Injuries.

[Vulpes Abnocto]

This list omits all medical problems I've had to be treated for, and any purposely self-inflicted wounds. (emo teen)

Age 6: Running around barefoot in the yard. Stepped on an apple with a Japanese Wasp (aka Asian Giant Wasp) inside. Stung between my two smallest toes. Hurt like absolute hell.

Age 12: Nicked an artery in my left hand with a machete. Blood fountain. Four stitches.

Age 13: Blew myself up. Didn't realize that gasoline vapors tend to creep across the ground, (I thought they went straight up.) so I laid on the ground to light the pyre. Lost my eyebrows and any hair not covered by my hat. Minor burns on my neck.

Age 14: Ran into a small tree riding a motorcycle way to big for me. Broke a toe.

Also 14: Landed with my back across the metal portion of a trampoline, couldn't breathe for a few minutes.

Age 20: Tripped while running up steps, caught two fingers in the metal railing, broke them.

Age 22: Drove into the back of a stopped car, broke my windshield with my forehead, paramedics suspected concussion but I wouldn't go to the hospital.


EDIT: Oh, and around a hundred times I've had work related injuries. Hyper-extended knees, smashed thumbs, nails/screws in my feet, had a 6x6 beam dropped on my foot, hit on the head numerous times, pesticide sprayed in my eyes a few times, fell off a scaffold from heat stroke.

Like I said earlier: Ain't found no way to kill me yet.

 

[Hells Malice]

Eh several injuries. Usually just bruises and cuts. I've nearly broken my hand twice. Only my left, though...which is nice. Couldn't type for shit, but at least I could still move my mouse, haha.
I almost, or I should say I SHOULD have, broke my forearm when I blocked a baseball bat with it. Protip, don't fucking block a baseball bat. That's something you only do once.

Nothing terrible though. I've never actually broken anything. Just close calls.

One hilarious injury I got was when I was at work. I was just putting various BBQ utensils away. There was a package with various things hanging, and out of the corner of my eye I saw something fall from the package, I instinctively launched my arm out to grab it, but I clearly missed by a mile, because my arm landed on top of it. I ended up skewering my hand on a BBQ fork. Blood just started gushing out. I quickly grabbed some of this papery crap that they packed with the BBQ stuff I was putting away and wandered off to find someone to help me stop the violent bleeding.
We pretty much just put a wad of cotton and then a large bandaid over it and said "fuck it, that's good enough."
I got a 15 minute break out of it. It was nice.

 

[FireEmblemGuy]

Ripped my right big toe open and nearly tore the toenail off when I was little, a loose nailhead sticking up from a wooden floor near our dining room. Don't actually remember it being painful, just enough blood to make me wonder if I'd gotten spaghetti sauce from that night's dinner on my foot somehow.

I got sliced on the edge of thumb by a fastball when I was maybe 10, still a scar from that. Didn't even get walked for that, because the ump didn't see it.

Few more small scars on my hands and forearms from petsitting for the neighbors - the cat didn't much like people in her personal space, even if they didn't see here nearby. Dog liked to play rough, but usually without incident.

Probably a few minor scars or discolorations on my knees from all the foursquare or kickball I played in elementary (despite having a very large open space where one could've gone in, our kickball diamond was painted on the blacktop instead). I have a small black bit of something permanently lodged in my left knee; it'd be mistakable for an inkspot except it doesn't wipe or wash off and it's been there for years.

Quite a few times when my first bike would have issues simultaneously with braking and steering, leading me to try getting off the road safely and hitting fences or trees, but I don't think any of that left any scarring.

Now that I mentioned the bike thing, I do have to relate a story from my late pre-teen years. We got some neighbors together one weekend to play something that must've been like bike tag, spanning our yard, the next-door neighbors, and the now-vacant partially fenced in horse grazing pasture between his house and his next-door neighbors. Well, there was a section of fence cut out entirely, but the electrical wire (just a thin piece of wire with a fairly low current running through it) was still running across the fence from the segments around the opening. With the lighting and how thin that bit of wire was, it was hard to see if you didn't know it was there. A friend of mine tried biking trough the opening at close to full speed, not knowing the wire was there. It caught him by the neck. We all watched his bike roll on as he got caught and did nearly a full backflip around the thing, landing headfirst on the ground. Luckily, there wasn't a current running through there anymore, and it was definitely a step up from the barbed wire that'd been there a few years ago. He was fine, after having a couple minutes to catch his breath, but damn, that was scary to watch.

 

[Jennyfurr]

Wow.. so many reasons to just stay inside and calmly play video games, lol. Some of these stories are just.. really bad D: *hugs all your hurties* =P

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

Wow.. so many reasons to just stay inside and calmly play video games, lol. Some of these stories are just.. really bad D: *hugs all your hurties* =P

Why would anyone hug someone who hurts? Like people hug me all the time, usually whenever I say I hurt someplace and then they just make it hurt even more. WHY DO PEOPLE DO THESE THINGS.

