It was a dark and snowy night one week away from Christmas day. I was busy on my computer browsing GBATemp, and periodically minimizing to my Runescape forum threads. I had taken the liberty of installing my own mini fireplace, but it isn't what you would call a "fireplace". I had hooked my computer to my LCD flat screen via the monitor out port, I then followed suit to hook the computer up to a second monitor. I had wrote a program from scratch. Programming came easily to me, and I don't know why, but I could think it in my brain, and I would black out. When I would wake, I would still be sitting at my computer, in fact the only thing to change was the text on my screen. I had always assumed that I had typed it by hand, but I sensed there was something deeper. The program was relatively simple, well simple to my standards. In the scene is a room, with a Christmas tree with random light patterns, in the center is a fireplace an mantle combination, the fire place had realistic flames that were as comforting as real flames (just not that good for keeping warm). This was all visible on the LCD flat screen. The mantle had stockings for the people you put input. Mine had three, one for me, and two for the people I lived with. These people had found me unconscious with a deathly pallor practically on their doorstep, on a night not unlike tonight. They took me in out a goodness in their hearts, not knowing who I was, what I did, and why I was out like a light on their door step. Well, they did ask, but it was apparent that I had amnesia, and that they would not get anything out of me until I remembered. My program I had wrote was distributed as a freeware, they would send an email to my domain with what they wanted for Christmas within a limit per person (after all Santa has a budget too), and an A.I. would decipher the words, and store what they wanted in a database. When Christmas rolled around at 12 o' clock midnight, the virtual timer embedded in the program would trigger a virtual Santa to drop from the chimney, extinguish the flames, drop the wanted presents under, and around the tree, then leave just as quietly as he came. When you awoke in the morning, you could click on your presents, and open them. It was novel, but it made me feel better for some reason to give back to society, I couldn't quite place why this was, but it was a nagging feeling at the back of my mind. I stood up and walked halfway through my room, and suddenly I heard an alarm in my head, and a splitting headache ensued. It felt like a nail was slowly, but surely being driven through my eyeball. I shut my eyes, and blacked out yet again.
I opened my eyes, and found myself floating in a sea of ones and zeros. It felt wet like water, so I did a test to see if I could swim, and found out quickly that I could move noiselessly unlike what would sound out in water. I took a quick survey of my surroundings, and there was nothing, oh sweet nothing. I took in my hand a medley of ones and zeros. I closed my eyes and thought about snow. Suddenly I felt a different wetness in my hands, a cold wetness. Then several more! My eyes fluttered open in an instant, an behold! True to my sense of touch there was snow falling from a grey cloudy sky! With a great revelation, I realized that I could do anything here! This was my domain, and I could bend it to my will! The first thing I did was think long and hard on what should be created. As I thought, and thought, and thought some more, I imagined a Game Boy Advance. Then that evolved into an idea so great, and expansive, that it took seven virtual days, and seven virtual nights (which were about one hour apeice). When at last I opened my eyes, there was a thriving metropolis that stood in front of me. It was all dressed for Christmas, but instead of Christmas the large center piece that could be seen fromm anywhere in the city said in big red lettering: "Tempmas 2009"! I read this and realized that I had virtualized GBATemp to 3D! These were the actual users, running to and from boards, topics, and posting. I had also realized that somehow, the place of ones and zeros I had virualized this city to, is some sort of huge computer! Somehow, this place had connected to the internet and is taking commands from GBATemp to form the city running in real time! Then I realized the members had taken form of their actual avatars... Oh my gosh! The as a guest walked by, I saw his avatar placeholder had a picture of something very obscene. I wasn't sure if that was Costello's sense of humor showing, or there was something wrong here. As I turned to watch the guest walk by I saw Guild McCommunist walking nearby. I ran over and hailed him by his name, "Hey! Guild McCommunist!" About 10 seconds later he paused, and walked back to me. I thought to myself, "Hey I must have P.M.'d him."
