The symbolism of easter

[RiderLeangle]

I'm sure some of you were wondering where stuff like bunnies and chocolate and painted eggs came from in the story of easter, so I'll explain that symbolism to you.

Around 2000 years ago or so, back when they had such horrible lag that it took 3 days to respawn (meaning spawn campers were 1000 times more annoying than they already were, but at least you could commend them on their patience), back when zombie jesus rose from the grave, everyone said "Holy shit!", as we all know shit is brown, and what else is holy and brown? chocolate, so that's our first symbolic item.

The bunnies also involve the resurrection, When everyone started celebrating before zombie jesus tried to eat everyone's braiiiiiiiiiiiins, they all celebrated doing the only thing you could do for fun back then... fucking...
Yes they fucked like rabbits all day and night, which is where the bunnies come from

As for the painted eggs, well back then they didn't have a ton of things to use as dildos so they decided to go with eggs, they painted them so they were not confused with the eggs meant to eat...

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

As for the painted eggs, well back then they didn't have a ton of things to use as dildos so they decided to go with eggs, they painted them so they were not confused with the eggs meant to eat...

HAHA WHAT AN IDIOT.
http://www.theregist...ncient_phallus/

German scientists are tickled pink after unearthing one of the world's oldest sculpted phalluses - 20cm of polished siltstone lovingly created around 28,000 years ago.
The stone schlong was discovered in Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm, Swabia, by a Tübingen University team. Professor Nicholas Conard, from the university's snappily-named department of Early Prehistory and Quaternary Ecology, explained the excitment to the BBC thus: "Female representations with highly accentuated sexual attributes are very well documented at many sites, but male representations are very, very rare."

Indeed, although other examples of male genitalia - from France and Morocco - predate the Ulm member, to have "any representation of male genitalia from this time period is highly unusual".
There may be a good reason for this - the German sausage bears the scars of having been used to knap flints, and was reassembled from 14 fragments. Despite this abuse, and in a delicious leap of imagination, Conard speculates that the life-size member may have been used as a prehistoric sex toy. As he suggestively notes: "It's highly polished."

Spoiler

 

[RiderLeangle]

I said they didn't have a ton of things, not that they didn't have any. Most people only had access to one of those if they were lucky which made dping much more difficult, so they used the eggs

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

Lies! Dildos were readily available!

 

[ProtoKun7]

Funny thing is that they actually timed Easter correctly this year.

 

[Fellow]

I'm sure some of you were wondering where stuff like bunnies and chocolate and painted eggs came from in the story of easter, so I'll explain that symbolism to you.

Around 2000 years ago or so, back when they had such horrible lag that it took 3 days to respawn (meaning spawn campers were 1000 times more annoying than they already were, but at least you could commend them on their patience), back when zombie jesus rose from the grave, everyone said "Holy shit!", as we all know shit is brown, and what else is holy and brown? chocolate, so that's our first symbolic item.

The bunnies also involve the resurrection, When everyone started celebrating before zombie jesus tried to eat everyone's braiiiiiiiiiiiins, they all celebrated doing the only thing you could do for fun back then... fucking...
Yes they fucked like rabbits all day and night, which is where the bunnies come from

As for the painted eggs, well back then they didn't have a ton of things to use as dildos so they decided to go with eggs, they painted them so they were not confused with the eggs meant to eat...

Seems legit.

 

[Janthran]

I don't think so.