Greetings, Temp!
Well, I promised you all a blog, so here we go. I can't for the life of me find the Blogs section, so I'm posting it here. If there is still a Blogs area, feel free to move it there. There’s a lot to get through, so I hope you’ll make like Yogi and bear with me. It’s been a while since I posted so a lot has changed. In fact, pretty much everything has changed. So without further ado, here’s the latest news from the crazy rollercoaster that is my life.
The last time I blogged, I was in a bit of a bind. I was dating a young lady that for legal reasons I can’t name as I seem to get in trouble for it, more on that later, but for the time being we’ll call her....Wraith. Makes sense. Soul sucking heartless creature of the night and all that. Long story. Well, I was helping her deal with a legal case against a man she accused of raping her. I know heavy stuff. But that’s kinda where I’m at my best. The case ground to a halt because the sequence of events didn’t add up, so it was dismissed. I’m still fairly sure he did it, but she took the dismissal pretty badly and long story short, we’re no longer together and she’s refusing to give me back my stuff, including the extremely rare and valuable limited edition ‘Toad’ pattern 3DS system. Hence her new nickname.
I’m still in the hostel as well, as I was meant to be getting a flat with a friend of mine. But after I spent weeks arranging everything, we discovered that on the day my funding finally cleared, the estate agent sold it to someone else, even though I’d put a deposit down on the place. I got the money back in the end after the threat of legal action, but we’ve been unable to find another place as of yet. But said friend has proven himself to be utterly butterly useless, so I’m thinking it’s probably better he doesn’t live with me. All he cares about lately is playing Pokemon. He’s not even looking for work any more.
On top of all that, the stress of it all aggravated my heart problem. For those that don’t know, I was stabbed in the chest six years ago rescuing my friend Amelia from a gang rape, and though my death proved only a temporary setback, it shredded one of my heart valves, which obviously had to be replaced. My blood pressure goes sky high when I’m stressed, which triggers the synaesthesia I have from another injury to my eye, and when it gets as bad as it did over Christmas, it causes the replacement heart valve to basically weaken and eventually fail, hence why I collapsed and had to be rushed into hospital for emergency surgery over Christmas and died temporarily for the third time to date. Still didn’t finish me off for good though. Starting to think the Grim Reaper’s heart’s just not in his work these days.
However, as with every blog involving my life, to every downside must come the silver lining. I’m well known for pulling something my friends call the Phoenix Manoeuvre, in which all hope seems lost and I suddenly turn everything around, rising like a phoenix from the ashes, more powerful than ever. This tale is no exception, so here’s the frankly epic silver lining to it all.
You may have noticed that from time to time I mention a friend of mine, a girl in New Zealand that I do not refer to by name. She’s an old companion of mine from where I once lived in Belper. She means a lot to me and is in every regard the ‘girl that got away’, as I had always meant to ask her out. After all, she’s smart, funny, beautiful, and always makes me smile, no matter how dark my days are. I refrained from asking her out for several reasons, notably that I had a wealth of family problems at the time I felt it would be unfair to lump her with, and also she’s 3 years younger than me. Not an issue now as she’s 22 and I’m 25, but back when e met all those years ago she was only 13. Dating a 16 year old would have caused her a few societal problems. Also I’m fairly sure that’s illegal. So I decided, stupidly I might add, to bide my time and wait until my family troubles settled down so I could tell her how I felt, as it was fairly obvious how she felt about me. Ever had a girl follow you around and blush every time you speak to her? Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. And even if it did, I happen to be one.
Unfortunately we never got that chance. My family troubles got so bad I was forced to leave, and when I finally returned to find her again, I discovered that her family had taken her to New Zealand, literally as far away from me as she can get. Ain’t life a bitch? Still, we’ve kept in touch via Facebook and the like all these years and grown closer and closer. I even sent her a silver angel wing pendant for Valentine’s Day a few years ago as I knew she was lonely and miserable. Even wrote a little poem in there for her. It’s generally accepted by all who know us that if the distance wasn’t an issue that we’d be together.
Well, despite having troubles of her own which I regrettably cannot discuss at this time, she still worries terribly about me. My recent trip to hospital was enough to make us both realise, with a little help from some old friends, that we’re still crazy about each other, always have been. Even when I was dating Wraith, I’d still think of her all the time. It’s been ten years since we met, eight since we last crossed paths, and the bond between us is still unbreakable. And so we finally cleared the matter up for good and admitted out feelings to each other. She’s still in New Zealand, but it made me think. Frankly I have very little worth remaining in this country for. She’s flat out said that if I were ever to drop by for a visit, she’d never let me go. So...I intend to let her.
