Yeah I feel kinda strange, another year is going to end, I already changed a lot, I mean, I was not like before, I don't even want to remember how I was.
Meh anyway.
I just wanna say 2018 was the worst year of my life. I had a lot of problems, this includes familiar problems too. Familiar problems was the biggest one because my dad was imprisoned (He didn't something bad, he just didn't pay some money that he needed to pay to my mom, yeah they live divorced) the good thing is he is no longer imprisoned right now, he was imprisoned like 6 months, before I knew this, my mom said to me he was imprisoned (I was going to visit him the next day, until I knew that.) and she started to talk with me about this. My mom said to me "I am sorry Alex, it's not your fault or it's my fault, hopefully you understand this..."
I felt so sad and angry at the same time, and I didn't wanted to talk with anyone. Even on internet. I gotta admit I was depressed (Not joking this time, I am serious) Most of the time I was closed in my room, always hugging my Snivy plush (yeah, it's my personal treasure) because I had no one to hug, cry, and someone to listen to me. (I have a method that I created, write everything I feel, read it, and keep it, for me works sometimes and that's makes me a bit better) Also I was on my bed crying and beginning sad and started to think everything was my fault. My mom tried everything to cheer me up, I felt a bit better, my friends tried to cheer me up too. They heard me and we ate pizza, and I felt a bit better too. In two or three weeks, I felt better, and I was like normal, well kinda. I was a bit sad. (Trying to hide sadness?) but I couldn't still believe my dad was imprisoned. I gotta admit that left me traumatized, even if my dad is not imprisoned right now. Just thinking in that makes me feel empty, sad and strange, like if everything was my fault.
Since there was no one in my dad house, most of the time I visited my dogs and I came with some food so I could feed them, visiting and watching my dogs made me a bit happy too, my aunt did a favor to me, she cared about my dogs when I couldn't go to feed them, so I could not worry! That was a nice thing.
My mom said everytime I wanted to go to my dad house "You musn't go right now! you better skip anyone with your dad's family! It's for your own security! They'll do something to you!"
The judge that had my dad's family was crazy! The judge said to my mom "We'll kiddnap your kiddo and we'll convence him he lives with his dad, furthermore, you'll be in the JAIL and HE'LL be telling a lot of lies to imprisone you! Even his dad will be mocking ON YOU when you're in the JAIL!"
I live with my mom and most of the time I usually go with her to any place that she needs to go, even if I am busy, sick, or whatever. I really worry about my mom, specially when this happend.
My dad's family said A LOT of lies when they were on the judgement, like "He lives with ours! We miss you a LOT Alex! We'll give you anything you need! We always give you attetion!"
So, if they REALLY missed me, why they NEVER called me, visited me, or whatever? rarely I receive a call from someone, thought. (I just use my phone to listen music, call, sometimes use the camera, chat, and for surfing the web, that's what I do with my phone)
It's OK, sometimes I can't go to visit my dad because I am really busy doing homework or something! But he thinks my mom won't allow me to visit him, I already told to my dad why sometimes I can't go to visit him, but he still thinks it's because my mom... What a shame.
They NEVER give something I need. My dad does all and if he can do it of course. Last year ago he bought for me the New 3DS and the Wii U for my birthday. (Two years or three years ago I received the Wii U, one year ago or maybe two years ago I received the New 3DS)
Most of the things I own it's because I bought them by myself (Just like owning 3 2DS wtf)
I know, I know my mom care a lot about me! But I care about my dogs too! I was so worried about my dogs when there was no one to take care about them. (My aunt did the favor to take care of them when I couldn't go for some reason) Most of the time I visited them and I gave them food, I usually went out with my dogs for a walk to the park or somewhere. I gotta admit that made me felt even better too. I don't like telling lies to my family, but I had no choice, so I went out secretly to my dad's house without beginning looking suspicious to anyone and taking care about if there was no one's around from my dad's family... right? Luckly, nobody saw me.
School... nothing interesing, just homework, not so much like the last year. I am kinda sociable now, sometimes hard to get in, but still trying I guess.
Also, I already talked with Perci, my best school friend that I lost just because a silly problem (she wanted to start a relation with me but I said nah because I am NOT interesed in a relation, and probably never, why? uhhh idk maybe I have videogames and books to read?)
