Post your jokes thread

[x65943]

That is sad mate

 

[MPRTwice]

I almost want to tell myself: "great job, moron. there goes another one. how many more are you going to let down? Ten? A hundred? you know they are right about you. you should have never been a teacher. you let him down, and you are a massive dissappointment. I know why the others left you. your best is just giving them false hope. And if that is your best, your worst is not even worth mentioning."


But I won't. That's just the devil talking. It's not my fault. I did my best. God Always Has a Way.

 

[x65943]

The truth is you do the best you can do, and some things are out of your control

 

[MPRTwice]

The truth is you do the best you can do, and some things are out of your control

I am trying my best.

I'm going to relax as best as I can.

I did find out that the student did not take his own life as they thought he did. It was a fatal accident.

I should take a deep breath and take it easy.

I do a great job teaching and I'm not going to fall apart on my students. Thank you for understanding this.

 

[BakerMan]

why has this thread just become x65 ragebaiting mpr lmao

 

[hippy dave]

why has this thread just become x65 ragebaiting mpr lmao

It's the only joke we've got left

 

[Lostbhoy]

Wife says to husband on their wedding night: don't worry dear, a small penis isn't such a big deal. Husband replies: I don't know... I wish you never had one at all!


Waiter asks if guy is ready to order. Oh my wife's in the toilet at the moment. Waiter asks do you know what shes having? Guy says she's been a while so probably a shit

 

[K3Nv4]

Sent a text to my therapist asking why are doctors allowed to say oral, sodium and penis? When I say it women slap me.

 

[Lostbhoy]

I awoke in the hospital and the nurse said I can't feel anything below the waist. So i felt her breasts.

 

[AncientBoi]

 

[Veho]

My boss said he was going to fire the employee with the worst posture, and I think it's going to be me. I'm not 100% certain, but I have a hunch.

 

[AmandaRose]

Not a joke as such but this happened to me.

Earlier today I was out walking the dog and guy that lives next to me walked up and said

“Hi there I see you walking about all the time thought I’d say hi , do you know what i think is really nice about you “

So I am thinking eyes, smile , tits or ass ??? But no ….

he fucking says

“ you pick yer dogs shit up”

 

[AncientBoi]

Not a joke as such but this happened to me.

Earlier today I was out walking the dog and guy that lives next to me walked up and said

“Hi there I see you walking about all the time thought I’d say hi , do you know what i think is really nice about you “

So I am thinking eyes, smile , tits or ass ??? But no ….

he fucking says

“ you pick yer dogs shit up”

oh shit. Even the neighbors heard me laugh on that.

 

[Something whatever]

I swear all I do is work, come home, blink... And then I'm back at work again.

 

[AncientBoi]

I swear all I do is work, come home, blink... And then I'm back at work again.

I vaguely remember those days. They were a bitch to be sure. 2-days, 2-swing & 1-grave was my schedule.

 

[Something whatever]

I vaguely remember those days. They were a bitch to be sure. 2-days, 2-swing & 1-grave was my schedule.

I hate it....but i need money

 

[AncientBoi]

I hate it....but i need money

Yea, that an I also had to as the post commander. Overseeing Everyting.

 

[hippy dave]

I swear all I do is work, come home, blink... And then I'm back at work again.

THEN STOP BLINKING

 

[Something whatever]

Not everyone knows this, but the paper towels by the gas pumps are for wiping away your tears after paying to fill your tank.

 

[SylverReZ]

It's the only joke we've got left

MPR is serving the devil.