funny stuff

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tinymonkeyt

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so in class, our teach hands out this packet
and it has all these like mistakes people made in like essays
and its frickin hilarious.

so i wanted to share some with you guys cuz laughter is the best medicine :]
some are not as funny as others but yeah, enjoyy

(from essays)
When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire

H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars

The moon is a planet just like the sun, except deader

artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull (LOL)

The body consists of three parts- the brainuim, the borax, and the abominable cavity. the brainium consists of the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five- a, e, i, o ,u

germinate: to become a naturalized german

to remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose

for a nosebleed: put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops

for drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration (LOL. THE IMAGERY ON THAT ONE)

for fainting: rub the person's chest, or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor

(from test answers)
ancient egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. they lived in the sarah dessert. the climate of the sarah dessert is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere

the bible is full of interesting caricatures. in the first book of the bible, guinessis, adam and eve were created from an apple tree. one of their children, cain, asked "am i my brothers son?"

solomon had 3 hundred wives and 7 hundred porcupines

julius caeser extinguished himself on the battlefields of gaul. the Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. dying, he gasped out "tee hee, brutus"

writing at the same time as shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. he wrote Donkey Hote. the next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. The his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained (hahaha)

lol well there's quite a few more. ill post them later if you guys want.
 
Some of these are just hilarious
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Thanks for this, tinyt
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@ Law. of course. you havent even seen the rest of these. pure geniuses.

it was an age of great inventions and discoveries. gutenburg invented removable type and the Bible. another important invention was the circulation of blood. sir walter raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. and sir francis drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. thomas jefferson, a Virigin, and benjamin franklin were two singers of the declaration of independece. franklin discovered electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared, "a horse divided itself cannot stand." franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

abraham lincoln became amercia's greatest precedent. lincoln's mother died in infancy and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. abraham lincoln freed the slaves by signing the emasculation proclamation. on the night of april 14, 1865, lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actos in a moving picture show. the believed assinator was john wilkes booth, a supposingly insane actor. this ruined booth's career.
 
tinymonkeyt said:
franklin discovered electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared, "a horse divided itself cannot stand." franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

abraham lincoln became amercia's greatest precedent. lincoln's mother died in infancy and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands.

Both of those actually made me laugh, even though I have no idea what they're about.

[/ignorance]
 
My friends are kinda like that, except their spelling and grammar is awful. It was as if a grade 5 wrote it... As an example, here's one of the things I remember from one of my friend's essays.

" She was good looking was like a superstar. In his dream, she was standing there with a big huge wall of men around her."

Yet, his teacher gave him A, even though his work was so awful, my friends and I couldn't stop making fun of it. His teacher was probably the easiest teacher to get marks off of, since it was her first time teaching..... Lucky bastard..
 

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