The Tell-A-Joke Thread

[IncredulousP]

few red Spots.

 

[Ghost]

I thought they were pretty common.

 

[Alexander1970]

A Man wakes up in the Hospital and yells:
"Doctor, I can not feel my Legs anymore!"

Doctor:
"I know, I also amputated your Arms!"

 

[RedoLane]

A guy walks into a sweets cafe. The waiter gives him the menu. The guy thought he looks pretty young for a waiter.
After considering what to order, he asks the waiter to give him a small plate of ice cream balls, one of vanilla, one of chocolate, and one of cherry.
the waiter asks the guy to wait a little before his order arrives.

After 5 minutes, the waiter arrives with a small plate of ice cream balls. Before the guy could eat the ice cream in peace, he noticed something is missing.
He asked the waiter: "But where's the spoon? I can't eat a plate of ice cream without a spoon".
The waiter stared at him for a few seconds, only to respond with: "There is no spoon."

Turns out that guy accidentally entered the Matrix, and there's no turning back.

 

[Veho]

The waiter stared at him for a few seconds, only to respond with: "There is no spoon."

"There is ligma, though."

 

[Alexander1970]

What is black and sticks to the Ceiling?
-
A not so good Electrician......

 

[Ericzander]

"There is ligma, though."

Isn't that how Ninja died? Sad.

 

[Ghost]

A guy walks into a sweets cafe. The waiter gives him the menu. The guy thought he looks pretty young for a waiter.
After considering what to order, he asks the waiter to give him a small plate of ice cream balls, one of vanilla, one of chocolate, and one of cherry.
the waiter asks the guy to wait a little before his order arrives.

After 5 minutes, the waiter arrives with a small plate of ice cream balls. Before the guy could eat the ice cream in peace, he noticed something is missing.
He asked the waiter: "But where's the spoon? I can't eat a plate of ice cream without a spoon".
The waiter stared at him for a few seconds, only to respond with: "There is no spoon."

Turns out that guy accidentally entered the Matrix, and there's no turning back.

A guy orders a soup at a cafe and the waiter has his fingers in when he brings it over. The guy asks why the waiter why he has fingers in his soup and the waiter responds that that they were cold. The guy asks why doesn’t he he put them in his ass and the waiter said he did that before bringing the soup over.

 

[AmandaRose]

Sometimes I like to tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.That’s just how I roll.

 

[Alexander1970]

I saw two Guys in Partner Look.
I asked them if they were gay.

Then they arrested me.....

 

[IncredulousP]

I saw two Guys in Partner Look.
I asked them if they were gay.

Then they arrested me.....

"And for the record sir, yes we are."

 

[VinsCool]

Police Officer: "How high are you?"
Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?

 

[CORE]

Hello can I come in?
Ofcourse yes come in come in.
Well I must be off then.
I did not say you could leave!

 

[The Catboy]

Wanna hear a joke? Straight pride

 

[IncredulousP]

Wanna hear a joke? Straight pride

So straight people can't be proud?

 

[Alexander1970]

I've been trying to open my Girlfriend's Bra about 15 Minutes.
Unfortunately, in vain.

I wish I had never put him on......

 

[The Catboy]

So straight people can't be proud?

Straight pride has nothing to do with the notion of being “Proud,” it’s a movement made entirely to mock the LGBT+ community. It’s a joke because it’s an extremely transparent movement that shouldn’t be taken seriously.

 

[IncredulousP]

Straight pride has nothing to do with the notion of being “Proud,” it’s a movement made entirely to mock the LGBT+ community. It’s a joke because it’s an extremely transparent movement that shouldn’t be taken seriously.

Oh. Well ignoring assholes, everyone should be proud of who they are

 

[Alexander1970]

Oh. Well ignoring assholes, everyone should be proud of who they are

That was a really good Joke.

 

[Alexander1970]

How do the Scots celebrate the fourth Advent ?

By placing two Candles in front of the mirror.