I was bored and wrote my own Twas the Night Before Christmas thingy, feel free too comment. ============== Twas the night before Christmas, and throughout my apartment, there was a mess in my bedroom, and cat poop on the carpet There was only one stocking, hung neatly with care, with the hopes I'd get something stuffed all up in there My Xbox was running, No Red Ring in sight, even though I played Halo all through the night When all of a sudden there was a terrible noise it came from the roof must've been those hood boys I ran to the window to see my surroundings when I caught wind of a fatty crawling around on the groundings. I took out my golf club and out of the door did I bolt, as I came face to face with the red shirted dolt I yelled "Hey, asshole! I'm trying to whiz! Do you have any idea what time that it is?" He turned right around, his eyes red as blood as he lunged towards me he crashed into me with a thud As I saw the face, of the demented wrinkled head I took notice that he as unusually undead It was Santa, for sure I thought to myself how the hell did he zombefy himself? He growed and he hissed in a terrible fashion I ran to my weapon and geared up for action I bashed him in the face with the cold iron stick as he fell to the ground I kicked him right in the dick I proceeded to decapitate as quickly as I could and pushed him in the lake tied to a big piece of wood I sighed with relief The fat man was dead sucks for the kids hoping to see the man in red. As I walk back in the house I hear a familiar sound A subtle ho ho ho coming from underground Santa wasn't dead I knew for a fact, he was coming to get the source of attack His hand shot out of the snow covered ground and grabbed my ankle bellowing a terrible sound Deeper and deeper, the hole it did go Was Santa's Hellhole down there? I surely didn't know. To the center of the Earth, our destination was clear It was obvious Zombie Santa resided right here And that is my story I'm now Santa's slave making zombie-like toys in his hellish brood cave If you ever see Santa the answers a cinch Run for your lives or become Zombie Santa's bitch.