It’s early days yet and there are still innumerable issues with practicality to resolve, but the fact is that I’m never happy unless she’s by my side. She worries about me constantly and missed me every day, as I miss her and worry for her. The solution is obvious. There are ways around the practical problems, most of which I’ve got well under control. I’ll be going out for a visit soon, and whether I return or not is basically up to her. If everything goes to plan and she wants me to stay, I’ll stay. She flat out said on Facebook that she’d be distraught if she ever lost me, she’d not be able to cope. Fact is that I’ve been distraught since I discovered she was gone. I’ve cursed every moment of my life since then for not saying what I needed to say all those years ago. It’s odd. Put a sword in my hand and I’ll fight with the courage of a hero and the strength of a demon. Put a pretty girl in front of me and I’m like the cat from Red Dwarf. Tongue Tied.
In other news, I have a job interview on Wednesday for a decent new job path. It’s not what I really want to do with my time, but it pays the bills and allows me to save up the frankly ludicrous amounts of capitol I need to visit my sweetheart on the far side of the world. I’ve run the numbers and assuming I get it (there are ten spots available and twelve people coming. I’ll want a damn fine reason why if I don’t get the job) it’ll take roughly 3 months of saving to raise enough to go see her. I can cut that in half if Wraith remembers that she was at one point a decent human being and returns my 3DS. Sell that and it’s half my ticket paid for.
So....yeah, it’s a funny old world. It took us ten years to finally pluck up the courage, but things are finally working out. Just goes to show that nothing’s impossible. The key is to follow your heart, no matter the odds. The thought of her watching over me the way she does is enough to empower me to the point where I can shrug off damn near anything. It was through those thoughts that I was able to recover from my recent heart problems. So if I have any advice to give you, from a man who’s shrugged off even death itself, it’s to look deep within your heart, find that one thing that means the most to you in the world, and fight for it against all the odds. It may seem impossible, but the truth is that nothing is impossible. I’m living proof.
Hoping you can all follow your hearts too.
Blaze.
Well, I promised you all a blog, so here we go. I can't for the life of me find the Blogs section, so I'm posting it here. If there is still a Blogs area, feel free to move it there. There’s a lot to get through, so I hope you’ll make like Yogi and bear with me. It’s been a while since I posted so a lot has changed. In fact, pretty much everything has changed. So without further ado, here’s the latest news from the crazy rollercoaster that is my life.
The last time I blogged, I was in a bit of a bind. I was dating a young lady that for legal reasons I can’t name as I seem to get in trouble for it, more on that later, but for the time being we’ll call her....Wraith. Makes sense. Soul sucking heartless creature of the night and all that. Long story. Well, I was helping her deal with a legal case against a man she accused of raping her. I know heavy stuff. But that’s kinda where I’m at my best. The case ground to a halt because the sequence of events didn’t add up, so it was dismissed. I’m still fairly sure he did it, but she took the dismissal pretty badly and long story short, we’re no longer together and she’s refusing to give me back my stuff, including the extremely rare and valuable limited edition ‘Toad’ pattern 3DS system. Hence her new nickname.
I’m still in the hostel as well, as I was meant to be getting a flat with a friend of mine. But after I spent weeks arranging everything, we discovered that on the day my funding finally cleared, the estate agent sold it to someone else, even though I’d put a deposit down on the place. I got the money back in the end after the threat of legal action, but we’ve been unable to find another place as of yet. But said friend has proven himself to be utterly butterly useless, so I’m thinking it’s probably better he doesn’t live with me. All he cares about lately is playing Pokemon. He’s not even looking for work any more.
On top of all that, the stress of it all aggravated my heart problem. For those that don’t know, I was stabbed in the chest six years ago rescuing my friend Amelia from a gang rape, and though my death proved only a temporary setback, it shredded one of my heart valves, which obviously had to be replaced. My blood pressure goes sky high when I’m stressed, which triggers the synaesthesia I have from another injury to my eye, and when it gets as bad as it did over Christmas, it causes the replacement heart valve to basically weaken and eventually fail, hence why I collapsed and had to be rushed into hospital for emergency surgery over Christmas and died temporarily for the third time to date. Still didn’t finish me off for good though. Starting to think the Grim Reaper’s heart’s just not in his work these days.
