thaddius' Console Roast 2014 Edition - Round 12

Discussion in 'General Gaming Discussion' started by thaddius, May 8, 2014.

?

Worst Handheld of the Eighth Generation

Poll closed May 15, 2014.
  1. The Nintendo 3DS

    19 vote(s)
    3.4%
  2. The Sony Playstation Vita

    80 vote(s)
    14.4%
  3. The Nvidia Shield

    170 vote(s)
    30.5%
  4. The Neo Geo X

    288 vote(s)
    51.7%
  1. thaddius
    OP

    thaddius Charmander is not pleased.

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    Welcome back to thaddius’ Console Roast 2014 Edition. For those of you who are not aware this is a poll where you, the GBATemp user, get to vote on what GBATemp thinks is the worst console ever is. For more information check out the Rules section below.

    Well well! Look what you've done. Y'all chose:
    [​IMG]
    The Microsoft Xbox 360! Congratulations Microsoft you won again, although I don't know what you did to deserve it.

    I was honestly expecting a trouncing of the Wii. You surprise me GBATemp. More than half of you agreed too. Very very strange.

    Ah well. Let's do the rules, shall we?

    Rules:
    Warning: Spoilers inside!
    Enough of that crap, time to get started!

    Intro:
    Onward and upward! We move into the current handheld generation. Oooooh interesting stuff! This will be the last handheld bracket before the semi-finals. Almost there guys!

    I can't really tell what this generation is marked by as it's all over the place. Once again we see Nintendo leading the pack (for now?). But who will 'win' this round? Who will you choose as the worst? Well let's meet everyone so we can get down to brass tacks.

    This Week's Challengers are:

    The Nintendo 3DS
    [​IMG]
    “I hear that the 3DS gives you eye cancer like an ill fated red & black system from ’95. And $250US? Who’s going to buy that thing?”

    The 3DS had a very rough start. Within months of launch the 3DS was hardly standing out against the DS. And the name, just like the Wii U, was confusing people.

    While sales were not great a lot of people decried the doom of Nintendo (again). Fallacious prognosticators seemed to be having a competition to see who could say the most outlandish things about Nintendo and the state of the handheld business. “Will this be Nintendo’s last handheld?” “Will Nintendo stop making hardware altogether?” “Is handheld gaming made irrelevant by Smart Phones?” None of these turned out to be true. And because hindsight is 20/20 they seem to be odd things to have said about a handheld that is doing fine now.

    The 3DS’ eShop manages to be a much better showing than the DSi’s lacklustre storefront. And with downloadable demos (with stupid limits, mind), DLC, patches/updates, and all the things you’d expect from a modern console, the 3DS manages to make itself relevant.

    Just like the GBA and DS Nintendo seems to think that we need a hardware revision every once in a while, so we have 2 so far for the 3DS, the 3DS XL and the, ever confusing, 2DS.

    We shall see how it fares as the generation continues. I wonder just how long it'll take before the next gen surfaces and what Nintendo will do to top this.

    The PlayStation Vita
    [​IMG]
    With the Vita Sony finally learned from the PSP about the perils of overpriced proprietary media. Just kidding, they didn’t. And don’t think you can use use any old Memory Stick Micro (M2) card in that newfangled Vita of yours. That 32GB one you got for the poorly received PSPGo won’t work. It’s gotta be a brand spanking new one with ‘PSVITA’ written on it. Something about DRM.

    Let’s face it though, there are a lot of great games for the Vita. On top of having a large quantity of ports (there are a lot of ports…) and original games, you have the PSOne Classics, the PSP back catalogue too. But there’s a glaring issue with those last two: a large portion of them can’t be downloaded directly onto the Vita, and even then a bunch won’t work with the Vita at all.

    Recently, just after the North American Easter Sale of 2014, all PSP and PSOne games that are on the PSN store suddenly became available for direct download and Vita owners rejoiced. Then it turned out to have been a mistake and it was fixed two days later…

    Maybe it’s not a big deal when you have games like Dragon’s Crown and Spelunky to entertain you, but barring licensing issues there’s no reason not to have those games available on Vita. People want to play Metal Gear Solid without having to run it through a PS3 first (if you even have one). And maybe there are some masochists out there who’re aching for some Metal Gear Ac!d.

    The Vita is actually being heavily advertised as an extension of the PS4, hoping to capitalize on it’s similarities to the Wii U’s tablet in connectivity (I assume) while still being an autonomous console. I really hope that catches on because I’m sick of only having one game that works with remote play on the PS3…

    Only time will tell if the public has a change of heart about the Vita. It’s a great system with some strange issues that shouldn’t be there at all.

    The Nvidia Shield
    [​IMG]
    It was inevitable. Someone would eventually put Android onto a portable gaming device. So after a dearth of Chinese companies tried their hand at it with generic Android handhelds (something that I’m not bothering to include in this round), someone actually thought about doing it properly.

    What Nvidia, a company mostly known for their PC video cards, ended up creating though was a bastard of a console.

