NOR and PSRAM are both methods that are used to write GBA games to the card's memory. The differences are that NOR is more permanent. You can write a game to NOR mode and it will never be erased until you choose to write another game. PSRAM makes the rom disappear as soon as you poweroff the system. PSRAM will hold any game up to 16MB, NOR will hold any game up to 32MB. NOR is required for some of the larger games such as Kingdom Hearts COM and Mother 3.
The other difference is that NOR is a lot slower to write games to. It will take several minutes to write a large game to NOR, whereas writing a game into PSRAM will take only about 15 seconds or less.
I can't help you much with your other queries, because I don't have a cyclo. I will tell you that if you can't get the cyclo to work properly with your 3-in-1, use the separate DS software GBAexploader. It's made specifically FOR the 3-in-1 and works on ANY slot 1 card. It's surpassed most of the loaders attempted by slot 1 makers so far. It can control GBA roms, rumble, and memory expansion. So I find it good to have.