Birthday... was OK, not going to say this was the worst but was meh. My friend perci gave me a tails plush, (she's a sonic fan!) and she obviously knew my favorite sonic character is tails, I am not sure how she got the plush, but that was the best birthday present I could got. she even did a special draw of tails for me. Other friend gave me a GBA game (YuGiOh! Reshef of destruction) It's just a clone of The Sacred Cards, but it's OK! I'll add it into my collection. Couldn't receive dad present because he was imprisoned. Just looking at him he's OK it's my birthday gift from my dad. I gotta admit I cried when I saw my dad again, knowing he wasn't angry with me and after a lot of months without knowing something about him. (I decided to visit him the next day he was out)
My mom and I went to eat into a italian restaurant, it was really good. My sisten didn't even gave me a shit lmao (she just said to me "I'll give you money when I have, so guess what? It will never happend haha. My brother gave me some money so I can buy anything I need, Yipee!) But I was worrying still about my dad, he was still imprisoned. I wasn't so happy this birthday tbh.
He's already out ofc, It was like two weeks since he was released from beginning imprisoned, my mom said to me when he was already out. Of course I immediately sent a message to my dad when I knew he was out, he immediately texted me back, so I could talk with my dad for a bit. I felt so happy knowing he was good than I started to cry a bit. He wasn't angry with me or something. He's already talking with his family, probably my dad's family hates me because the problem that happend, they almost have christmas and new year without my dad, typically my dad never miss any event that they have. But yeah, I think after this, and after my dad ends talking with his family, probably they'll forget everything about what this.
I met a lot of people on the internet, some guy gifted me two games for Steam, he still wants to give me more, but I don't want to give me anymore! I am totally fine with those two games that he gave me! Anyway, internet people is cool, and I do a lot of chatting sometimes
I met some people irl that are like weebs, and hardcores, they rock! I usually talk to them, even on internet, I am still trying to be a bit more sociable irl.
guess where I met them. Yeah, FrikiPlaza for those who live in México lmao
So, I know I don't have much feelings, but a friend sometimes keeps saying to me "You're the kind of person I need! Maybe we share the same type of personality?"
Um, no. I don't think so. I mean, It's cute those message that he sends to me. I feel a bit cute, it remainds to me to someone. But no, he's too kind and I am just a silly toxic one, I don't want to end that friendship I have with that friend thanks to me (probably I am not even toxic anymore, probably I guess, not sure.)
He's a really huge spiderman fan btw, I don't know anything about spiderman and marvel universe tbh...
Christmas was... meh. I received some good gifts, like some gameboy cartridges, and T-Shirts with cool designs. The food was meh, tipical christmas food. Tasted good, no so good but was OK. I was in Cuernavaca, I wasn't in my house.
Most problems I had was personals purpose, but was meh, some problems made me really mad. Still can't resolve one problem, thought. Maybe time will decide it if that can be fixed or nah. Probably not.
So, yeah, maybe it's all. I just wanted to write because I was feeling kinda sad leaving 2018, probably not going to remember this year, but hey, I want to leave this so I can know 2018 existed.
So basically, was kinda boring this year, stressful, and sad. I could fix some problems, some others nah. Now I'm feeling good, everything is alright, so, gonna keep my way now I guess
Huh, hopefully 2019 brings me something good new please
oh sorry if you see bad english around here, I'm trying to fixing it >_>
I wrote this while I was listening OneShot OST - Self Contained Universe Piano because I don't know, probably feeling kinda sad xp
It's 3:44AM and I can't sleep because I was writing this, but writing this makes me feel better tbh.
Edit: Something happend today too. Editing this at 10:48PM
My brother was on the subway, he was with his gf inside the woman and kids subway only allowed, I don't know why, probably he didn't noticed it. (Most people even doesn't respect that, they just enter to the subway and no one's care)
So, he called to my mom like at 9AM, he said we was on the MP (like a mini jail I guess) and we immediately go out to the MP (Ministerio Fiscal, Fiscalía General o Procuraduría General, let's resume it, it's just for reporting someone and things like that.) He was inside on that, like a mini-jail (Just like my dad lmao) and his gf was outside, waiting for him, and trying to know what happend, explaining to the polices what happend. So, we waited up until noon, and he was already out, of course we needed to pay for getting out my brother. (Polices in my country are really corrupts, law in México is sh*t too. They can see murders, thiefs, and everything, they doesn't do anything. They just see something like my brother just did, or going to something that says "Do not enter" and it's for giving your money to them. Yeah, that's bullsh*t.) Anyway, my brother is fine now with his gf, he was going to Cuernavaca, he missed the bus and missed work too because this problem. Probably he had some problems, but I think he already fixed them. Well whatever, he's okay now. I was worried.
I am celebrating new year... like lazy, I am on my home with my mom, and I am playing some videogames and reading a book, meanwhile my mom is reading something or she's on facebook I guess.
Listening OneShot - Distant Water while I was writing this. I DON'T KNOW WHY.
