Lali ho!
As you may know, I've taken the plunge recently and invested in a gym membership. The reason is simple, years of stress and crap food have left me with more stomachs than any man is entitled to, so I resolved to trade them in for store credit with God in the form of a few more years without a cheese-induced heart attack. What disturbs me though is how many empty machines there are at my gym every day. I see some real colossi waddling around the city with that walk that only feels right when accompanied by a tuba, yet I never see them in there despite them being in much more dire need of the treadmill than me. I'm in that 'chunky, better get this looked at' phase of fat instead of the 'could body double for the boulder in Raiders of the Lost Ark' phase. It's not all that expensive to join my gym. £25 a month gets me unlimited access to two full gyms, both swimming pools, all the classes are free except any run by outside contractors like the karate classes, my own personal trainer and a complete work-up and exercise plan drawn up and checked every few weeks to make sure I'm doing well. Seems like a bargain to me.
I'm not saying losing weight is easy and that it's for everyone. For a start, healthy food is disturbingly more expensive than anything with flavour. Vegetables are concrete proof that even God has no fucking imagination some days. Thousands of different vegetables, none of them taste of anything. I reckon he used all his original thoughts making bacon and was just winging it when he made potatoes. Then he realised he'd fucked up by making the boring stuff healthy and hid them in the ground hoping we wouldn't notice. Kind of like when he made Justin Bieber, realized that he should never create while high as a kite, and hid him in some backwater town in Canada hoping nobody would notice.
But it seems to me that people who openly acknowledge that they need to lose a few pounds, which let's be honest is probably the a pretty high percentage of people, is relatively low. So what are your thoughts? Do you think you need to shed a few pounds? Do you go to a gym or get any regular exercise (masturbation does not count), and if so what do you do to keep fit? Do you eat healthy food or have you developed a stomach that could be painted grey and go cosplaying as the Death Star? Are you prepared to sacrifice the one true gift that is bacon if it means you won't die in your thirties?
So, thoughts? Opinions? Meme pictures (can't expect everyone to have original thoughts)?
As you may know, I've taken the plunge recently and invested in a gym membership. The reason is simple, years of stress and crap food have left me with more stomachs than any man is entitled to, so I resolved to trade them in for store credit with God in the form of a few more years without a cheese-induced heart attack. What disturbs me though is how many empty machines there are at my gym every day. I see some real colossi waddling around the city with that walk that only feels right when accompanied by a tuba, yet I never see them in there despite them being in much more dire need of the treadmill than me. I'm in that 'chunky, better get this looked at' phase of fat instead of the 'could body double for the boulder in Raiders of the Lost Ark' phase. It's not all that expensive to join my gym. £25 a month gets me unlimited access to two full gyms, both swimming pools, all the classes are free except any run by outside contractors like the karate classes, my own personal trainer and a complete work-up and exercise plan drawn up and checked every few weeks to make sure I'm doing well. Seems like a bargain to me.
I'm not saying losing weight is easy and that it's for everyone. For a start, healthy food is disturbingly more expensive than anything with flavour. Vegetables are concrete proof that even God has no fucking imagination some days. Thousands of different vegetables, none of them taste of anything. I reckon he used all his original thoughts making bacon and was just winging it when he made potatoes. Then he realised he'd fucked up by making the boring stuff healthy and hid them in the ground hoping we wouldn't notice. Kind of like when he made Justin Bieber, realized that he should never create while high as a kite, and hid him in some backwater town in Canada hoping nobody would notice.
But it seems to me that people who openly acknowledge that they need to lose a few pounds, which let's be honest is probably the a pretty high percentage of people, is relatively low. So what are your thoughts? Do you think you need to shed a few pounds? Do you go to a gym or get any regular exercise (masturbation does not count), and if so what do you do to keep fit? Do you eat healthy food or have you developed a stomach that could be painted grey and go cosplaying as the Death Star? Are you prepared to sacrifice the one true gift that is bacon if it means you won't die in your thirties?
So, thoughts? Opinions? Meme pictures (can't expect everyone to have original thoughts)?