 

[Jennyfurr]

Wow.. so many reasons to just stay inside and calmly play video games, lol. Some of these stories are just.. really bad D: *hugs all your hurties* =P

Why would anyone hug someone who hurts? Like people hug me all the time, usually whenever I say I hurt someplace and then they just make it hurt even more. WHY DO PEOPLE DO THESE THINGS.

LOL! I didn't think of that.. sorry! I won't hug anyone then >w< hehe

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

Wow.. so many reasons to just stay inside and calmly play video games, lol. Some of these stories are just.. really bad D: *hugs all your hurties* =P

Why would anyone hug someone who hurts? Like people hug me all the time, usually whenever I say I hurt someplace and then they just make it hurt even more. WHY DO PEOPLE DO THESE THINGS.

LOL! I didn't think of that.. sorry! I won't hug anyone then >w< hehe

Oh no ones complaining, just wondering why people do that! I mean I get why...it's just you'd think they'd have enough common sense to know where to hug.

 

[Vulpes Abnocto]

@[member='suprgamr232'] I think that's why dogs crawl off somewhere hard to reach when they get hurt.

 

[Foxi4]

Broken nose (set it back myself, did a good job too!), broken and dislocated clavicle (collar bone, the right one. Almost penetrated my pleura), various twists but nothing really serious other than that. You get lots of injuries when you start "free riding" but once you learn how to fall, you're good to go.

 

[Densetsu]

@[member='Vulpes Abnocto']

"You're a tough one my friend, a lesser man would be dead by now."

 

[Shinigami357]

I've had a couple sprains before, usually nothing more than needing to tape up an ankle for a week or so.

My worst injury by far was when I dislocated my left patella [kneecap; I'll never forget what that bone is called]. It literally went four inches above where it should have been, it was bulging in my thighs. Not sure how I didn't tear any muscles, or tendons or ligaments from that one.

Anyway, The doctors got it back in place and wrapped my leg in a cast, and then when they took an x-ray later, this one doctor says he saw a tumor or something there and ever so casually told me they'll have to cut my leg off. I fled after that, and counted myself lucky. Well, it did take around 10 months to heal properly [i.e. I couldn't walk for that long] but I kept my leg, so that's a fair trade.

I haven't been within half a mile of a hospital since. So far, leg's fine, no tumors or any of that shit. I think it might have been something with the x-ray. My knee doesn't quite look like a knee anymore, though, can't fully bend/fold it anymore and it has like no more power [for pushing off when you stand up and such]. It sucks coz I like to squat down, and you can't do that when one knee can't bend properly.

 

[Thesolcity]

Define "Injury" I have a rod in my back but I don't know if that counts.

 

[Shinigami357]

Define "Injury" I have a rod in my back but I don't know if that counts.

I daresay it should. Unless it was like due to scoliosis or something.

 

[Demonbart]

I have poland's syndrome (it comes in various degrees, but for me it means my right hand is deformed and I don't have any chest muscle tissue on the right side) unfortunately that also means that a certain bone in my right hand likes to delocate itself every now and then, which hurts like hell.

 

[jarejare3]

I don't know if this counts as an injury But i burn my left eye while cooking something when i was 9 or something. Apparently the gas stove was not switch off and i was too close to the ignition. The scars healed all but a small proportion of my eyes which stayed red.
I was afraid of fire a few months after that. then i grew accustom to the fire, but i was more caution of it then ever, That is until

2008 BlACK ROCK SHOOTER CAME OUT AND I WAS OBSESS BECAUSE HER LEFT EYE IS BURNING XD

 

[Thesolcity]

Define "Injury" I have a rod in my back but I don't know if that counts.

I daresay it should. Unless it was like due to scoliosis or something.

It was.

 

[Sora de Eclaune]

When I was a kid, one of my friends accidentally gave me a really poor nose job while we were playing baseball and substituted the baseball for a rock when we lost the ball over a fence.

To correct it, I had to officially get a nose job.

 

[4-leaf-clover]

Almost broke my neck cuz, We had to do a frontflip at school and i landed on my head....
And i broke my leg one time..

 

[alidsl]

After a plethora of injuries, there has yet to be one that I have "succumbed to".

Ain't found no way to kill me yet.

You mean to tell me that in the greatest RPG of all (called Real Life), you've never been taken down to 0 HP??

Spoiler

Neither have I

Relevant:

 

[Paarish]

Fractured my ankle because someone accidentally kicked it. How does someone accidentally kick an ankle? You walk in the way while they are pretending to kick a football
Deep cut in my big toe because I stood on a big metal tin. (That was when I was young and stupid though)
Pencil stuck in the palm of my right hand. It was so deep in it stood up by itself
I also have a hole in my eardrum but according to my doctor it's gone.