Games or relationships?

[eltrut]

Well I'm currently on the phone to my better half arrguing about how i play games late at night instead of calling her because during the day i only ever work (anywhere from 20-40 hours a week) or see her so i have no other time to myself.

Which would you choose in this situation? Games or girlfriend?

 

[Sstew]

If you really like this girl, then you need to call her, not every night, but for instance, call her Tueday night, play video games on Wednesday, you need to alternate the two. or in your situation thats what I'd do. IMO Relationships are way more important than video games.

 

[eltrut]

That's what i brought it back to in the end. It just seems a waste having 1000's of dollars of electroics and hardly using them.

 

[dewp]

are you serious

?

Unless your gf is a fat mess who eats her own excrement ,relationships are obviously more important than games.

 

[tinymonkeyt]

if you like her (you should, because why else would she be your gf in the first place?) then this decision shouldnt even be that hard.

if you play video games and shirk off your girl, here are the cons:
-youre paying money for something that only lasts a few years until the next big game comes out
-your eyes get worse. theoretically.
-you waste your time. yes, its fun. but games dont really accomplish anything
-you lose the girl. you might. id be pretty pissed if a bf was playing games instead of talking to me. of course, id be playing games too.

i think its just a basic choice between your girl and video games. if you keep playing games and never call the girl, you will lose the girl. if you keep the girl by calling her, you might be able to still play games at times. call AND play. just balance out your time

 

[Ace Gunman]

are you serious

?

Unless your gf is a fat mess who eats her own excrement ,relationships are obviously more important than games.
It would depend on the relationship. If all she wants is to take take take, then that's not much of a relationship is it? This shouldn't need to be said, but many don't understand that a relationship should be equal parts give and take on both sides. No matter what some would have you believe. And free time, time to be alone is also important.

If you have a partner (girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, lover, etc) then you have a personal obligation to spend time with that person. But nowhere is it said that ALL of your time should be with them. In fact, it's best if it isn't. People, even the best of friends and most gooshy of lovebirds need a break now and again.

This status quo is further altered when you have a particularly demanding job. Given that at the moment the creator of this topic has to choose between games and his girlfriend in time allotment, I would assume that's the case. At that point your time is usually divided even further.

Lets say the average person is a 9 to 5er. That's an 8 hour shift. Said average person is also awake for only about 16 hours, give or take. And it's suggested that you get around 8 hours of sleep. So that's 8 hours for work, 8 hours to sleep for a total of 16 hours.

That gives you around 8 hours of free time left over. Now, factor in meals, showers, and other day to day duties and that time is further lessened. Lets cut it down to 6 for the sake of this example. That's 6 hours in a day you have to yourself and can allot to anything you wish.

If you spend time at the gym, have friends, a family, a hobby, etc. The amount of time you actually have to yourself becomes almost nonexistent.

I'll cut to the chase: the preferred solution would be to play video games WITH your girlfriend. That way you're spending quality time together AND enjoying your favorite recreational activity. But that won't work for a couple who doesn't share interests.

If you feel you are in a relationship where you have to give up a huge part of what makes you you to keep it afloat, it may not be the relationship for you. Furthermore you must ask yourself "What is she giving up?". If she's just sitting around home doing nothing waiting for your phone call, perhaps she needs to reevaluate her own time use methods.


EDIT: I missed this while I was posting originally, so I'll reply now:
QUOTE(tinymonkeyt @ Feb 24 2009, 11:03 AM) if you like her (you should, because why else would she be your gf in the first place?) then this decision shouldnt even be that hard.

if you play video games and shirk off your girl, here are the cons:
-youre paying money for something that only lasts a few years until the next big game comes out
-your eyes get worse. theoretically.
-you waste your time. yes, its fun. but games dont really accomplish anything
-you lose the girl. you might. id be pretty pissed if a bf was playing games instead of talking to me. of course, id be playing games too.

i think its just a basic choice between your girl and video games. if you keep playing games and never call the girl, you will lose the girl. if you keep the girl by calling her, you might be able to still play games at times. call AND play. just balance out your time

Your cons on the matter are illogical. It's not difficult to come up with a multitude of silly reasons for someone not to do something. Here are some humorous counterpoints to the above to prove my point...

