to Jeff, he mentioned his past. Jeff head-butted John, and flames began streaming out
of Jeff’s body.
John couldn’t be saved. He enraged Jeff and he had asked for it. The Inferno wrapped itself
around John. John felt the heat, he was engulfed by the flames. He burned, leaving nothing, not
even ashes.

Jeff called the police and reported a breaking. He did the best he could, he tried to protect the
townspeople from what he despised. Magic. Something that is able to corrupt everyone and
everything. He experienced it himself in the past, but it is over now. Now he seeks redemption
for his deeds.

He returned to his pub, locked the door and went to bed, readying himself for the next day he
could enjoy with the townspeople.


The bold words indicate cursive text, spoilers make all text cursive, so no one would see the difference :lol:
EDIT: Sorry can't figure out the spare spoiler tag.. meh.
 
Welcome Ace, it's a pleasure. We haven't had any new members in quite some time. I like you story by the way, it was interesting and the title matches very well. :D
 
Has anyone written in a while? If you have, I'd be interested in a good read. Also, between the two, which one does everyone think is better?

Prologue


It is the year 24XX. The Earth has been destroyed; its atoms scattered in all directions. The people of Earth now exist on a quantum level in a virtual world. We fled in the face of an apocalypse of grand proportions and risked it all to escape into this world; one of infinite possibilities, one we could potentially live forever in; to expand and build to our heart’s content.


In the year 2195, a leading scientist in the field of quantum computing developed a massively multiplayer online video game titled: “Heroes by Birth”. It wasn’t your typical MMO either as it was meant to serve as a replacement for life on Earth (unbeknownst to us of course). As such, the total explorable space was the exact size of the Earth, with the freedom equal to and surpassing real life. It was astonishing to the entire world since something of this scale had never been attempted before. Even the control scheme was revolutionary. A helmet hooked onto a normal bed with the included scanners would de-atomize your physical body and virtualize it into the game world. It interfaced with your mind and eliminated the physical need for food, water and sleep.


At first people questioned the safety of the device. After all, how safe could it be to have your body and mind disassembled? However after hearing the experiences of the brave people who did use it, more and more people made the jump. Soon the game went free to play and scanners were provided free of charge; many more people joined in. In the year 2222, the governments of the world made the shocking doomsday announcement and revealed the video game to be their solution to the otherwise inevitable doom. They claimed that the Earth was now a giant quantum computer, and would soon be destroyed.


Widespread panic ensued as everyone was issued a login scanner by their respective governments. It soon became evident that this was the harsh truth since no one who logged into the game had come back recently. No one wanted to come back to “reality” since they could live how they wanted in the game. It became a replacement reality, just as real to the players as real life was to those on Earth. People scrambled to get into the game and within weeks, the Earth went silent.

Just one month after the Earth went quiet for good, a massive solar flare erupted from the sun all the way to Jupiter frying everything in its path. The Earth was now a rock that could no longer support life other than what it had stored inside of it. To ensure the continued survival of the human race, an explosive hidden in the moon was triggered by the solar flare. The impact activated a secondary explosive inside the moon that completely atomized the Earth and dispersed the particles in all directions. This way the Earth's computer Terrestria would be able to expand until the Universe's limits had been reached. With that, Humanity had been saved. We now live on in quantum space. forever watching, and forever living.

Chapter 1: The Chest, and an Old Friend

Exploration log 200, Year: 24XX, October – Silver

Today I discovered a high level mine. The primary mineral was Orichalcum, and there also seemed to be some Diamond and Ruby in the ore veins. A quick reference denoted that the asking price for this information was high. Some people were even offering complete weapons and enchantments for just the information to the location.

The reward for mapping the entire mine and area is also equally sought after. Bestiary and drop tables are about what is expected. Tomorrow I will begin the exploration and mapping procedures.

I’m especially surprised. This place isn’t even outside of the solar system. This area was thought to be mapped in entirety over 100 years ago. I expect great things soon.
End of log # 200

I snapped the E-journal shut and engaged the lock. “Whew!” I sighed. “I’m going to have my work cut out for me tomorrow. I’m a lazy guy, but this is just too much potential pay to pass up.”

The sky was tinted with an orange hue. It was reminiscent of the sunset on Earth. It’s been just over 200 years since I last saw the real sunset. The trade-off is worth it though, as the night sky is just beautiful out here. As I remembered the past, the watch on my wrist beeped, signaling the imminent sun down. Three minutes to go.

In a short time, the sun finally dipped past the horizon. The light faded into the west, and the night sky slowly took over from the east. Instead of just the small twinkling lights you saw on Earth, you could now see the celestial bodies in all their glory, sometimes you’re so close you could practically touch them. Just when I least expected it, a sudden harsh noise from my wrist watch brought me back down to Terrestria.