10:58PM It's nearly to end this year. Happy new year to everyone, specially to someone, you know who is it if you're reading this of course!
Meh anyway.
I just wanna say 2018 was the worst year of my life. I had a lot of problems, this includes familiar problems too. Familiar problems was the biggest one because my dad was imprisoned (He didn't something bad, he just didn't pay some money that he needed to pay to my mom, yeah they live divorced) the good thing is he is no longer imprisoned right now, he was imprisoned like 6 months, before I knew this, my mom said to me he was imprisoned (I was going to visit him the next day, until I knew that.) and she started to talk with me about this. My mom said to me "I am sorry Alex, it's not your fault or it's my fault, hopefully you understand this..."
I felt so sad and angry at the same time, and I didn't wanted to talk with anyone. Even on internet. I gotta admit I was depressed (Not joking this time, I am serious) Most of the time I was closed in my room, always hugging my Snivy plush (yeah, it's my personal treasure) because I had no one to hug, cry, and someone to listen to me. (I have a method that I created, write everything I feel, read it, and keep it, for me works sometimes and that's makes me a bit better) Also I was on my bed crying and beginning sad and started to think everything was my fault. My mom tried everything to cheer me up, I felt a bit better, my friends tried to cheer me up too. They heard me and we ate pizza, and I felt a bit better too. In two or three weeks, I felt better, and I was like normal, well kinda. I was a bit sad. (Trying to hide sadness?) but I couldn't still believe my dad was imprisoned. I gotta admit that left me traumatized, even if my dad is not imprisoned right now. Just thinking in that makes me feel empty, sad and strange, like if everything was my fault.
Since there was no one in my dad house, most of the time I visited my dogs and I came with some food so I could feed them, visiting and watching my dogs made me a bit happy too, my aunt did a favor to me, she cared about my dogs when I couldn't go to feed them, so I could not worry! That was a nice thing.
My mom said everytime I wanted to go to my dad house "You musn't go right now! you better skip anyone with your dad's family! It's for your own security! They'll do something to you!"
The judge that had my dad's family was crazy! The judge said to my mom "We'll kiddnap your kiddo and we'll convence him he lives with his dad, furthermore, you'll be in the JAIL and HE'LL be telling a lot of lies to imprisone you! Even his dad will be mocking ON YOU when you're in the JAIL!"
I live with my mom and most of the time I usually go with her to any place that she needs to go, even if I am busy, sick, or whatever. I really worry about my mom, specially when this happend.
My dad's family said A LOT of lies when they were on the judgement, like "He lives with ours! We miss you a LOT Alex! We'll give you anything you need! We always give you attetion!"
So, if they REALLY missed me, why they NEVER called me, visited me, or whatever? rarely I receive a call from someone, thought. (I just use my phone to listen music, call, sometimes use the camera, chat, and for surfing the web, that's what I do with my phone)
It's OK, sometimes I can't go to visit my dad because I am really busy doing homework or something! But he thinks my mom won't allow me to visit him, I already told to my dad why sometimes I can't go to visit him, but he still thinks it's because my mom... What a shame.
They NEVER give something I need. My dad does all and if he can do it of course. Last year ago he bought for me the New 3DS and the Wii U for my birthday. (Two years or three years ago I received the Wii U, one year ago or maybe two years ago I received the New 3DS)
Most of the things I own it's because I bought them by myself (Just like owning 3 2DS wtf)
I know, I know my mom care a lot about me! But I care about my dogs too! I was so worried about my dogs when there was no one to take care about them. (My aunt did the favor to take care of them when I couldn't go for some reason) Most of the time I visited them and I gave them food, I usually went out with my dogs for a walk to the park or somewhere. I gotta admit that made me felt even better too. I don't like telling lies to my family, but I had no choice, so I went out secretly to my dad's house without beginning looking suspicious to anyone and taking care about if there was no one's around from my dad's family... right? Luckly, nobody saw me.
School... nothing interesing, just homework, not so much like the last year. I am kinda sociable now, sometimes hard to get in, but still trying I guess.
Also, I already talked with Perci, my best school friend that I lost just because a silly problem (she wanted to start a relation with me but I said nah because I am NOT interesed in a relation, and probably never, why? uhhh idk maybe I have videogames and books to read?)
