If your console/PC could talk

[Eternal Myst]

If your console/PC could talk, what would it say to you?

PS3:Why did you sell me.

Xbox360:You bastard.Do you know how much you play with me.I am scared to get infected with RROD or something bish.

Wii:You've had Brawl in me for like 3 months straight, play something else goddamn.

Spoiler

PC:Stop stalking Costello,and downloading porn.

DS:Stop touching me.

PSP:So you bought me just to put me in a closet??????!!!....but it's dark in here

Snes:I love you,you love me we are the kickass family with a round of Darius Twin to beating Lavos.You know I love you,Kais?

 

[Costello]

why did you have to associate the words "costello" and "porn"

anyway here's my entry:
- NDS: "you should use me moar

and you should play my own games, not my little sister's (GBC)"
- PS2: "I can't believe you've forgotten about me! I've given you so much joy in the past!"
- GCN: "gang bang? you're friggin lending me to your friends!"
- GBA: "ohi my new master!"
- 360: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'M F*CKIN BANNED! NO MORE UPDATES! NO MORE COOL SHIT! dude, you suck!"
- PC: "ugggggggggggggh i'm tired, please let me rest!"

 

[Trolly]

Hehe, that's a rather good idea.

PC: You know there IS a power button on this thing, it IS possible to turn me off?!
Wii: You haven't got a game for me in ages :'(. All I've had is this piracy hacking crap! D*ckhead pirate guy!
DS: I don't think I've had a legal cartridge put in me for months! Shame on you!
PS2: I hate Sony. I hate DREs. I hate not being played. Someone play me pl0x? I'm lonely in the corner. :'(
NGC: Why do I have this sh*tty Donkey Konga sticker on me still?! I look like a complete wankstain. And it wouldn't hurt to use me instead of that high and mighty "Ooh, I'm fricking motion sensitive, look at my sexy whiteness!" thing. Purple box > White sh*t.

It's pretty hard to think of anything remotely imaginitive, but I tried!

 

[CockroachMan]

PC: Can I rest a little.. please?

Wii: Another Game Cube game? I'M A WII!!! YOU KNOW THAT???
DS: NO! NOT OUENDAN AGAIN!? SERIOUSLY MY SCREEN CAN'T RESIST MUCH LONGER! I'M TIRED OF THIS!

 

[Puxel]

360: I'm modded
Wii: I'm modded
PSP: I'm modded
DS: Well, he bought an R4.
Dreamcast: I'm not modded, but I can still read backups

 

[Eternal Myst]

360: I'm modded
Wii: I'm modded
PSP: I'm modded
DS: Well, he bought an R4.
Dreamcast: I'm not modded, but I can still read backups

Lewl you made me laugh...

 

[Trulen]

They're all screaming for a raise.

 

[Monster On Strin]

Pc- turn Me off RAWR its been days
NDS - you don't play with me since my hinge/neck broke DONT YOU LOVE ME *Erie scream*
*blows up*
PS2- WHAT YOUR GIVING ME AWAY YOU SON OF * interrupted by PC*-SHUT UP SOME OF US A TRYIN TO GET SOME SLEEP
GCN- *sits in corner silently*
PSP- CHARGE ME YOU COCK
Wii- you haven't used me in a while

 

[myuusmeow]

PS2- What ever happened to the good times we had? Now it's just Guitar Hero that and Guitar Hero this!
GC- I deserve a Guitar Hero!!!
PSP- Can't I just have 1 day were you don't play me?
DS- I'm allergic to dust you kno--ahchoo!!!
PC- Buy me a damn graphics card, everything about me is perfect but my Intel GMA 950!

 

[fischju]

PC - stop raising my damned voltage! 69C is too hot!
DS - What is this awful looking skin on my face?!

I don't have any consoles, so I'll add my PMP

605 - Why do you keep plugging those content barren thumbdrives into me!

 

[Shakraka]

PC: Stop watching porn please.
PS3: You never play me anymore since you beat MGS4

PS2: All you use me for is Guitar Hero, you dick.
SNES: Please blow off the dust on me ;_;
NDS: When was the last time you bought a game for me?

