Dealing with a narcissist

[HippyJ3]

I have an acquaintance like this in the past and it was a horrible experience.

Long Version

1st Scenario
He told me that he plans to buy a brand new Nintendo DS, then I said to him, hey, In three years time Nintendo 3DS will be released, it could be better than the DS, why don't you save more money and buy that instead, just a suggestion though, then he got upset for no reason and said to me, so what are you trying to prove?!!

Hey chill, I'm just trying to tell you the latest fads no need to get upset.

2nd Scenario
We traded video games, I only want one title from his collection, but he takes three from my collection and still wants more.

3rd Scenario
He came at my house one time on a rainy day, we were playing PS1 back at the time, then suddenly, the rain got stronger and flood started to enter inside the house, I put down my controller and quickly do everything I can to prevent more water gushing inside the house, while he stays comfy sitting on the sofa playing while watching me
struggle to stop the water from coming in, did not even offer to help, his reason? it's not my house so why should I help?.

4th Scenario
We agreed to borrow each other's game boy game cartridges, then the day arrived when we returned each others cartridges, mine was returned damaged and unusable while his cartridge was returned in the same condition the day he lend it to me, I got disheartened and addressed my complaint, he shifted the blame unto me and said you're the one who wants to borrow games from me, yet he also agreed to borrow my cartridge that time since he also wants to play it.

5th Scenario (Final Nail In The Coffin)
he usually comes to my home to get copies of some software burned in a disc for a small fee, one day he asked me to come over to his house since one of the copies did not work on his disc reader but I told him no because I am minding my shop and no one can take my place, additionally I can't afford to lose customers and potential profits by closing my shop just to come over to his house and replace the disc that did not work for him, and before he tried the disc at his home, I demonstrated right in front of him that the copy is in perfectly working condition before he left my house that day, I explained to him that his reader is very old and can't read burned copies all the time, I told him if you want it replaced, you can come back at my place and I'll give you a new copy, I really can't come to your house because it would be unfair to the other people patronizing my services and I don't do deliveries, but he still insists that I should do what he asked of me, then I said, okay, if you want me to bring it to your home that badly, give me an additional (20 cents in american conversion) since I have to walk three kilometers to his home and three kilometers back home (total of 6 kilometers), he refused my suggestion and starts to slander me with a fit of rage and throws tantrums like a 10 year old, he was not asking, he was demanding, cut all contact with him since then.

Additional Note: His Facebook Posts Only Consists of Him Showing Off His Achievements, Material Possessions, And How Great He Is On His Field of Expertise.


My Experience With A Narcissist Stated Above

Short Version
- Has An Inflated Sense of Ego
- Constant Need Of Validation By Showing Off His Achievements and Material Possessions
- High Sense of Entitlement
- Can't Take No For An Answer
- Cannot Accept Compromises, It should be his way or the highway
- Walking on Eggshells (Gets Mad For Petty Reasons)
- No Empathy
- No Respect For Boundaries
- Gets Upset If You Have Better Ideas Than Him
- Takes More Than He Gives
- Disregards Your Point of View And Feelings And Are Only Concerned Of Their Own Well Being and Benefit
- Takes No Responsibility For His Wrong Actions And Shifts The Blame Unto You.

Since then I'm very picky when it comes to making friends, watch at their reactions once you tell them no if they are being unreasonable and they will show their true colors much earlier than you expected. That'll save you from all their BS and to prevent them from taking you for granted.

 

[Creamu]

I strongly suspect my father is narcissistic. What personal advice do you have, web pages and books to read and so on?

Just compliment, smile and slowly walk backwards.

 

[Marc_LFD]

The best way to not let narcissistis infuriate you (as they belittle others) is by ignoring them. They know the power words have and they abuse it.

And what do they also do? Play the victim card.

I wish people could realize how damaging they are to others.

 

[Creamu]

This thread fills me with sorrow...

 

[mr_switch]

Best is totally cut them out of your life, trust me they get worse as they age. You don't want to be around them when they are old and senile, the abuse only worsens

 

[billim77]

hi. i absolutely agree with us

 

[aoikurayami]

I have in my mind two certain staff members, one if the is Narcissist, and the other is Egocentric.

Good thing someone else got that aswell...

Just take advantage of it.
Shower your dad with compliments and make him feel he is the best, you can then ask for whatever you want and you will get it.

Originally I intented to refute this point by claiming that petting a wall might be more sensible...


But.
I'm surprised that behind that animu doggo muzzle so much shrewdness can be found.

I won't ask where it comes from....

 

[JuanMena]

behind that animu doggo muzzle so much shrewdness can be found.

I won't ask where it comes from....

Purina PRO Plan?

 

[Kraken_X]

I hate my Dad. I wanted to go see BTS but he didn't let me. Because I didn't do my chores blah blah. It's only stupid chores not that big of a deal. I can do them later. I think my Dad is a narcissist. All he cares about is himself and his rules. Always looking in the mirror thinking he's hot and tries to impress that women across the street. Ew gross. He doesn't care how I feel, this is a once in a lifetime chance to see BTS. Chores I can do later and problem solved. But BTS is only one chance. He's too strict and uptight I hate him. I hate dealing with a Narcissist..

Assuming that this isn't sarcastic, you come across as an entitled brat, and your father comes across as someone trying to teach you basic responsibility. You had responsibilities; things you agreed to do, you then you didn't do them. As a result, you got punished. In the workplace, if your boss says do these three things, and you don't do them, he is not a narcissist for firing you.

What you should have done is to do the chores, apologize for not doing them sooner, explain how important going to the BTS concert is to you, and then offer to bargain; such as taking on extra chores or covering part of the cost. Show how important it is to you through both action and words, not just whining. BTS tickets are crazy expensive, so that's actually a pretty big ask, and money might be tight.