If you choose a girl over a personal interest (video games), here are the cons:
-You're paying money for a relationship that could only last a few years and turn out to be a waste of time.
-She could cheat on you, get AIDS, give the AIDS to you, and you could die. Theoretically.
-You waste your time. Yes it's fun, but it doesn't really accomplish anything unless your intention is to have children.
-You could lose a lifelong passion and interest, something that may be as much a part of you as any limb.

Any of the above is an actual possibility (though they're phrased and intended to be as unlikely as possible). As you can see, one can make up a silly reason for not doing anything. Don't take the bus because a plane could lose altitude and crash down on top of you. Blah blah, etc.

Relationships are important, but again, it's give and take. No one, man OR woman should have to give up more than their partner. That's not equality, and it's not fair. There are rare exceptions such as one person having to move into the other's place. However when it comes to interests and the elements of your life that make you who you are, that shouldn't be the case.

And if you do decide to concede, then she should do the same. If you have to give up video games in order to make the relationship work (depending on how much you actually care for this relationship) then she too should have to give up something she loves. Equality isn't one partner demanding something and the other conceding and being miserable, it's equal effort, equal loss and equal gain on both sides.

This goes for anyone who reads this: any man or woman who wants you to give up everything for them is not a mate worth having. Don't sell out who you are for someone else, no relationship is worth that.


P.S. - Do try to keep in mind that the results of this poll/topic will likely be skewed. We gamers and internet folk aren't known for having the most active of love lives, and many people here would give up their very souls to receive interest from the opposite (or same) gender. Some would do anything for love and sex.

 

[DarkWay]

I'd say relationship because whats more important to you? playing a game which will be fun for a few hours each day or your social life and relationship.

Games are fun for a while but in my opinian (whilst being an avid gamer myself) my girlfriend is more important and you can have more fun with your girl or boy than you can play a game, but ots entirely up to you

 

[Morgawr]

are you serious

?

Unless your gf is a fat mess who eats her own excrement ,relationships are obviously more important than games.
It would depend on the relationship. If all she wants is to take take take, then that's not much of a relationship is it? This shouldn't need to be said, but many don't understand that a relationship should be equal parts give and take on both sides. No matter what some would have you believe. And free time, time to be alone is also important.

If you have a partner (girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, lover, etc) then you have a personal obligation to spend time with that person. But nowhere is it said that ALL of your time should be with them. In fact, it's best if it isn't. People, even the best of friends and most gooshy of lovebirds need a break now and again.

This status quo is further altered when you have a particularly demanding job. Given that at the moment the creator of this topic has to choose between games and his girlfriend in time allotment, I would assume that's the case. At that point your time is usually divided even further.

Lets say the average person is a 9 to 5er. That's an 8 hour shift. Said average person is also awake for only about 16 hours, give or take. And it's suggested that you get around 8 hours of sleep. So that's 8 hours for work, 8 hours to sleep for a total of 16 hours.

That gives you around 8 hours of free time left over. Now, factor in meals, showers, and other day to day duties and that time is further lessened. Lets cut it down to 6 for the sake of this example. That's 6 hours in a day you have to yourself and can allot to anything you wish.

If you spend time at the gym, have friends, a family, a hobby, etc. The amount of time you actually have to yourself becomes almost nonexistent.

I'll cut to the chase: the preferred solution would be to play video games WITH your girlfriend. That way you're spending quality time together AND enjoying your favorite recreational activity. But that won't work for a couple who doesn't share interests.

If you feel you are in a relationship where you have to give up a huge part of what makes you you to keep it afloat, it may not be the relationship for you. Furthermore you must ask yourself "What is she giving up?". If she's just sitting around home doing nothing waiting for your phone call, perhaps she needs to reevaluate her own time use methods.


