Post your jokes thread

[HawaiianInTown]

For those who don't want Alexa listening to all your conversations, there's a male version in the works..... It doesn't listen to anything!

At launch it will have a day 1 update that fixes the issue. Wives, mothers, girlfriends, etc... everywhere are like, "Shut up and take my money! You keep your Alex Amazon, we just want the update and nobody gets hurt!"

 

[Lostbhoy]

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered on Egypt....

Archaeologists believe it may be Pharoh Roche!

 

[HawaiianInTown]

Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?
A: Because they're extinct.

 

[AncientBoi]

Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?
A: Because they're extinct.

And you know why you can't smell them?
Because they're Extinct

 

[AmandaRose]

Just found out that tomorrow is Jamaican Hairstyle day in work.

To be honest with you I'm dreading it

 

[AmandaRose]

Had to go see the doctor today as I have developed a really bad habit of buying boats that I don't need.

After a lengthy conversation with him he thought the best solution was to prescribe me with AntiBuyYachtics

 

[Lostbhoy]

When my daughter was born she had jaundice, she was small, round and yellow; we called her Melony.

 

[MPRTwice]

this is a really bad and inappropriate joke: satan.

another bad inappropriate joke: combat sports.

And another bad one: x65943's AutoCAD and chain-snapping skills, as backed by his (lack of) proof.

 

[x65943]

Bro we get it you have a black belt in the sims

 

[MPRTwice]

Bro we get it you have a black belt in the sims

I don't try to enslave people in video games. why did that come to your mind? perhaps a chain snap video will help you, if you can produce one, that is.

you don't need to touch grass to do it, either.

 

[x65943]

Please, we get it, you love the devil

Give us some peace and quiet and worship him privately

 

[MPRTwice]

Please, we get it, you love the devil

Give us some peace and quiet and worship him privately

what is it with you saying "love the devil" so much? and "worship him"? are ya mad that I proved Tae-Kwon-do to be better than all combat sports, or was it the discovery of how frame-skipped the combat sports videos are? Hmm.

 

[x65943]

what is it with you saying "love the devil" so much? and "worship him"? are ya mad that I proved Tae-Kwon-do to be better than all combat sports, or was it the discovery of how frame-skipped the combat sports videos are? Hmm.

Turn to Jesus and you won't get sepsis anymore

Your beloved devil is poisoning you mate

 

[MPRTwice]

Turn to Jesus and you won't get sepsis anymore

Your beloved devil is poisoning you mate

"beloved devil", why do you call the idiot that?

Anyways, septic shock boosted my immune system to the point where even accidental poison ingestion weeks ago is not a big deal and did not hurt me.

Hence:

"They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover"


I got stronger, thinner, faster, etc. on the other side of the septic shock infection:

I am not only unhurt by it, but I became better than I was before; welcome to training! Care to "lean" on my advice?

"And when they were escaped, then they knew that the island was called Melita. And the barbarous people shewed us no little kindness: for they kindled a fire, and received us every one, because of the present rain, and because of the cold. And when Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks, and laid them on the fire, there came a viper out of the heat, and fastened on his hand. And when the barbarians saw the venomous beast hang on his hand, they said among themselves, No doubt this man is a murderer, whom, though he hath escaped the sea, yet vengeance suffereth not to live. And he shook off the beast into the fire, and felt no harm. Howbeit they looked when he should have swollen, or fallen down dead suddenly: but after they had looked a great while, and saw no harm come to him, they changed their minds, and said that he was a god."

 

[x65943]

Bro why are you sharing photos of chicken wings on here? You know this is a video game forum right?

 

[MPRTwice]

Bro why are you sharing photos of chicken wings on here? You know this is a video game forum right?

you think I have loads of type II collagen protein fibers, as that of a chicken?

I get that the sociopaths want to make me into bone marrow soup, but still, that's a compliment to say I'm full of collagen fibers, lol!

 

[x65943]

you think I have loads of type II collagen protein fibers, as that of a chicken?

View attachment 560986
I get that the sociopaths want to make me into bone marrow soup, but still, that's a compliment to say I'm full of collagen fibers, lol!

I get you like to eat chicken wings, but this isn't the thread for chicken wing photos

 

[MPRTwice]

I get you like to eat chicken wings, but this isn't the thread for chicken wing photos

fast twitch fibers tend to benefit from collagen, or did you not know that in the events of fast game controller movements?

 

[x65943]

At least put some bbq sauce on that scrawny chicken wing before you eat it

What did you do, starve that chicken for a few weeks???

 

[MPRTwice]

At least put some bbq sauce on that scrawny chicken wing before you eat it

What did you do, starve that chicken for a few weeks???

less fat and more protein is a great way to build speed. I'm lifting more than I used to.