Corrupt a wish!

[Hydreigon]

Granted, he fetches you a muffin from a parallel universe.

I wish for a pet apple.

 

[LunaWofl]

Granted, but you have to walk apple employees everyday~

I wish they could do tricks

 

[Hydreigon]

Granted. Look at this trick I taught them~
*apple proceeds to sue other pets*

;O;

I wish for my pet apple to stop showing off its trick

 

[LunaWofl]

Granted, it now does it privately~

I wish for apple to sit ;O;

 

[Hydreigon]

Granted. It's sitting in a courtroom~

I wish apple knew more tricks worth showing off...

 

[LunaWofl]

Granted, but they all stall other pets~

I wish for a bunny...

 

[Hydreigon]

Granted, but it tears up your garden

I wish for a pet snake~

 

[LunaWofl]

Granted, but it eats it's own tail...

I wish mine hadn't eaten itself >_

 

[Hydreigon]

Granted, it eats another snake eating a snake eating your snake

I wish my hamsters didn't die in the most strangest ways...

 

[LunaWofl]

Granted, they now died from hunger

I wish to know more about the circumstances of your hampster's deaths...

 

[Hydreigon]

Granted.

Spoiler

One had its leg bitten off while I was sleeping. It bled out and died in the morning.

Three died from fighting each other to the death a few weeks later.

Two got extremely sick and died.

Two died from unknown causes...I found their carcasses half eaten the next day.

The remaining three survivors passed away with age (they have a lifespan of 2-3 years)

One thing I noticed: all of them except for the survivors died when I was asleep...

I wish I wasn't so unlucky with my pets D:

 

[LunaWofl]

Granted... but now your pets aren't werehamsters...

I wish you had more hamsters ._.

 

[Hydreigon]

Granted, but they all die in the exact same ways as my previous ones D:

I wish my pets weren't so prone to these type of things...

 

[LunaWofl]

Granted, they are now prone to eating the flesh of other animals

I wish I could teach my pets to say "brains"

 

[Hydreigon]

Granted, but they also learn to say "penis"

I wish to teach my pets how to kick someone in the balls~

 

[LunaWofl]

Granted, but they're too short D:

I wish for a step ladder.

 

[Hydreigon]

Granted. I shall use it to assist my pets in kicking someone in the balls.

I wish for a cup of coffee that's not decaf :/

 

[LunaWofl]

Granted, but it's heavily diluted

I wish for the world's strongest coffee

 

[nukeboy95]

Granted, this cup of coffee can lift 5 hole pounds

i wish to fly

 

[LunaWofl]

Granted, but you can only do so for 3 seconds at a time

I wish gravity wasn't so heartless :/