Basically that despite sacrificing my own well being for everyone else most of my life, now that my body's broken, no one's really taking care of me. Try to get my knees fixed, either I'm too young, insurance moves the goal posts, or doctors don't want to take a chance because my medical history. Try to find comfort in various things only for the hobbies to be ruined for me. Used to collect WWE figures but exclusives and scalpers ruined it. Same with Pokemon cards, and now game consoles. I told the story about how not just 22 years in the Xbox ecosystem and posted the idea to include the X25 with Campaign Evolved yet I couldn't even ORDER one. Same with the PS5 Anniversary Pro but that stung less as I got the Edge controller and the plates from AliExpress. Had a Playstation in the house from launch at my cousin's house when I stayed with my aunt for a few years and bought my own in 1998. Yet, I wasn't deemed worthy to order one then either by Sony. I've had to fight to stay alive all my forty years though trauma, abuse, losing those I love, having people use me, slander me, etc. Worst part of it all is having "Cassandra Curse" and "Caretaker Curse" at the same time. But yet no matter how much I try to escape them, I can't. Not anything in my own control anyways.