Welcome back to thaddius’ Console Roast 2014 Edition. For those of you who are not aware this is a poll where you, the GBATemp user, get to vote on what GBATemp thinks is the worst console ever is. For more information check out the Rules section below. Well well! Look what you've done. Y'all chose: The Microsoft Xbox 360! Congratulations Microsoft you won again, although I don't know what you did to deserve it. I was honestly expecting a trouncing of the Wii. You surprise me GBATemp. More than half of you agreed too. Very very strange. Ah well. Let's do the rules, shall we? Rules: Warning: Spoilers inside! There can only be one! Each week I pit each console generation against itself to determine what the worst console of that generation was. Updates will hopefully be up every Thursday from now till the end. We’re going to work our way up through consoles and handhelds until we reach the current generation. Once that’s all done, we’ll determine the worst console and the worst handheld. From there we choose the definitive GBATemp-approved WORST CONSOLE EVER. Your only job, Mr. or Ms. GBATemper, is to cast your vote for what you think the worst of the generation is. Please try to do some research, watch some videos, maybe play a few of these games on a (completely legitimate) emulator, and you just might learn a little about the weird amorphous blob that is video game history. But I can't (and won't) keep you from just shooting from the uninformed hip. You're also encouraged to explain your choice in the form of a response to this topic. In the event of a tie, I (Sir thaddius prigg) will cast the deciding vote. It is my Roast after all... The Generations are taken from Wikipedia as I've deemed that to be an appropriate neutral third party. I understand if you might have some concerns that I've put things in the wrong generation in your opinion, but I'm not too concerned about that. Generations are murky constructs at best and are based on arbitrary distinctions made by outsiders as post hoc rationalizations that don't mean anything to anyone anyway. Also if I left out even included a certain console/handheld you think does/doesn't belong there I'm probably not going to include/not include them anyway. Basically don't take any of this too seriously. I'm not going to change the polls based on your opinion of them. Aggressive discussion is allowed, but please try to keep within the rules of the forums. Just try to have fun and don’t be a jerk, k? Enough of that crap, time to get started! Intro: Onward and upward! We move into the current handheld generation. Oooooh interesting stuff! This will be the last handheld bracket before the semi-finals. Almost there guys! I can't really tell what this generation is marked by as it's all over the place. Once again we see Nintendo leading the pack (for now?). But who will 'win' this round? Who will you choose as the worst? Well let's meet everyone so we can get down to brass tacks. This Week's Challengers are: The Nintendo 3DS “I hear that the 3DS gives you eye cancer like an ill fated red & black system from ’95. And $250US? Who’s going to buy that thing?” The 3DS had a very rough start. Within months of launch the 3DS was hardly standing out against the DS. And the name, just like the Wii U, was confusing people. While sales were not great a lot of people decried the doom of Nintendo (again). Fallacious prognosticators seemed to be having a competition to see who could say the most outlandish things about Nintendo and the state of the handheld business. “Will this be Nintendo’s last handheld?” “Will Nintendo stop making hardware altogether?” “Is handheld gaming made irrelevant by Smart Phones?” None of these turned out to be true. And because hindsight is 20/20 they seem to be odd things to have said about a handheld that is doing fine now. The 3DS’ eShop manages to be a much better showing than the DSi’s lacklustre storefront. And with downloadable demos (with stupid limits, mind), DLC, patches/updates, and all the things you’d expect from a modern console, the 3DS manages to make itself relevant. Just like the GBA and DS Nintendo seems to think that we need a hardware revision every once in a while, so we have 2 so far for the 3DS, the 3DS XL and the, ever confusing, 2DS. We shall see how it fares as the generation continues. I wonder just how long it'll take before the next gen surfaces and what Nintendo will do to top this. The PlayStation Vita With the Vita Sony finally learned from the PSP about the perils of overpriced proprietary media. Just kidding, they didn’t. And don’t think you can use use any old Memory Stick Micro (M2) card in that newfangled Vita of yours. That 32GB one you got for the poorly received PSPGo won’t work. It’s gotta be a brand spanking new one with ‘PSVITA’ written on it. Something about DRM. Let’s face it though, there are a lot of great games for the Vita. On top of having a large quantity of ports (there are a lot of ports…) and original games, you