EDIT: I missed this while I was posting originally, so I'll reply now:
QUOTE(tinymonkeyt @ Feb 24 2009, 11:03 AM) if you like her (you should, because why else would she be your gf in the first place?) then this decision shouldnt even be that hard.

if you play video games and shirk off your girl, here are the cons:
-youre paying money for something that only lasts a few years until the next big game comes out
-your eyes get worse. theoretically.
-you waste your time. yes, its fun. but games dont really accomplish anything
-you lose the girl. you might. id be pretty pissed if a bf was playing games instead of talking to me. of course, id be playing games too.

i think its just a basic choice between your girl and video games. if you keep playing games and never call the girl, you will lose the girl. if you keep the girl by calling her, you might be able to still play games at times. call AND play. just balance out your time

Your cons on the matter are illogical. It's not difficult to come up with a multitude of silly reasons for someone not to do something. Here are some humorous counterpoints to the above to prove my point...

If you choose a girl over a personal interest (video games), here are the cons:
-You're paying money for a relationship that could only last a few years and turn out to be a waste of time.
-She could cheat on you, get AIDS, give the AIDS to you, and you could die. Theoretically.
-You waste your time. Yes it's fun, but it doesn't really accomplish anything unless your intention is to have children.
-You could lose a lifelong passion and interest, something that may be as much a part of you as any limb.

Any of the above is an actual possibility (though they're phrased and intended to be as unlikely as possible). As you can see, one can make up a silly reason for not doing anything. Don't take the bus because a plane could lose altitude and crash down on top of you. Blah blah, etc.

Relationships are important, but again, it's give and take. No one, man OR woman should have to give up more than their partner. That's not equality, and it's not fair. There are rare exceptions such as one person having to move into the other's place. However when it comes to interests and the elements of your life that make you who you are, that shouldn't be the case.

And if you do decide to concede, then she should do the same. If you have to give up video games in order to make the relationship work (depending on how much you actually care for this relationship) then she too should have to give up something she loves. Equality isn't one partner demanding something and the other conceding and being miserable, it's equal effort, equal loss and equal gain on both sides.

This goes for anyone who reads this: any man or woman who wants you to give up everything for them is not a mate worth having. Don't sell out who you are for someone else, no relationship is worth that.


P.S. - Do try to keep in mind that the results of this poll/topic will likely be skewed. We gamers and internet folk aren't known for having the most active of love lives, and many people here would give up their very souls to receive interest from the opposite (or same) gender. Some would do anything for love and sex.

I was going to write a long wall of text but this basically sums up all I wanted to say, I totally agree with you, 100%. That is a mature vision from somebody who actually, in my opinion, has been through this and knows what he's talking about. You're right though, thinking that most people here (on the Internet, not just on gbatemp) would sell their souls just for some sex and "love", but what some don't seem to understand is that to make a relationship work you must take too, not just give. It'd do no good if you just give all your "love" to the person you love just because you could be with her instead of doing something else. That way you'd be actually spoiling her and she'd feel that she can do whatever she wishes to do because you'd always be there for her, so she would be the one "selfish" who does what she wants to do and get all the fun

However, after being in a relationship myself (and I still am ^^) I can say that it's an even 50/50. When you feel like staying with her you do (provided you can and there are no other external limitations) and when you feel like dedicating some time for yourself you should tell it to your girl and just do it afterward (obviously be diplomatic with this, nothing like "I do what the fuck I want, bitch!" >_>' though some girls seem to like it.. ._.). But keep in mind that she may want the same for her, so grant her some time for herself to spend with her friends or just with her hobbies, and don't expect her to be always with you when you want her to.
With my girlfriend now we're quite open in this, whenever I feel like I'm not getting enough game-time I can just tell her and we can be in the same room doing different things, me gaming and playing the DS and her doing whatever she likes, which usually is reading books and watching tv just to relax. Also I can always cover that up with saying it's my "job" as a programmer to stay on the computer (since she says I'm a lot skilled in this, she feels bad if she doesn't let me use my skills with a computer xD so I kind of exploit that since it leads to an almost certain yes lol ^^).
Obviously, the same reasoning goes for her.


Well, looks like I ended up writing a wall of text nonetheless.. >_>'

 

[rikuumi]

err?? who nees GF or BF? i need games , games and games!!

