Mocking the devil: a parody.

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satan: "why did you not kill him?"

evil spirit 1: "sir, that should have been enough to kill anyone!"

satan: "enough!"

jezebel spirit 1: "I followed the plan exactly as outlined. Make him very dizzy and nearly pass out, introduce him to other ideas, have someone attempt to outwit him as he is tired, and all of it failed as miserably as it could."

satan: "he knows his identity. So long as he is protected, I cannot kill him. that was why you were supposed to corrupt him."

jezebel spirit 1: "but he is too much."

evil spirit 1: "I did all that I could. but he already lived through the worst disease we could have possibly given him. he just won't die, and he won't age."

satan: "we should rest today."

evil spirit 2: "sir, I disabled the internet to his place as you requested, but it came back online, immediately."

evil spirit 3: "And I gave him a massive headache with the chemical trails outside, but all it did was make him more reassurred and stronger for it!"

jezebel spirit 1: "we have no choice sir. he will be returning to work soon. I cannot make this ice storm remain indefinitely. and without jezebel spirit 2's help, I cannot dare convince him to sell his soul to us. he has the programs, but my accomplice was killed in action when he tried to lure him in with riches and lust. my efforts have failed, even the plan to make him lust after the world's riches, all of them, just ended in complete failure; I could not corrupt him even once."

evil spirit 1: "and someone in that state should not be conscious, much less able to casually destroy a plan like that and make it backfire. jezebel spirit 2 died trying to convert him, and all it did was ruin our efforts."

evil spirit 5: "and I cannot make him turn, even on the highway. As jezebel spirit 2 was enacting his plan, evil spirit 4 tried to run him off the road, and he casually thwarted it."

jezebel spirit 1: "My power to make him dizzy, tired, and tempted to have rage is weakening. It won't be long before he drains my life force completely. The longer I hold on, the more authority he gains. his resistance enables him to drain the life out of me. shall I continue?"

satan: "continue as much as you can. if you stop, I will punish you."

evil spirit 1: "and what of us sir?"

satan: "rest, reconvene. I will kill him."
 
Last edited by MPRTwice,
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"evil spirit is down!"

satan: "another one?"

"yes, the attempt to start a stove fire backfired; he knew it was starting to smoke due to the charred food that slipepd past the metal grid".

"worse yet, our Karen failed; she tried to rile him up, but now she's in hot water!"

"I tried to send angry drivers his way, but he dismissed it."

satan: "who is this guy?"

"I don't know how he did it, but he broke jezebel spirit 1."

satan: "my cover is blown; we need to retre..."*stomp*

"come in, sir, come in!"

satan: "I'm....under...his...heel."

"roger that! all units prepare to disengage."
 
Thoughts?
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No thoughts, just reactions:

that is one interesting lie; I see no third of the earth burned, no blood for water, etc. in there.

And where are the locusts which afflict and cause many to wish to die, and where is hell that followed after many deaths, and the loosening of that regarding the river Euphrates? someone didn't Read History.
 
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jezebel spirit 4: "I'm tired. I tried everything, even trying to kill him eleven times during his work trip today. It all ended in failure. I can't go back to satan like this, he will kill me. But there is nowhere else to go. Why did I listen to him? Why did he bring me to this place of death, and a mere human mocks me?"

Me: I see you like to double-cross, jezebel spirit! Get it? double-cross? As in the double yellow lines on the road, your betrayal of a man's identity by having him double-cross the yellow lines on the road? Get it? double-cross, hahahaha!

jezebel spirit 4: "[redacted you you [redacted] little [redacted]."

Me: Yeah, I'm little: little arms lifting well over one hundred and sixty pounds on bench press, which is my weakest area, hitting with far too much force for your best to handle, and no fat on my arms to make me slow, and...

jezebel spirit 4: "just shut UP!"

Me: you want me to shut up? Then I will keep on going! Let's see, don't get the _cold_ shoulder.

jezebel spirit 4: "you [redacted] little...just [redacted] you [redacted] [redacted]."

Me: Aha! Profanity! The sign that you are at the end of your rope and have nothing left but bad words. what's the matter? Out of skill? Is this a skill issue?

jezebel spirit 4: :sad:
 
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