I relapsed after 135 days.. on nofap

Well I relapsed after 135 days and feel like a complete failure. I feel shame, depressed, can not connect with my gf, feel like isolating and I can feel the urge in my sick head to go back and look at more h anime
yesterday I was in the house alone all day so I binges on h sites on social media, ( I have a block on at home but can get around it by going to social media).
I have been playing around with sub-porn for the last few days and then after an argument with my gf I said screw it it.
I really do not want to go back in to that dark world but I am worried that the dopamine and nuro-pathways I over loaded on yesterday will drag me back. In the past when I have relapsed it usually takes me a lot of pain or a complete break down with my wife before I make a effect to stop using porn. This sometime takes months.

Anyway I commit to stay clean just for today. Just for the next 12 hours.

Comments

You said you were in an argument, right? Wouldn't you rather settle the argument and have make up sex than cry about it while jerking off?
 
why is bating it bad? I guess the puritan is still very ingrained in our society.
 
Um.

Uh. :mellow:

...This sounds like a really bad writeup for a sitcom episode premise. As someone who's (un?)fortunate enough to have not seen any porn in their life, I uh, I just don't get the appeal. Nor do I wanna. But hey man, do what makes you happy...?
 
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GbaTemp the only site i know where openly discussing transsexuality and using your blog posts as fanfiction.net (You all know who i mean) but blogging about your dissapointment in yourself for your masturbation habits is "Not appropriate"
also... Jackus
if you're so against porn
what do you get off to ;A;....


hentai probs
 
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Again having such a visceral negative reaction is not good. Not being aroused would be fine, and not having any desire can also be fine, but visceral negative reaction is not good.

Another relevant video

I should watch that show again actually.

"Cue me being really embarrassed about it."
Try sitting in someone you sort of know's front room at 8pm on a Sunday evening and trying to figure out which of the people present has a piss fetish so you might point them towards one of the tube sites instead of the virus addled site they had found and caused you to be there.

Alternatively I once fixed a laptop for my sister's now ex boyfriend. What was found was some of the most boring vanilla boring tame boring stuff which had ever had the misfortune to grace my eyeballs. They say you never look at someone the same after seeing their porn collection, I am not sure they had that in mind though.
 
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@FAST6191

Ha. I had the misfortune of working on an ex college friend's laptop, and her laptop was completely locked down with porn/viruses. Most of the stuff was fairly boring lesbian stuff.

My own porn collection would probably raise a few eyebrows. Mostly chubby women and a few hentai movies.
 
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