So the whole world is up in arms about plastic straws. Something about turtles and the environment and whatever. Doesn't make sense to me. However, the other day I had the privilege of using a paper straw. That thing was the grossest thing I've ever had. It was so dry I felt like I needed a drink of water after using it. I imagine if you leave one sitting in a drink long enough, it will dissolve into a papery-clumpy mess of disgusting liquid. In conclusion, give me a dang plastic straw.