STEINER SATURDAY!

DRAGONBALLVINTAGE

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GIMME A FUCKING MIC!

THEY SAY ALL WRESTING SHOWS ARE CREATED EQUAL. BUT YOU LOOK AT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND SMACKDOWN AND YOU CAN SEE THAT STATEMENT IS NOT TRUE. YOU SEE, THE RATINGS OF RAW ARE CURRENTLY FALLING FASTER THAN SAMO JOE WILL WHEN HIS HEART ATTACK FINALLY KICKS IN. THE REASON IS THAT WHILST ALL SHOWS HAVE A 50% OF BEING GOOD, YOU FORGET THAT ON THE WWWE NETWORK, THERE ARE HIGHLIGHTS ON BIG POPPA PUMP TAKING FREAKS TO HIS PEAKS, LIKE THE LOVELY MISS KEIBLER. THAT INSTANTLY ADDS A 30% CHANCE OF SUCCESS, MEANING THAT A MONDAY NIGHT STEINER IS 80% LIKELY TO BOOST RATINGS. THEN YOU ADD SMACKDOWN INTO THE MIX WITH SOCCERMOM AND THAT PENCIL NECK MIZ, AND YOUR CHANCES OF TOPPING ME DRASTIC GO DOWN. AND RING OF HONOR ISN'T EVEN GOING TO TRY TO GET INVOLVED BECAUSE IT KNOWS IT CAN'T BEAT ME.

SO YOU TAKE THAT 50% AND SUBTRACT THE 30% OF HAVING NO GENETIC FREAK, YOU HAVE A 20% CHANCE, AT BEST, OF YOUR SHOW BEING SUCCESFSUL IN THE THIRD HOUR. HOWEVER, YOU TAKE MY 80% CHANCE, PLUS THE RING OF HONOR FIFTY PERCENT, AND I HAVE A 130% CHANCE OF BRINGING THE SHONEYS IN.

MCMAHON, THE NUMBERS DON'T LIE. AND THEY SPELL DISASTER FOR YOU IN THE RATINGS GAME. BIG POPPA PUMP IS YOUR HOOKUP.

HOLLA, IF YOU HEAR ME!
 
Last edited by DRAGONBALLVINTAGE,

ThoD

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Yet another shitpost... I get that this is the EoF and all, but come on people, do some original shitposting already!

PS: And the all caps with varying font sizes make it a pain to read too...
 

VinsCool

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*unamused face*
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