My hearings never being cracking, though selective. I don't know exactly what the problem is but I do know it was a birth defect, and caused probably by a combination of being prem and having bad genes. I do know hearing aids won't help. I've always had, erm... difficulties I guess is the right word, with sounds mainly around the human vocal range. But with a lot of training and a bit of concentration I learned to get by and speak and listen to people in such a way I sort of forgot, and others never really realised, I had a problem at all. I only had to bring it up when new people/friends tried to get my attention when I couldn't see them.
I know I should have expected this but things are getting worse, and I've had the tests to prove it now so can't ignore it any longer. And I should have noticed it happening over the last year or two. I stopped asking people to repeat themselves because it became utterly pointless. Stopped going places that play music, to the cinema, theatre, gigs, stopped getting together and doing some harmless gossiping with the neighbours (yes seriously harmless, I live that sort of place), meeting anywhere outside of someone's home, getting together with anyone in a group larger 5, larger than 3, larger than 2 other people... just because it's getting so pointless to even bother trying.
And I can't bring myself to tell anyone, I've stopped talking to most my friends and family, definitely driven away for good most of the ones who've being continuously trying to work out what's wrong with me and keep me going. And there's someone I'm totally taking advantage off basically because I'm expecting to have to resign the rest of my life to nothing but the intertubes, games and books for company. I'm turning into someone I can't stand and I'm fucking terrified beyond belief.
And the ultimate proof of my complete cowardice. I have to pour this all out over a fucking forum, behind a mask of anonymity while being perfectly aware it's not really that bad a fucking problem to begin with when you get down to it.
I know I should have expected this but things are getting worse, and I've had the tests to prove it now so can't ignore it any longer. And I should have noticed it happening over the last year or two. I stopped asking people to repeat themselves because it became utterly pointless. Stopped going places that play music, to the cinema, theatre, gigs, stopped getting together and doing some harmless gossiping with the neighbours (yes seriously harmless, I live that sort of place), meeting anywhere outside of someone's home, getting together with anyone in a group larger 5, larger than 3, larger than 2 other people... just because it's getting so pointless to even bother trying.
And I can't bring myself to tell anyone, I've stopped talking to most my friends and family, definitely driven away for good most of the ones who've being continuously trying to work out what's wrong with me and keep me going. And there's someone I'm totally taking advantage off basically because I'm expecting to have to resign the rest of my life to nothing but the intertubes, games and books for company. I'm turning into someone I can't stand and I'm fucking terrified beyond belief.
And the ultimate proof of my complete cowardice. I have to pour this all out over a fucking forum, behind a mask of anonymity while being perfectly aware it's not really that bad a fucking problem to begin with when you get down to it.