I-I hate my hands...

[BeatriceTheGolde]

Maybe it's been too long or too obscure for anyone to remember or care...

But a few years ago, I wrote something in the shoutbox about how I have massive hands.

Like, they're fucking huge. This was two years ago, when I was 15. I linked to a picture of my hand next to a ruler.

From above the wrist to the tip of my middle finger, I had eight inches. Now it's nearing ten.

Sure, sure, people can assume hand size correlates to penis size. But I don't really care about that.

I can clap louder than most people.

I even have a really good handshake.

But there's one thing I can't do.

Hold hands with someone.

I mean. I can hold hands with someone if we both pretend we're wearing mittens.

But I can't interlace my fingers with anyone else.

My fingers are too thick...

When I try, after a few minutes they tell me that they want to let go because it hurts...

Oh God, I'm never going to be loved by anyone ;-;

 

[CyrusBlue]

I have big hands too but my fingers aren't thick.

That sucks bro but you'll meet someone with a thick finger fetish and they will never leave you alone.

 

[Deleted User]

Let's trade hands yo. Mine are about 7 inches from the two points you indicated. My pinky is weak and only 2 inches. I need bigger hands for forming barre chords and other difficult techniques on the guitar.

One man's trash is another man's treasure I guess.

 

[Rydian]

Picture please?

 

[War]

 

[science]

ScuberSteve SMASH!!!!

 

[BeatriceTheGolde]

ScuberSteve SMASH!!!!
science is my saviour

 

[Twiffles]

I admit, I was tempted to post the lamprey fingers picture but I felt bad.

 

[BeatriceTheGolde]

I admit, I was tempted to post the lamprey fingers picture but I felt bad.

Ugh. I really do hate that picture. And lamprey penis. That ones' fucking gross too.

No matter how fake they are.

In fact, this picture is totally fake. But it's still strangely disturbing.

This one's also clearly fake, but still skin crawl inducing.

As for pics of my own hands (and probably size references), that has to wait.

Everyone else in the house is asleep, the camera's downstairs, and I'm going to church early tomorrow and partying it up at night.

 

[Twiffles]

Ugh. I really do hate that picture. And lamprey penis. That ones' fucking gross too.

It's all part of the plan, baby.

 

[Cermage]

fatass.

both of those pics look hella fake. there's that one of the breast that looks surprisingly real.

 

[BeatriceTheGolde]

fatass.

both of those pics look hella fake. there's that one of the breast that looks surprisingly real.

TOO BAD I CAN'T POST IT.

 

[saxamo]

Can i have them. I've always wanted four hands i can be Goro for halloween. oh and i'm sorry but hey just live with it. Maybe youll get a job as a wierd hand model, or you can punch suckaz out.

 

[yuyuyup]

your hands are like huge butterflies helping our lord molest the air with every gesture

 

[astrangeone]

Ahem. *recovers from lotus root pictures*

Spoiler

Girls like wide fingers...down there. It's not the length of the object, it's the width that's felt.

Also, it's better to have large hands and thick fingers than to have small hands. I still can get away with wearing kids magic gloves and normal adult gloves never fit me. The phrase "fits like a glove" does not apply to me.