    Initially retailing at $299US, the Shield was not received well. Android is a platform reserved for Angry Birds and Flappy Birds clones and is usually on phones. Instead we got a beefy, in processing power and sheer bulk, handheld that throws a screen on top of what is essentially an Xbox 360 controller. Having used one of these I can tell you that it's heavy and almost unwieldily, although still rather impressive for what it is.

    One of the Shield’s more unique features, even though it’s kind of similar to the Wii U and PS3/4 & Vita connectivity, lets you stream your PCs display to the device and send back controller commands, assuming you have a GeForce GTX 650 or better video card. This feature throws the Shield into that murky sea of PC gaming which we’ve somehow avoided so far. While that’s certainly not the focus of this poll, it’s not a negative. My only issue is that a $300 buy-in is a large price to pay for semi-portable gaming.

    As a developer this unit is a dream as programming for Android is easy for a shmuck like me. But as a consumer it’s an overpriced and overpowered for what can essentially be boiled down to an emulator machine. Granted it can play PSOne and N64 games much better than, say, a Dingoo, and will let you play any of your Steam games remotely, but the Dingoo is $60! (Don't get a Dingoo by the way.)

    The SNK Neo Geo X
    [​IMG]
    What the heck? This one kind of came out of nowhere. While technically also a console, it is primarily a handheld. And just like discussed handhelds like the Dingoo and PSP it just happens to be possible to connect it to a TV.

    Given an extremely limited release, the Neo Geo X is a well sought after device. And because it’s trendy it seems to be really good at portable and on-TV gaming. And that case/docking station/charging station! It looks just like a Neo Geo AES console! How wonderful!

    This is essentially a versatile Neo Geo AES system without the bulky carts and huge price tag. At $200 is seemed a lot more accessible than the original console.

    The system came loaded with 20 games, but you could buy more in ‘volumes’ that themselves contained three games each.

    Now as fun as it was to be able to play your favourite Metal Slug (only 1 & 2 were available) or King of Fighters game, there were some complaints to be had. While the system did have high-def connectors some people felt that the image quality was muddy when played on a high-def TV. On the built-in display there were also reports that the image quality was a little washed out.


    Another issue is that instead of the system being a miniaturized version of the original Neo Geo AES hardware, it seems to be just a lazy emulation. It apparently uses FinalBurn Alpha, an arcade emulator, and is no better than running a similar emulator on a PSP.

    So why would you want this thing? Compared to a hacked PSP it doesn't seem like a good deal. But the arcade stick is a nice touch. Ultimately I'd peg this thing as a collectors item but not much else. Other people might feel differently about it, but we'll see how the votes turn out, shall we?

    Outro:
    So there you have it! The current generation of handhelds! I'm not going much else. So I guess I'll see you in the comments!

    Current Standings:
    Warning: Spoilers inside!
     
  2. yuyuyup

    yuyuyup GBAtemp Psycho!

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    What is the point of this thread
     
  3. Langin

    Langin HI! ^O^

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    The SNK Neo Geo X got my vote with shitty build quality and poor support. =w= I would have voted for Nvidia Shield but this one is a tat more shittier.
     
  4. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

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    Neo Geo X. Here's what SNK thought - "hey guys, you know what would be cool? If all those guys who didn't get to play all our awesome games on the uber-expensive Neo Geo could do it on a small, awesome handheld that... wait for it... would be a home console at the same time!" and someone answered "Yeah, that's a great idea! Now let's do it in the most inefficient way, via inaccurate hardware emulation that's available on every smartphone to date!" and then they made the Neo Geo X. That system definitely has the "sexappeal", it's very sleak and sweet-looking, but feature-wise it wasn't interesting until it was hacked, and even that requires actual hardware tinkering to get it to work. I also heard that the most crucial part of the whole deal, the controller for the TV portion of the console... is rubbish, wheras the original was arcade-like. It's disappointing considering the price point, really. The 3DS is an awesome system, so is the PSVita, although it's taking its sweet time before kicking off properly like the PSP did, the Shield is the perfect Android gaming device and the Neo Geo X... is an oddity for collectors. Don't get me wrong, I really want to own one of them, I just know it's not as great as the hype around it lead me to believe.
     
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  5. Tom Bombadildo

    Tom Bombadildo Honk!

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    I forgot
    Having owned all the handhelds except the Neo-Geo...I'd have to go for the Neo-Geo >.>

    The 3DS is a nice handheld I guess, personally I only had interest in 2-3 games over it's lifetime but it does have a bit for everyone. I've bought like 2 of them as well as have gotten 1 for free, and sold all of them once I was done with whatever. It's probably collected more dust than any of my other handhelds.

    The Vita is probably my favorite of the 3, contrary to Nin10yearold beliefs it has tons of games (3many5me to play:() and with PS+ I'll never finish my Vita backlog :angry: PS4 game streaming is pretty neato, too. Most games play pretty well and I've yet to run into any major problems.

