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Blaze163

The White Phoenix's purifying flame.
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Work's been a pain in the arse lately. A few weeks ago a new guy named Tony joined the team. He's been working at various other JJB stores for a couple of years so he does have experience. What he lacks is any sense of how to interact with any aspect of humanity. He quite literally breathes JJB. There's nothing else in his life, just his job. I can understand taking your work seriously but when you're being an abrasive arrogant cunt to your fellow staff members because they don't dedicate their entire existance to a part time job, you've got problems. Example:

- We're tasked with selling stuff like polish and gel inner soles as much as possible, it's referred to as our 'key performance indicator' or KPI for short. We're meant to keep the KPI's above 3% but while I was away in Luton they dropped below 1%. Evidently nothing to do with me, I can hardly sell shoe polish when I'm over a hundred miles away from the store.

- I'm now back and tasked with getting the KPI's back up to 3%. One problem with that. It's a howling blizzard here at the moment. Has been all day. So the store's been damn near dead all day. How am I supposed to sell things when we have no customers? Summon them from the aether with some ancient magical ritual and sell them a huge stock of gel inner soles?

- I'm told by Tony that I'm just making excuses. Even though he can see as well as anyone that there's nobody around. Like we're all supposed to bend reality to his twisted vision so we can sell shoe polish. Yeah, 'cause that's how life works, right? The KPI stat is of course the absolute centre of the universe, right? Go get laid, dick head.

So things finally came to a head today with him giving me a load of abuse for no good reason. So I told him exactly where he could go and exactly what he should insert into himself, preferably without the pin. God knows the prick's been asking for it for too long.

The strange thing is that I've not suffered any ill effects from yelling at him on the shop floor. The manager was talking to me about the incident before I left and asked me for my honest opinion of Tony. He regretted asking. He was expecting me to say something like 'we don't get on' or 'he has a few problems'. Instead what I said was 'I think he's a pompous over zealous bootlicking ass hat douchebag with all the social grace of a spunk flavoured lollipop'.

What? He asked for an honest opinion.

In other news,

- Finally heard from the clown who sold me a pair of gloves on eBay over a month ago that still haven't shown up. He said to allow until the end of the month (well, last month technically since it's now December) and contact him again if they're still not here. I've decided to give him a slight extension til this weekend, primarily because I'm too bone idle to email him right now. If they're not here by then, I'm to give him a shout and he'll either send me another pair or refund my money. At least he's being understanding. Dunno if I'm going for the refund or not.

- My bedroom window is stuck open from the frost, so my room is ice cold. Actually ice cold, I keep a bottle of water in my room 'cause I'm nearly always in here, and I came back from work to find it frozen solid. Thankfully the presence of my sweetheart means the cold shouldn't be an issue
smile.gif


- I now have 2 full days off work to relax away from that wazzock Tony. Gonna fire up my 360 and kick some ass on Black Ops. I'm still in for the gaming night on Friday, btw. Hopefully I can get my mic working, it seems to give me a lot of static.

- Still none the wiser as to how to dispose of my old Warhammer 40K army. I have a fair few Orks but I never get enough time to play any more. I don't wanna just bin them, but I can't sell them on eBay (no seller's account) and I tried putting them up on Swapz but the only offer I got was a Sonic The Werehog figurine, which frankly must be a joke. Suggestions?

- No Cyclo patch for Golden Sun yet....boo. Ah well, I had the good sense to plan ahead and grab myself a few other games to focus on while I wait. Got a shedload of games to finish off. Ace Combat X2 is priority one now I've got past the mission I was stuck on (only to get stuck again) and after that it's Viking, Star Ocean and Infinite Undiscovery. Plus of course gaming mainstays such as Black Ops and NFS Hot Pursuit online. I should be fine for a while. Don't go getting complacent on me though. If you can fix Golden Sun then please do, been waiting for another Golden Sun game for the best part of a decade.

Well, that's about it for now. The TLDR version would be 'work sucks but aside from that fine'. Toodles.

Blaze.

'No! It's step-hip-step-pivot. Are you TRYING to piss off the volcano?' - Peter Griffin.
 

rastsan

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A way around the KPI...
BUY the stuff yourself on your sales number then return it under the jerks number.
MY assistant manager way back showed me that. one of the quickest ways to get someone else fired also - make sure you have another associate in on this.
 

monkat

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Blaze163 said:
- I'm now back and tasked with getting the KPI's back up to 3%. One problem with that. It's a howling blizzard here at the moment. Has been all day. So the store's been damn near dead all day. How am I supposed to sell things when we have no customers? Summon them from the aether with some ancient magical ritual and sell them a huge stock of gel inner soles?

- I'm told by Tony that I'm just making excuses. Even though he can see as well as anyone that there's nobody around. Like we're all supposed to bend reality to his twisted vision so we can sell shoe polish. Yeah, 'cause that's how life works, right? The KPI stat is of course the absolute centre of the universe, right? Go get laid, dick head.

Welcome to my life
smile.gif


My RSD (Regional Sales Director) is always harping at my manager because our KPI stats are always low - the reason, if he would actually read the damn thing, is that we have between 5 and 15 customers on a regular day, and 10-20 on a gold card day (on which, we do fine).

How are we supposed to sell gold cards, p3 items, OMS items, collect emails and st. jude's donations if we don't have customers? If even one customer in a day doesn't buy a P3 item (on an average 5-10 customer day), we're behind our goal. Bullshit.


QUOTE(rastsan @ Dec 4 2010, 09:27 PM) A way around the KPI...
BUY the stuff yourself on your sales number then return it under the jerks number.
MY assistant manager way back showed me that. one of the quickest ways to get someone else fired also - make sure you have another associate in on this.

I don't know how it is where he works, but doing a return is an arduous process where I work. We need to collect their names, phone numbers, ID card numbers, shoe size, social security number, credit card number, and favorite soda (I may be exaggerating...) just to do a return. If it was him buying all of that stuff, it would be obvious.

Also, if you had such a high rate of sales that come back for returns, it would be you that gets fired because you're keeping the store back - you keep selling people the wrong product.
 
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