A text bubble appeared over his head with my words in a quote bubble, and some new words, "Hey Sterl500, what do you need?"
I though to myself, "I am Sterl500?" Then I looked above my head, and my Username was definately "Sterl500". I replied, "Well, Have you noticed that the guests avatar pictures are visible now?"
A few seconds later he replied, "How can I see their avatars when there isn't even a way to veiw them?"
I thought for a second and said, "Try clicking on the number of guests viewing the board you are on."
This time it took a complete minute for him to reply, "Holy shit! That is gross! Let me contact Costello, and see if this is just his wierd sense of humor, or something else entirly!"
After that he walked away. I decided to go explore some topics. After invading the Legend of Zelda Spirit Tracks AP Crack topic, and created a random topic in the End of Forum, I began to get some feelings about being watched. I then figured, "Someone is viewing my profile." That wasn't it though. It was a more sinister feeling, laced with hatred, and madness. Suddenly that feeling manifested itself in front of me as a dark figure. Which before it had totally formed sped away like mad! I gave chase, and the figure gave no heed to any of the users, and everytime it hit someone, a big text bubble formed above the user, and a big lettered word popped into it: "BANNED." The decorations flew every which way, and I passed Costello with a priceless look on his face. As I got deeper into the chase the figure formed into a Humanoid furry creature, and continued to speed through GBATemp at breakneck speed. There was a group of people standing in a circle spouting vague innuendo at each other. I thought, "Must be that topic in the End of Forum", but I yelled, "look out!" And waved my hand. Suddenly they all flew through the air! They departed in a manner of chaos, to a different board in GBATemp. I decided to kick it up a notch, and capture this beast. So I created a rope, and a metal Santa Hat GBATemp Mascot. I attached these together to make a grapple. I threw the grapple into wide slow circles, then I lobbed it. I grinned in satisfaction, as the moster is brought to its' knees, tied from head to toe! Instead of killing it, I sent it to the GameFAQs board of losers, as they were in need of a serious troll. I looked at all the destruction behind me, decorations hanging by a thread, banned user lying still on the ground, and a completly befuddled Costello standing there with a crazed look on his face. Then, it all changed! The users got up, and helped reset the decorations! Then Costello's look changed from "what the fuck?!" to "for the win"! I felt that I had done some good here, and I had got my fill of GBATemp in 3D. I had no idea on how to get to the place I called home though. Then something hit me, a rouge P.M. that said psst. hey you in the 3D have you written a letter to santa about what you want this year? Having completed its' mission it flew off. I didn't really believe in Santa, but I believed in Temp Santa! I decided I would write an epic letter to Santemp, I got started right way, and when I was finished it looked like this:
Dear Santemp,
I have been a good boy this year, I have done many un-useful things for society that may seem useless, but are very thoughtful. The Virtual Santa program I wrote achieved a million hits, and just as many downloads. It's free, so people who cannot afford, or don't want a tree, but have a computer and internet, can emulate a Santa Claus visit, and then bring out the presents! I have done a very useful thing for society recently, and it was saving your website's honor, dignity, and your Tempmas. What I want for christmas is a promise that GBATemp will run forever, or just during the course of the internet. This way it may be enjoyed by all: gamers, hackers, lurkers, moderators, dogs, cats, etc. Please make my wish come true.
GBAtemp's Hero,
Silva Herado
I reviewed my work in satisfaction, it was simple but it got my point across. With a sad look I sent my letter off, with a hope that Santemp would find it. I sat down exhausted. Having thwarted the evil of the decade, I knew my work was done here. I closed my eyes with a longing to go home and sleep in my bed. The 3D GBATemp's sounds and faces faded to black, Then I woke to the sight and sound of Virtual Santa go up the chimney with a puff of smoke, and a "Ho Ho Ho!" I smiled and layed back down with the thought, "I am home."
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The Real Jdbye:
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BigOnYa:
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RedColoredStars:
