Cheers again here is the website
http://www.r4i-sdhc.com/downloade.asp the card I have is the one at the top cant seem to see anything about 3ds firmware compatability,you seem knowlagable do you think it will be safe to update sorry for the noob questions just dont want to screw up my daughters games as she would not be best pleased thanks alot.
PS Told you im a noob lol it states the firmware in yellow so it should be fine im guessing.
The firmware in yellow is that of the kernel/loader; it has nothing to do with the bootloader's firmware. The kernel/loader loads up the flashcart and allows booting of homebrews/roms.
The bootloader is what you want updated to make it work on the latest 3ds fw. Updating the kernel/loader won't update the bootloader, so be careful about it.
Here are the instructions on updating the bootloader (taken from the page you linked me to):