Birthday... was OK, not going to say this was the worst but was meh. My friend perci gave me a tails plush, (she's a sonic fan!) and she obviously knew my favorite sonic character is tails, I am not sure how she got the plush, but that was the best birthday present I could got. she even did a special draw of tails for me. Other friend gave me a GBA game (YuGiOh! Reshef of destruction) It's just a clone of The Sacred Cards, but it's OK! I'll add it into my collection. Couldn't receive dad present because he was imprisoned. Just looking at him he's OK it's my birthday gift from my dad. I gotta admit I cried when I saw my dad again, knowing he wasn't angry with me and after a lot of months without knowing something about him. (I decided to visit him the next day he was out)
My mom and I went to eat into a italian restaurant, it was really good. My sisten didn't even gave me a shit lmao (she just said to me "I'll give you money when I have, so guess what? It will never happend haha. My brother gave me some money so I can buy anything I need, Yipee!) But I was worrying still about my dad, he was still imprisoned. I wasn't so happy this birthday tbh.
He's already out ofc, It was like two weeks since he was released from beginning imprisoned, my mom said to me when he was already out. Of course I immediately sent a message to my dad when I knew he was out, he immediately texted me back, so I could talk with my dad for a bit. I felt so happy knowing he was good than I started to cry a bit. He wasn't angry with me or something. He's already talking with his family, probably my dad's family hates me because the problem that happend, they almost have christmas and new year without my dad, typically my dad never miss any event that they have. But yeah, I think after this, and after my dad ends talking with his family, probably they'll forget everything about what this.
I met a lot of people on the internet, some guy gifted me two games for Steam, he still wants to give me more, but I don't want to give me anymore! I am totally fine with those two games that he gave me! Anyway, internet people is cool, and I do a lot of chatting sometimes
I met some people irl that are like weebs, and hardcores, they rock! I usually talk to them, even on internet, I am still trying to be a bit more sociable irl.
So, I know I don't have much feelings, but a friend sometimes keeps saying to me "You're the kind of person I need! Maybe we share the same type of personality?"
Um, no. I don't think so. I mean, It's cute those message that he sends to me. I feel a bit cute, it remainds to me to someone. But no, he's too kind and I am just a silly toxic one, I don't want to end that friendship I have with that friend thanks to me (probably I am not even toxic anymore, probably I guess, not sure.)
He's a really huge spiderman fan btw, I don't know anything about spiderman and marvel universe tbh...
Christmas was... meh. I received some good gifts, like some gameboy cartridges, and T-Shirts with cool designs. The food was meh, tipical christmas food. Tasted good, no so good but was OK. I was in Cuernavaca, I wasn't in my house.
Most problems I had was personals purpose, but was meh, some problems made me really mad. Still can't resolve one problem, thought. Maybe time will decide it if that can be fixed or nah. Probably not.
So, yeah, maybe it's all. I just wanted to write because I was feeling kinda sad leaving 2018, probably not going to remember this year, but hey, I want to leave this so I can know 2018 existed.
So basically, was kinda boring this year, stressful, and sad. I could fix some problems, some others nah. Now I'm feeling good, everything is alright, so, gonna keep my way now I guess
Huh, hopefully 2019 brings me something good new please
oh sorry if you see bad english around here, I'm trying to fixing it >_>
I wrote this while I was listening OneShot OST - Self Contained Universe Piano because I don't know, probably feeling kinda sad xp
It's 3:44AM and I can't sleep because I was writing this, but writing this makes me feel better tbh.
Edit: Something happend today too. Editing this at 10:48PM
My brother was on the subway, he was with his gf inside the woman and kids subway only allowed, I don't know why, probably he didn't noticed it. (Most people even doesn't respect that, they just enter to the subway and no one's care)
So, he called to my mom like at 9AM, he said we was on the MP (like a mini jail I guess) and we immediately go out to the MP (Ministerio Fiscal, Fiscalía General o Procuraduría General, let's resume it, it's just for reporting someone and things like that.) He was inside on that, like a mini-jail (Just like my dad lmao) and his gf was outside, waiting for him, and trying to know what happend, explaining to the polices what happend. So, we waited up until noon, and he was already out, of course we needed to pay for getting out my brother. (Polices in my country are really corrupts, law in México is sh*t too. They can see murders, thiefs, and everything, they doesn't do anything. They just see something like my brother just did, or going to something that says "Do not enter" and it's for giving your money to them. Yeah, that's bullsh*t.) Anyway, my brother is fine now with his gf, he was going to Cuernavaca, he missed the bus and missed work too because this problem. Probably he had some problems, but I think he already fixed them. Well whatever, he's okay now. I was worried.
I am celebrating new year... like lazy, I am on my home with my mom, and I am playing some videogames and reading a book, meanwhile my mom is reading something or she's on facebook I guess.
Listening OneShot - Distant Water while I was writing this. I DON'T KNOW WHY.
10:58PM It's nearly to end this year. Happy new year to everyone, specially to someone, you know who is it if you're reading this of course!
