Should I?

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by andy249901, Dec 7, 2012.

  1. andy249901

    andy249901 GBAtemp Fan

    Jan 30, 2008
    United States
    IDK if there is a blog section, so i'm posting this here.

    What happened:
    So my mom and I got in an argument earlier and it got intense.
    I am a senior in high school and it was about enrolling into a college.
    So the whole thing was basically her telling me how worthless my life was and that I am basically a disgrace and a failure.
    I try my hardest in school and get A's and B's and yet, she's not proud.
    She told me that she wishes that she could have at least one child who was "good" and could be proud of
    I try to be the best son that I can be.
    My sister recently got arrested and ever since she has been treating my brother and I like crap.
    She ignores us and every time she talks to us it's always aggressive/yelling.
    She wants me to become a doctor but it's not gonna happen. I'm not interested in becoming one.
    She says that I suck because I didn't get a scholarship and we don't really qualify for financial aid because we are middle-upper class and she wont help pay for it.
    I suggested community college because it's a hell of a lot cheaper and she said "You want to be stuck with those losers?"

    How I feel:
    She expects way too much of me
    She should be proud of who I already am, not what I end up doing or how much I make
    She doesn't respect any of the decisions I want to make and tells me "no"
    I want to move out, but it'd be rough out there by myself
    She doesn't care for what I want to do as a career

    So basically i put those things in a letter.
    Should I give it to her to let her know how I feel?
    She won't even look at me right now so it's kind of hard to talk about it.

    Please let me know what you think.
  2. emigre

    emigre Oh Jeremy Corbyn

    Jan 28, 2009
    United States
    My mother is pretty similar in terms of never being satisfied and just being a difficult person to know. Though she's a Bangladeshi woman where being difficult is a common trait.

    I suggest you give her the letter and let her know how you feel. It could be a catalyst in sorting out your problems. It sounds like the crap with your sister has pushed her into some sort of bitch mode due to your sister. Whilst its understandable for her to act like that, it doesn't give her an excuse to treat you and your brother badly. Again I can sympathise with that, when my sister ran away and got married, my mother became more paranoid and that's subsequently affected me with how I conduct myself.

    I remember a few years ago, she was convinced I was going to completely fail my A-levels. I ended up getting AAB. She thinks of me as some sort of idiot who can't do anything. And she relays this message to her family and treat me as if I have special needs. She still wanted me to become a doctor though.

    In the end, she hasn't changed so I ignored her opinion on everything. And if you can't reconcile your problems with your mother, than think about making some space between you whether it be living with some relatives or friends for a while. No one should be subjected to being treated poorly.
  3. andy249901

    andy249901 GBAtemp Fan

    Jan 30, 2008
    United States

    Yeah, I think i'm gonna do it.

    Honestly, there was so much rage built up inside of me while I was writing the letter, but by the time I finished I was completely calm.
    I felt so much better just writing the actual letter itself that I didn't know whether or not I wanted to give her the letter.

    Thanks man, I didn't know who else to ask besides the internet.
  4. Lanlan

    Lanlan GBAtemp Advanced Fan

    Feb 4, 2011
    United States
    I'm being completely serious here, but is there any possibility that she's on drugs? My mom was on drugs at one point and I hated her. She just turned into a horrible person, impossible to get along with, a serious 180 from what she was before.
  5. Gahars

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

    Aug 5, 2011
    United States
    New Jersey
    It's not often that emigre steps in to offer sincere, legitimate advice, so take heed.

    I'd recommend that you be honest with your mother; whether or not that involves giving her the letter is up to you. Maybe she's just inadvertently projecting her insecurities onto you and your brother without even realizing it. An honest, direct conversation might be what it takes to open her eyes. Or, sadly, it might not, but it's at least worth a try.

    Best of luck.
    Jiehfeng and Janthran like this.