Snapping out of my stupor, I grabbed my bow and quiver of arrows from the nearby rock I’d set them on. Monsters were about! Suddenly a roar split the air and a four legged animal crested the hill. Distinctly feline, it resembled a lion, no; a quick glance told me it was a sabre cat. It seemed I was encroaching on their territory, and they decided I’d make an easy target.

I beat a quick retreat over the hill. My mind worked at top speed. Their weakness was a simple one that most savage animals possessed; the fear of fire. I quickly weaved a weak fire enchantment into the air with the tip of my finger. Then I slapped it onto the ground. That’s only half the spell, to complete it I drew three inscribable arrows from my quiver and drove them into the ground. It would take a minute for the fire magic to imbue the arrows, so I readied another spell weave. This time it was a weak physical ward.

Against this low tier mob, this rudimentary ward should last long enough. The first cat crested the hill. Then two others followed. Just then, the night cycle began completely. With little time to appreciate the scenery, the monsters attacked!

One, two, three! Flurries of quick attacks were one after another suppressed by the magical ward. Soon the cats exhausted themselves. Luckily they stopped the attack right before the ward reached its limit and forcefully deteriorated. A plume of smoke billowed from the arrows in the circle signaling that they were ready.

I pulled the first from the ground and nocked it into the bow. Pulling it back to its full draw, I took only a second to aim at the monster behind the others that was the leader. A second later, the shaft was sticking out from between its eyes and suddenly burst into flame. Instantly the monster was incinerated by the intense inferno and collapsed into a pile of charred bones and smoldering ashes. Surprised by the heat and light of the flames, the cats turned to look at their fallen leader. By the time the other two cats figured out what had happened, the other two arrows were sticking out of them as well. Soon they were reduced to the same state as their leader was; a pile of smoldering nothing.

A quick look at the remains revealed nothing of value. The flames had reduced the only valuable pieces they had to ashes. Oh well, their items wouldn't have been worth much anyway, though it’s kind of odd that such small time monsters would be near such a high level mine. After a short bout of speculation, I decided to put up my claim. I wouldn’t want a dispute to happen.

It took but a second to weave the complex magical sign in my palm that was my unique identifier. It was a longbow with a quiver leaning against a rock with a cave off to the left. In the bottom right of the picture, my initials were carved, “SS” otherwise known as, “Silva Shimmer”. I completed the ritual by ramming my palm into the rock face to the right of the cave entrance. A noticeable glimmering mark was left, completing the meaning of my last name. Rummaging in my pack, I pulled out a fresh torch.

Chapter 1: Old Friends and New Mysteries

The Sun hung low on the horizon. Evening was just hitting its stride and the hues of reds and yellows fit perfectly over the grassy plains of Holtheim. Near the edge of the plains to the south the craggy wastes of the Narrows lay. That is the destination of Silver whom we find at the foot of the only tree in leagues practicing his marksmanship.

Thunk! The dull thud of an arrow into wood punctuated the otherwise silent plains. Four other shafts lay deep in the wood, each one of them within the center of a crudely drawn target in white paint. A fifth shaft stood at ready on the string of a bow that was as large as Silver himself. Bent into a crescent that could rival the waning moon, the energy of the bow was expended all at once. The shaft stood in the center of the four other arrows, completing the pattern of the fifth side of a die.

With large strides, Silver strode up to the tree with quickness not unlike that of a world class athlete. With deft movements, he plucked the shafts from the tree. Each of them buried at least halfway up the shaft. Briefly looking them over for damage he slid each of them back into their proper compartment in his quiver. Broadheads, quilltips and his special drill tips were each held in their own separate area of the quiver. The arrows he replaced were quilltips. They are meant for hunting small game and precision shooting. The broadheads are a much weightier arrow meant for large game and other violence. The drillheads are meant for affixing lengths of line to different surfaces. Utilizing grooves on the sides, the arrow is spun like a bullet through the rifled barrel of a gun.

Flexing his muscles, Silver slung the bow over his shoulder and began walking in the direction of the Narrows. The location of a mysterious mine there had been entailed in a diary of a long deceased prospector who had died of a then common disease in his care. That was about 200 years ago, before healing magic had made the proper advancements. Such musings only briefly crossed his mind as the Sun finally dipped past the horizon and the deep red slowly gave way to the night sky.

Almost directly over Silver’s head, the huge gas giant Jupiter loomed. It was a rare sight that never ceased to amaze him. He briefly recalled looking at the giant through the small lens of a rudimentary telescope back on Earth. It has since then gained much more grandeur. Suddenly an unpleasant sound reached his ears. Distinctly feline it sounded like a tiger. The loud rustles in the nearby grass confirmed the animals were rather large.

