The Tell-A-Joke Thread

[Veho]

 

[Alexander1970]

"Mr. lifeguard, Mr. lifeguard, a shark eats a child !!!!"

"Yes, they do that ..."

 

[Deleted member 506316]

I have a joke! My life! Oh, another one! What was the Energizer Bunny charged with? BATTERY ASSAULT!

 

[IncredulousP]

I want to get my own bust, but I shouldn't get ahead of myself.

 

[Alexander1970]

What is the difference between

CLATCH! "Ahh !!!"

and

"Aaaaaahhhhh........." CLATCH.....!!!

Spoiler: Guess...

A fall from the 1st Floor and one from the 10th floor.

 

[IncredulousP]

Why did the dog get fired from his company? He was accused of cat-calling his co-workers. The worst part? They were lion.

 

[Alexander1970]

"Police, please open up, we need to talk to you urgently!".
-
How many are you?
-
"We are three".
-
"Then just talk to each other."

 

[IncredulousP]

"Police, please open up, we need to talk to you urgently!".
-
How many are you?
-
"We are three".
-
"Then just talk to each other."

That made me laugh more than it should have

 

[Alexander1970]

That made me laugh more than it should have

That is really nice to hear.....

 

[Mama Dizzys]

I have a joke!
Jokes are meant to be stupid and not taken seriously, right? Well here it is: Dogs
HAHAHHAHAMEEEOOOOWW

 

[Alexander1970]

I have a joke!
Jokes are meant to be stupid and not taken seriously, right? Well here it is: Dogs
HAHAHHAHAMEEEOOOOWW

A mouse is being tracked by a cat. The mouse runs into a pasture and says to the first cow: "Save me!"

The cow answers willingly: "Stand behind me!" The mouse obeys and the cow drops a cowpat. Unfortunately, the mouse tail still looks out. The cat sees him, pulls the mouse out of the cowpat and eats it up.

What does history tell us?

1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who pulls you out of the shit is your friend!
3. If you are already in the shit, at least pull in the tail.

 

[IncredulousP]

In a great pasture were some cows. All were mooing except for one. Why? He wasn't in the moo'd.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

Some cows enjoy being milked, but others can't stand the udder embarrassment.

 

[Alexander1970]

A man reads in a magazine and says to his wife:
"Sweetheart, it says here that women in a year speak almost twice as much as men".

Says the woman:
"Well, that's because we always have to tell you everything twice"

 

[Veho]

 

[AmandaRose]

My Mum ran off with the milkman when I was eight years old.

Watching them drive away on his milk float were the worst three hours of my life.

 

[Alexander1970]

The bus driver said I should not talk to him while driving.
-
Then I gave him little notes in front of his face. Was wrong again!

 

[IncredulousP]

The bus driver said I should not talk to him while driving.
-
Then I gave him little notes in front of his face. Was wrong again!

Stop driving him nuts!

 

[Deleted member 397813]

What's the best way to get rid of gum in your hair?





















cancer.

 

[IncredulousP]

What's the best way to get rid of gum in your hair?





















cancer.

What a cancerous post.

 

[Alexander1970]

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