have the PSOne Classics, the PSP back catalogue too. But there’s a glaring issue with those last two: a large portion of them can’t be downloaded directly onto the Vita, and even then a bunch won’t work with the Vita at all. Recently, just after the North American Easter Sale of 2014, all PSP and PSOne games that are on the PSN store suddenly became available for direct download and Vita owners rejoiced. Then it turned out to have been a mistake and it was fixed two days later… Maybe it’s not a big deal when you have games like Dragon’s Crown and Spelunky to entertain you, but barring licensing issues there’s no reason not to have those games available on Vita. People want to play Metal Gear Solid without having to run it through a PS3 first (if you even have one). And maybe there are some masochists out there who’re aching for some Metal Gear Ac!d. The Vita is actually being heavily advertised as an extension of the PS4, hoping to capitalize on it’s similarities to the Wii U’s tablet in connectivity (I assume) while still being an autonomous console. I really hope that catches on because I’m sick of only having one game that works with remote play on the PS3… Only time will tell if the public has a change of heart about the Vita. It’s a great system with some strange issues that shouldn’t be there at all. The Nvidia Shield It was inevitable. Someone would eventually put Android onto a portable gaming device. So after a dearth of Chinese companies tried their hand at it with generic Android handhelds (something that I’m not bothering to include in this round), someone actually thought about doing it properly. What Nvidia, a company mostly known for their PC video cards, ended up creating though was a bastard of a console. Initially retailing at $299US, the Shield was not received well. Android is a platform reserved for Angry Birds and Flappy Birds clones and is usually on phones. Instead we got a beefy, in processing power and sheer bulk, handheld that throws a screen on top of what is essentially an Xbox 360 controller. Having used one of these I can tell you that it's heavy and almost unwieldily, although still rather impressive for what it is. One of the Shield’s more unique features, even though it’s kind of similar to the Wii U and PS3/4 & Vita connectivity, lets you stream your PCs display to the device and send back controller commands, assuming you have a GeForce GTX 650 or better video card. This feature throws the Shield into that murky sea of PC gaming which we’ve somehow avoided so far. While that’s certainly not the focus of this poll, it’s not a negative. My only issue is that a $300 buy-in is a large price to pay for semi-portable gaming. As a developer this unit is a dream as programming for Android is easy for a shmuck like me. But as a consumer it’s an overpriced and overpowered for what can essentially be boiled down to an emulator machine. Granted it can play PSOne and N64 games much better than, say, a Dingoo, and will let you play any of your Steam games remotely, but the Dingoo is $60! (Don't get a Dingoo by the way.) The SNK Neo Geo X What the heck? This one kind of came out of nowhere. While technically also a console, it is primarily a handheld. And just like discussed handhelds like the Dingoo and PSP it just happens to be possible to connect it to a TV. Given an extremely limited release, the Neo Geo X is a well sought after device. And because it’s trendy it seems to be really good at portable and on-TV gaming. And that case/docking station/charging station! It looks just like a Neo Geo AES console! How wonderful! This is essentially a versatile Neo Geo AES system without the bulky carts and huge price tag. At $200 is seemed a lot more accessible than the original console. The system came loaded with 20 games, but you could buy more in ‘volumes’ that themselves contained three games each. Now as fun as it was to be able to play your favourite Metal Slug (only 1 & 2 were available) or King of Fighters game, there were some complaints to be had. While the system did have high-def connectors some people felt that the image quality was muddy when played on a high-def TV. On the built-in display there were also reports that the image quality was a little washed out. Another issue is that instead of the system being a miniaturized version of the original Neo Geo AES hardware, it seems to be just a lazy emulation. It apparently uses FinalBurn Alpha, an arcade emulator, and is no better than running a similar emulator on a PSP. So why would you want this thing? Compared to a hacked PSP it doesn't seem like a good deal. But the arcade stick is a nice touch. Ultimately I'd peg this thing as a collectors item but not much else. Other people might feel differently about it, but we'll see how the votes turn out, shall we? Outro: So there you have it! The current generation of handhelds! I'm not going much else. So I guess I'll see you in the comments! Current Standings: Warning: Spoilers inside!