However, as with every blog involving my life, to every downside must come the silver lining. I’m well known for pulling something my friends call the Phoenix Manoeuvre, in which all hope seems lost and I suddenly turn everything around, rising like a phoenix from the ashes, more powerful than ever. This tale is no exception, so here’s the frankly epic silver lining to it all.
You may have noticed that from time to time I mention a friend of mine, a girl in New Zealand that I do not refer to by name. She’s an old companion of mine from where I once lived in Belper. She means a lot to me and is in every regard the ‘girl that got away’, as I had always meant to ask her out. After all, she’s smart, funny, beautiful, and always makes me smile, no matter how dark my days are. I refrained from asking her out for several reasons, notably that I had a wealth of family problems at the time I felt it would be unfair to lump her with, and also she’s 3 years younger than me. Not an issue now as she’s 22 and I’m 25, but back when e met all those years ago she was only 13. Dating a 16 year old would have caused her a few societal problems. Also I’m fairly sure that’s illegal. So I decided, stupidly I might add, to bide my time and wait until my family troubles settled down so I could tell her how I felt, as it was fairly obvious how she felt about me. Ever had a girl follow you around and blush every time you speak to her? Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. And even if it did, I happen to be one.
Unfortunately we never got that chance. My family troubles got so bad I was forced to leave, and when I finally returned to find her again, I discovered that her family had taken her to New Zealand, literally as far away from me as she can get. Ain’t life a bitch? Still, we’ve kept in touch via Facebook and the like all these years and grown closer and closer. I even sent her a silver angel wing pendant for Valentine’s Day a few years ago as I knew she was lonely and miserable. Even wrote a little poem in there for her. It’s generally accepted by all who know us that if the distance wasn’t an issue that we’d be together.
Well, despite having troubles of her own which I regrettably cannot discuss at this time, she still worries terribly about me. My recent trip to hospital was enough to make us both realise, with a little help from some old friends, that we’re still crazy about each other, always have been. Even when I was dating Wraith, I’d still think of her all the time. It’s been ten years since we met, eight since we last crossed paths, and the bond between us is still unbreakable. And so we finally cleared the matter up for good and admitted out feelings to each other. She’s still in New Zealand, but it made me think. Frankly I have very little worth remaining in this country for. She’s flat out said that if I were ever to drop by for a visit, she’d never let me go. So...I intend to let her.
It’s early days yet and there are still innumerable issues with practicality to resolve, but the fact is that I’m never happy unless she’s by my side. She worries about me constantly and missed me every day, as I miss her and worry for her. The solution is obvious. There are ways around the practical problems, most of which I’ve got well under control. I’ll be going out for a visit soon, and whether I return or not is basically up to her. If everything goes to plan and she wants me to stay, I’ll stay. She flat out said on Facebook that she’d be distraught if she ever lost me, she’d not be able to cope. Fact is that I’ve been distraught since I discovered she was gone. I’ve cursed every moment of my life since then for not saying what I needed to say all those years ago. It’s odd. Put a sword in my hand and I’ll fight with the courage of a hero and the strength of a demon. Put a pretty girl in front of me and I’m like the cat from Red Dwarf. Tongue Tied.
In other news, I have a job interview on Wednesday for a decent new job path. It’s not what I really want to do with my time, but it pays the bills and allows me to save up the frankly ludicrous amounts of capitol I need to visit my sweetheart on the far side of the world. I’ve run the numbers and assuming I get it (there are ten spots available and twelve people coming. I’ll want a damn fine reason why if I don’t get the job) it’ll take roughly 3 months of saving to raise enough to go see her. I can cut that in half if Wraith remembers that she was at one point a decent human being and returns my 3DS. Sell that and it’s half my ticket paid for.
So....yeah, it’s a funny old world. It took us ten years to finally pluck up the courage, but things are finally working out. Just goes to show that nothing’s impossible. The key is to follow your heart, no matter the odds. The thought of her watching over me the way she does is enough to empower me to the point where I can shrug off damn near anything. It was through those thoughts that I was able to recover from my recent heart problems. So if I have any advice to give you, from a man who’s shrugged off even death itself, it’s to look deep within your heart, find that one thing that means the most to you in the world, and fight for it against all the odds. It may seem impossible, but the truth is that nothing is impossible. I’m living proof.
Hoping you can all follow your hearts too.
Blaze.
