Gaming 10 ways Microsoft's retail stores will differ from Apple's

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VVoltz

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10 not-yet-announced facts for the soon to be open Microsoft Retail Stores in the US:

1. Instead of Apple's sheer walls of glass, Microsoft's stores will have brushed steel walls dotted with holes—reminiscent of Windows security.

2. The store will have six different entrances: Starter, Basic, Premium, Professional, Enterprise, and Ultimate. While all six doors will lead into the same store, the Ultimate door requires a fee of US$100 for no apparent reason.

3. Instead of a Genius Bar (as Apple provides) Microsoft will offer an Excuse Bar. It will be staffed by Microsofties trained in the art of evading questions, directing you to complicated and obscure fixes, and explaining it's a problem with the hardware—not a software bug.

4. The Windows Genuine Advantage team will run storefront security, assuming everybody is a thief until they can prove otherwise.

5. Store hours are undetermined. At any given time the store mysteriously shuts down instantaneously for no apparent reason. (No word yet on what happens to customers inside).

6. Stores will be named Microsoft Live Retail Store with PC Services for Digital Lifestyle Enthusiasts.

7. Fashioned after Microsoft's User Account Control (UAC) in Vista, sales personnel will ask you whether you're positive you want to purchase something at least twice.

8. Xbox 360 section of the store will be organized in a ring—which will inexplicably go red occasionally.

9. DreamWorks will design a scary in-store theme park ride called "blue screen of death."

10. Store emergency exits will be unlocked at all times so people can get in anytime they want even if the front doors are locked.

Take it with a smile =)
Original story here.
 
lmfao i thought this was going to be serious

11. there will be free internet access, if you wish to do any thing it will cost you $49.99 a year, also if you want to bring your laptop along remeber $99 for wifi
 
biggrin.gif
haha its really true. Especially the rrod, i like that one.
 
Blue screen of death the ride.
Now thats gotta be an awesome ride.

They better have "I survived the blue screen of death" T-shirts. And they better be in blue.....

Personally I think an MS store wouldn't be too bad.
They tend to go the extra mile sometimes.
I'm sure it'll be a hundred times better than the OS.

Though the Linux store has always been a little funky.
Not a single employee. All do it yourself.
Also not much of a market, being mostly free.
More like a picnic basket really.
Or maybe an apple tree or something.

Hmm, that makes me thirsty.

I'll see you guys at the excuse bar.
 
Good one. I wasn't aware that MS was going to open up their won stores. Is it just in America or are they opening in Australia as well.
 
shadow1w2 said:
Though the Linux store has always been a little funky.
Not a single employee. All do it yourself.
Also not much of a market, being mostly free.
More like a picnic basket really.
Or maybe an apple tree or something.

Hmm, that makes me thirsty.

I'll see you guys at the excuse bar.
Lol an Linux Store

That would be awesome

Think anyone would be able to set one of those up?
 
VVoltz said:
7. Fashioned after Microsoft's User Account Control (UAC) in Vista, sales personnel will ask you whether you're positive you want to purchase something at least twice.
"I would like to purchase this please."
laugh.gif

"Are you sure?"
smileipb2.png

"Yes?"
huh.gif

"Are you reallly sure?"
smileipb2.png
smileipb2.png

"I SAID FUCKIN YES"
*Blue screen of death*
"OMF@%*&#*%&#*%&#%#%"

smileipb2.png
 
shadow1w2 said:
Blue screen of death the ride.
Now thats gotta be an awesome ride.

They better have "I survived the blue screen of death" T-shirts. And they better be in blue.....

damn straight they should, haha, i loled at this article.

hmm, maybe at the store they have a MY section, offering my document printing, my picture development?

Me: Hi i like to have my picture developed.
MS salesman: sure it will take 10 mins
---10 mins later----
Me: hi i like collect my photograph please
MS: sure, gimme a moment
---Hands over package---
ME:!^%& WTF, this isn't my picture, wait a min... is that your face?
MS: MS has encounter a illegal operation and needs to be closed.

----Me gets kicked out of MS store----
 
Trolly said:
Aha, that's all too funny.
12. Paperclip store guide?
I'll leave you to think of some funny quotes for that
biggrin.gif
.

Me: I need help.
Assistent: Yeah, sure...what kind?
Me: Um...I got a question about X (insert bitching about prog not working or something)
Assistant: You've got questions, we've got dancing paperclips.
Me: OMFG. O.o
 
Trolly said:
Aha, that's all too funny.
12. Paperclip store guide?
I'll leave you to think of some funny quotes for that
biggrin.gif
.

Xbox bluntly smashed into the face. Or em.... paper clip.

Who doesn't hate that thing?
 
Mwharhar 10 points !

QUOTE said:
maxonly says:
Re: 10 ways Microsoft's retail stores will differ from Apple's

they will be disguised as pawn shops or porn stores so you wont be quite as embarrassed going into one.
 
shadow1w2 said:
Though the Linux store has always been a little funky.
Not a single employee. All do it yourself.
Also not much of a market, being mostly free.
More like a picnic basket really.
Or maybe an apple tree or something.

well, of course the customers first have to build the store too.
laugh.gif
 
UltraMagnus said:
shadow1w2 said:
Though the Linux store has always been a little funky.
Not a single employee. All do it yourself.
Also not much of a market, being mostly free.
More like a picnic basket really.
Or maybe an apple tree or something.

well, of course the customers first have to build the store too.
laugh.gif
.compilebrick
.placebrick

rinse, wash, repeat
 
Lol
biggrin.gif


13. The store will have an unique display of wooden horses with a bunch of spartans inside to completge the decoration. This decision was made by the store owner himself, that declared he also added the AVG Free, but made no difference on the outcome.
 

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