Silver stopped; his keen ears taking in every noise. There were three in total; two were closing in rapidly and the third was keeping its distance. That one was probably the leader of the pack. Thinking quickly, he grabbed two broadhead arrows from the quiver and searched the nearby area for the driest grass he could find, his mind racing at top speed. “Almost every wild beast share the same fear of fire, so I’ll use it to my advantage!” He thought.

Finding what he wanted, he made a couple basic torches with the arrows, and broke out into a sprint towards the Narrows, the pack at his side banged into him on every step. He had to make the crags otherwise he’d be fresh meat. Pulling his magical lighter from his pocket, he put the flame to the first torch. By his estimations, he’d have 3 minutes of light each before the fuel was exhausted, only briefly berating himself for not grabbing some green tender to extend the torch’s life. Those thoughts went up in the torch’s vivid smoky blaze.

He had almost gone half a mile before the topsoil of the plains gave way to the hard rocky soil of the Narrows. Soon less and less grass populated the edges of the torch light and the ground sloped up and up. The frantic roars of his feline pursuers gradually fade into the calm of night and the light of the first torch grew feeble and thin. Silver’s estimations were off by about a minute. The torch lasted for four.

Now that his pursuers were long gone; off to find easier prey. Silver began his ascent by the light of the half moon. The treacherous twists and turns of the Narrows soon proved too much for travel by the faint light. So his magical lighter was yet again put to good use. The open flame served as a decent light source for the slow travel. The last torch would be better used if saved for emergencies.

Carefully picking his way across the rocky maze, he came to a large natural opening. Scratched next to it was an ominous skull and crossbones symbol that indicated danger. It looked to be what he was looking for. Silver pulled a battered hard covered diary from the small pack at his side. The crude drawing in the earliest pages confirmed his suspicions.

Ever the cautious one, he decided to wait until dawn to head back to Holtheim for more torch material. The dangers of the cave were very real and rumored to be deadly. Despite the fact that he has lived for over 250 years, Silver is incredibly attached to his life which could still be suddenly taken from him.
 
Hey guys... Erm, been a while, huh? Our internet... well, I don't even want to think about our internet. Basically, it's gone. I'm using a USB thingy right now, so limited time/connectivity...

But enough about that...

I decided not to do NaNoWriMo this year. Too much to do, plus without reliable internet, I can't research as freely as I want to. Urgh. Overall, my writing's ground to a halt for the nonce.

PS

Since this is such a downer post...

Happy Thanksgiving to y'all.
 
Hey guys... Erm, been a while, huh? Our internet... well, I don't even want to think about our internet. Basically, it's gone. I'm using a USB thingy right now, so limited time/connectivity...

But enough about that...

I decided not to do NaNoWriMo this year. Too much to do, plus without reliable internet, I can't research as freely as I want to. Urgh. Overall, my writing's ground to a halt for the nonce.

PS

Since this is such a downer post...

Happy Thanksgiving to y'all.
Holy crap. I thought you were dead. Glad to see you're still here. I didn't even know what a NaNoWriMo is, nor do I fully grasp it now. How's your novel doing?
 
Holy crap. I thought you were dead. Glad to see you're still here. I didn't even know what a NaNoWriMo is, nor do I fully grasp it now. How's your novel doing?

A Shinigami can't just up and die, don't worry. ::D

NaNoWriMo is a writing challenge, every November. Basically 50k words = 30 days. It's [kind of] torturous, though...

As for my novel... Well, I'm still kicking around some concepts for the 2nd draft which I'm about to rewrite, by the looks of things. I mentioned a while back that it kind of felt clipped and whatnot. Also, I'm expanding the narrative, and trying to figure out how to fit all the additions/edits in with the existing story without retconning everything [erm, just search "retcon" in tvtropes or something] is hellish. It's... quite confusing really.

On the flipside, I'm having quite a number of ideas for my other stories.

PS

After I'm done with breakfast, I'll read the stuff that's been posted since I left. Cheers, guys.
 
A Shinigami can't just up and die, don't worry. ::D

NaNoWriMo is a writing challenge, every November. Basically 50k words = 30 days. It's [kind of] torturous, though...

As for my novel... Well, I'm still kicking around some concepts for the 2nd draft which I'm about to rewrite, by the looks of things. I mentioned a while back that it kind of felt clipped and whatnot. Also, I'm expanding the narrative, and trying to figure out how to fit all the additions/edits in with the existing story without retconning everything [erm, just search "retcon" in tvtropes or something] is hellish. It's... quite confusing really.

On the flipside, I'm having quite a number of ideas for my other stories.

PS

After I'm done with breakfast, I'll read the stuff that's been posted since I left. Cheers, guys.
Cool stuff, check out my FictionPress in my Sig for what I have. I haven't posted it here in a while. >.>
 
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