 

[El-ahrairah]

PC: Five years of faithful service! But why are parts of me encrypted...?
NDS: Ever since you got that pirate flashcart, we've been like peas in a pod!
360: Our UAV is online!
Wii: I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment.

PS2: My games are cheap, what did you bring home today?
Dreamcast: You'll come back, one day.
Xbox: You want to play Stranger's Wrath? On the 360? heh heh heh!

 

[deathfisaro]

PC: It's been like 3 months since you turned me off
PS3: Damn, Summer is really here *fan running at full speed*
360: Damn, Summer is *malfunction* oh crap *malfunction* hey at least I didn't RROD yet
PSP: Gundam Battle Universe coming out any time soon...? Play with me...
NDS: Hey~ I want you to violate my slot 1 with Acekard 2

Oh, no you can keep the R4.

 

[ZeWarrior]

PS3: Man its hot in here! Turn on the AC!
Wii: Play me! Did you buy me so your cousin plays with me?
PC(Mac): I have adware! Clean me up!!
DS: Oh why..how..did you lose me?
PSP: You bastard you cracked my screen

Poor, poor handhelds.

 

[zidane_genome]

PC : You know, I can do other stuff than browse GBATemp, run uTorrent, burn games, and watch porn, right?
XBOX : OMG! Thank you for the softmod! I love watching Doctor Who with you, and all the movies! OMG, Halo 1 and 2 load in almost no time, you rock!
Wii : Please put my screws back in... just till you get the WiiKey, you can take them out agian!
DS : buttons... hurt... buy the GH addon... please!
Sega Saturn : *sniff*... play with me? I'll show you half naked japanese school girls!

 

[Mewgia]

PC: Goddamn it boy get a fucking life, don't just sit and use me all day for nothing more than wasting time, playing games, and watching porn (how the hell did this nerd ever get a girlfriend...)
PS2: I'm glad I left you for your sister, she plays me a hell of a lot more
Wii: Stop wasting time on those goddamn forums and play me more than twice a month
DS: I do more things than play Gameboy Games and MP3s, you know...
PSP: I'm glad you sold me, your shelf was dusty as hell
Gameboy Advanced SP: *sigh* at least your brother plays me sometimes
Gameboy Micro: Hey SP, you think you have it bad? I just sit in my box all day because I'm a limited run so my owner doesn't want me out unless he's playing me. And guess how often he plays me? Never, until he coughs up the cash for a GBA flashcart. Which could mean never since he's a goddamn cheapass.
Gameboy Advance: I Do play Gameboy advanced games you know
Gameboy Color: Havn't been turned on in ages...
XBox: When is that cheapskate going to just cough up $5 for James Bond Agent Under Fire to mod me instead of waiting for some flake liar to deliver it on Goozex
N64: You haven't turned me on or even plugged me in in two years. Asshole.
Sega Genesis: I've been sitting in your parents' TV drawer for two years, can you play me? Please?

 

[Cermage]

PC: PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN games PORN PORN PORN INTERNETSSSSSS
Xbox: ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME ANIME
DS: Damn am i a utility or something? STOP USING ME TO DO OTHER THINGS, PLAY GAMES ONCE IN A WHILE. GODAMMIT
PSP: BUY ME SOME BATTERY FUCKER SO I CAN LEAVE THE HOUSE.
GBC: where the hell am i? i don't see anything, its dusty and i don't like it here

PSX: ....w....at.... i....s.... w...r..ong....w...i...th....me.....

 

[Eternal Myst]

i forgot all about my GBA.

GBA:well um....you haven't played me in a while..........you should come back to good old classic 2D...well atleast your sister plays me every once in a while...but i feel lonely....

 

[jalaneme]

pc: stop dam hitting me for christ sake!
ps2: why don't you love me anymore
Wii: yay i want to play games!...huh i'm not turned on, why don't you play with me anymore?
ps3: cough huff oof someone please help me! i'm suffocating in all this dust!
psp: i love you
ds: you don't touch me at night anymore

 

[NINTENDO DS]

Nintendo DS:I have been on for 97 hours you fucker.
Turn me off!