    I bought a Shield in April during the whole "It's $200!!!!" thing and I have yet to regret that purchase. It was meant to take over my PSP and my tablet as a portable emulation machine, and goddamn does it emulate. Just about every emulator works amaze-balls, and it has a nice selection of Android games that are designed for the Shield/general controller use. It also has the whole game-streaming thing for PC which is pretty nice, lets me play XYZ without having to get my fat ass out of bed. My only complaint with it is the size, it's not all that portable, but other than that it's a pretty great emulator beast.
     
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  6. Nah3DS

    Nah3DS Madre de Dios! Es El POLLO DIABLO!!!

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    the Vita :lol:
     
  7. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

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    Can't wait for the avalanche of votes against the PSVita without any good arguments to support the choice. :rolleyes:
     
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  8. GameWinner

    GameWinner Take your heart

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    Well it's not the Vita that's for sure.
     
  9. Gahars

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    I think everyone's too harsh on the Neo Geo X. It has an "X" in its name. That's pretty cool.

    The Nvidia Shield, though? Not actually a shield. It's a total ripoff, through and through.

    Come on, guys, this isn't tough.
     
  10. Tom Bombadildo

    Tom Bombadildo Honk!

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    I forgot
    Pfft, have you seen how thick the thing is? It could definitely be a shield if you tried :teach:
     
  11. calmwaters

    calmwaters Cat's best friend

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    I base my value of handhelds based on their portability. What's the point of playing games on the go if it's a pain to lug the monstrosity around? So, I'd definitely go with the Nvidia Shield. Plus Sony doesn't have a good history with portables like Nintendo does; the PSP and PSVita attest to this. But they are relatively portable if you have large pockets, whereas the Shield is not. And they also have pretty nice libraries.

    Edit: darn, my vote got recorded in the Neo-Geo choice. It's supposed to be for the Shield. Keep that in mind, thaddius.
     
  12. boomario

    boomario Nothing to say here.

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    PSVita is a great handheld and have games that make it worth so it's not so close to being the worst.
    3DS is great and if you like nintendo first parties it really worth every cent you spend on him considering the support was greatly increased with eshop, patches, DLC's and everything since DSi even with al different versions (seriously, how a 2ds can be easy to carry around?)
    Shield at least for me is useless since i already have too many devices capable to emulate my favorite games and there's Android on almost any non microsoft/apple devices nowdays, but considering the controls and good hardware he can be a good emulation plataform and even run some rare good android games.
    About NeoGeo X, well, IIRC android have a arcade emulator too so if you have a Shield why you will need that one?
     
  13. Lilith Valentine

    Lilith Valentine GBATemp's Wolfdog™ ☠️Grunt☠️

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    Going with the modified Dingoo on this one.
     
  14. Tom Bombadildo

    Tom Bombadildo Honk!

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    I forgot
    Since when has ~80 million in sales = "not a good history"? The PSP started out slow, but after a few years the sales skyrocketed, just like the PS3's did. To put it into perspective, the GBA (including all the revisions) only ever topped at ~80 mil as well.

    I expect the Vita to follow the same route, it'll skyrocket after a few years when they bring more western games.
     
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  15. GameWinner

    GameWinner Take your heart

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    Did you forget the PSP's 80 million sales?
    Oh, and let's also forget PSP's huge library of mainstream games such as two of its own Grand Theft Auto Games, Monster Hunter, Gran Turismo, ton of Final Fantasy spinoffs, Kingdom Hearts, two God of War games, spinoffs from several PS2 titles, and tons more that I'm probably forgetting. But whatever, let's ignore Sony's handhelds in favor of Nintendo's.
     
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  16. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

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    The PSP's success is massively overshadowed by the Nintendo DS anomaly - the level of success that system achieved is legendary, so the PSP seems pale in comparison, but in reality it's one of the most popular handheld consoles of all time.
     
  17. matpower

    matpower A Hero of Justice

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    But Vita has no gaems! :P
    Anyway, I am voting in the Neo Geo X, I own a 3DS, I am sure Vita someday will get a bit more popular and a Nvidia Shield is a nice handheld machine for mah emulators(I will have to buy one ASAP :P), I never heard of the Neo Geo X until now, googled a bit and well, it is bad, it died early and the games were emulated (FBAlpha in a Linux OS, looks like it is Dingux, and the hardware is similar to a Dingoo, so any modern smartphone/tablet can overcome it nowadays), so like The Catboy said above, it is a modified Dingoo.
    (Also about your X360 remark, most of us said it didn't have any memorable exclusives and if you had a PS3/PC, you could play the AAA titles)
     
  18. DinohScene

    DinohScene Feed Dino to the Sharks

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    NGX, come on, you're far to late to the party.
     
  19. KingVamp

    KingVamp Great... AETHER!

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    Going with Neo Geo X.
     
  20. tbgtbg

    tbgtbg Shaking the ring ropes up in the sky

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    Sorry Nvidia, but I just don't believe in the shield.