 

[Raki]

err?? who nees GF or BF? i need games , games and games!!

and die unhappy and lonely?

 

[Prophet]

Relationships. Unless it violates the M.O.B. clause.

In which case it's Miyamoto Over B*tches.

 

[Morgawr]

err?? who nees GF or BF? i need games , games and games!!

and die unhappy and lonely?

Actually, define happiness. I've heard of lots of people being more unhappy and lonely when married/engaged than when being single. Obviously that isn't universal, just don't take it that if a person doesn't want a relationship will end up being lonely and sad. Because it's untrue.

 

[Raki]

err?? who nees GF or BF? i need games , games and games!!

and die unhappy and lonely?

Actually, define happiness. I've heard of lots of people being more unhappy and lonely when married/engaged than when being single. Obviously that isn't universal, just don't take it that if a person doesn't want a relationship will end up being lonely and sad. Because it's untrue.

well, I would think gaming is some kind of drug...lasts shortly and doesn't statisfy you for a long time...at least those are my experiences with "being happy through games"
I realised back then, that games let you miss out so much fun...games make you happy as long as you don't see what you are missing

 

[Ace Gunman]

err?? who nees GF or BF? i need games , games and games!!

and die unhappy and lonely?

Actually, define happiness. I've heard of lots of people being more unhappy and lonely when married/engaged than when being single. Obviously that isn't universal, just don't take it that if a person doesn't want a relationship will end up being lonely and sad. Because it's untrue.

Agreed, Morgawr. And after all, Raki, who's to say his bliss isn't playing video games? Finding ultimate happiness in the throws of a relationship isn't a universal trait. Some are happiest while driving, working, swimming, meditating, etc. Not everyone craves a relationship as the end-all be-all of human joy.

Of course there are those that can only and will only find true bliss upon uniting with someone they've come to care for, but that's not a universal truth that applies to all sentient beings.

 

[Maz7006]

A mix of both for me, i guess i am able to put my games aside once in a while.

 

[Morgawr]

err?? who nees GF or BF? i need games , games and games!!

and die unhappy and lonely?

Actually, define happiness. I've heard of lots of people being more unhappy and lonely when married/engaged than when being single. Obviously that isn't universal, just don't take it that if a person doesn't want a relationship will end up being lonely and sad. Because it's untrue.

well, I would think gaming is some kind of drug...lasts shortly and doesn't statisfy you for a long time...at least those are my experiences with "being happy through games"
I realised back then, that games let you miss out so much fun...games make you happy as long as you don't see what you are missing

I have to disagree.. I can understand your view of gaming from a perspective of those games like FPS and non-intelligent (not to talk bad about them, but just that they don't require the use of a lot of intellect) but there are other games, however rare, that taught me a lot. RPGs, hell, even puzzle games and mostly games with story that are not that far from books. And I myself am a person that reads a lot and I bet you can't apply the same statement you made for games on books, books leave something (good books at least), with their stories and characters that remain in your heart. I can say the same is for some videogames. Not all of them, as I've already said, but some yeah. And those are the games that is worth playing, the rest is worth playing just to relax from real life and have some straight fun. But some games are really the top and can even teach a couple of things... So I wouldn't say they don't leave anything to us on the long run.. it's quite the opposite actually ^^

ps: however I agree that games are, in general, less important than real life relationships (and not just love relationships). At least in my opinion.

 

[DeadLocked]

Games are great but I voted Relationship. I prefer Intelligent games over mind numbing FPS and Halo 3 is actually a nice blend of FPS and Imaginative gaming so I like it. Plus Guitar hero makes you feel great when you pull off a great solo on expert. So I like games a lot since I'm shy. I can talk the living crap outta people on the net

 

[kevenka]

The girl...should be a no brainer lol

 

[FAST6191]

My theory on this is much like my theory on parenting, any fool can sit on the sofa (or in this case phone) for hours but to actually go and do something represents something far more meaningful.

If that is not enough then try again with someone else.

 

[spotanjo3]

Now that's a stupid question. The relationship is more important than Game but remember that a relationship is not for everyone.