Well I relapsed after 135 days and feel like a complete failure. I feel shame, depressed, can not connect with my gf, feel like isolating and I can feel the urge in my sick head to go back and look at more h anime
yesterday I was in the house alone all day so I binges on h sites on social media, ( I have a block on at home but can get around it by going to social media).
I have been playing around with sub-porn for the last few days and then after an argument with my gf I said screw it it.
I really do not want to go back in to that dark world but I am worried that the dopamine and nuro-pathways I over loaded on yesterday will drag me back. In the past when I have relapsed it usually takes me a lot of pain or a complete break down with my wife before I make a effect to stop using porn. This sometime takes months.
Anyway I commit to stay clean just for today. Just for the next 12 hours.
yesterday I was in the house alone all day so I binges on h sites on social media, ( I have a block on at home but can get around it by going to social media).
I have been playing around with sub-porn for the last few days and then after an argument with my gf I said screw it it.
I really do not want to go back in to that dark world but I am worried that the dopamine and nuro-pathways I over loaded on yesterday will drag me back. In the past when I have relapsed it usually takes me a lot of pain or a complete break down with my wife before I make a effect to stop using porn. This sometime takes months.
Anyway I commit to stay clean just for today. Just for the next 12 hours.
