*Press* (Did he just say what I think...?) Taleweaver, what you said is very important. Please add it to your testimony!
*Present Reggie Interview* Mr. Taleweaver... Let me ask you a question. In your previous testimony you said, "third party support is shit". Recall the statement we heard earlier from the first witness. "If you look at the other two competitive platforms,
fundamentally, what’s the difference?" Taleweaver! Your Wii U doesn't get as much use as your PC because
you're refusing to play exclusive Nintendo games! In other words...
You are the reason the Wii U is struggling on the market!
*Courtroom turned into a chaos*
Judge: Order! Order! ORDEEEERRRR!!!
wtf? Is console/PC polygamy a crime now?
Ahem...
*me*: *hides head within hands* It is true. I confess. I'm secretly one of those "PC master race"-kind of gamers. Oh, I wish it wasn't so, but it is...
*Press* *GASP* Is the allegation that you have a huge steam library correct?
*me*: it is...exhibit A is absolutely correct. I have more PC games legally purchased than there are games in the wiiu library. Mea culpa! Mea culpa! I have renounced the joys of my youth. I can't but ask for forgiveness...
*Reggie*: but why?! We created a top quality Mario platformer as launch title. Then a 3D'ish Mario game. Then some Mario party games. And a Mario kart game. And a Mario brawler! Why are you making our little console struggle on the market when we provide so much variety?
*me*: I...I...*sigh*...I have no excuse. Please understand that I like PC games more than console games.
*Judge*: would you mind explaining why you happen to HAVE a wiiu in your house, then? With an above-average gaming library no less?
*me*: ...I guess I cannot refuse to comment, can't I?
*Judge*: no, mr. Taleweaver. You are under oath. And be glad we won't be asking questions about your sexual fantasies...
*me*: okay...okay. I do have a wiiu. I...keep it to attract girls.
*Press*: excuse us? Did you just say...
*me*: ah, hell! You all heard it. Yes, I keep it to attract girls. Women my age grew up with nintendo products. They love Mario. And while I hope I can pervert them into the realms of REAL gaming, there is nothing like a smooth Mario game to get nice and cozy on the couch next to a beautiful women. That makes sure my body is ready...
*further chaos*