I was placed into the custody of my grandparents as a child, following child abuse.
I do not resent my parents at all.
My cousin was likewise abused by her mother.
My students say I am the most patient and encouraging teacher they ever had, and my cousin became a dedicated mother; we knew _exactly_ where the pitfalls were, and instead of a cycle of easygoing/rough upbringing, I broke it by using a high expectations and high encouragement approach: "Mr. G, you're very chill and like to joke around a lot, yet when it comes to the rules and the classwork you lay it out to us straight."
"how do you have a 'kind and strict at the same time' approach?"
"This is the only place on campus I feel safe."
"What? What do you mean you never had a fight in your classroom?"
"Mr. G____, your classroom management is unheard of."
Me: "fellas! I merely transplanted what I learned from South Korean Special Forces into a classroom setting. The CO never yelled, never had to raise his voice, yet commanded attention. he was as friendly as a grandpa, until he would flare up and drop me like a sack of bricks. he made it cleat that he didn't want us to waste one second worrying about him blowign the whistle on us; all of that effort was instead on the technique!"
Me: "that is why as long as you are working on the projects with your full effort, you may talk about anything appropriate you like: pokemon, elden ring, Martial Arts, football, weightlifting, that horrible band called 'one direction' at the same time."
Many times we worked past the bell: "well, that's a high compliment, folks! if you forgot what time class ends, and I did too, then We must have enjoyed it!"
That's the thing about people who grew up abused like us; We tend to have the potential to be great leaders or parents; we learned what not to do; that's pretty much how engineering works.
And in a media example, as much as I hate the korra show, notice that zuko ends up being a great parent, and toph, etc. kinda have major issues; zuko was abused; he knew what to look out for. that is a parody, but the real message it is based on fully applies.
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I know online I am 'more cray-cray than azula (avatar last airbender), c'hrell (tmnt 2003), and sarge (red vs. blue) if they had a heart', but in person, I am very level-headed in general.
