School made me LOL

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by dbkdbk, Aug 21, 2010.

  1. dbkdbk

    dbkdbk Advanced Member

    Oct 9, 2008
    United States
    After being kindly requested by a teacher of mine to choose to do an essay on one of the two topics mentioned in a certain document, and having to spend approximately half an hour of my one hour of time remaining, due to my horrendous skills at preventing myself from procrastinating, to decide on which topic I would be writing it on, in the end I decided that I should really just start it, and thought to myself that perhaps while I was writing this extremely long sentence, which is so far almost a hundred words long, I would have come to a decision, so far – nothing.
    After a spending another 5 minutes pointlessly chatting with a colleague of mine, I experienced something, an event that I think might be considered to be similar to an epiphany, through this experience I realized that I should do what I always do, when it comes to last minute English essays, and “go Rambo”.
    (Ok, now is where the essay really starts, I won’t count these 170+ words as being part of my essay.)
    School tends to be a place where most children are reluctantly sent to, so that they don’t end up living on the road, or get forced into spending the rest of their lives, as clerks at supermarket, or one of those burger flipping guys, or maybe even a teacher.
    The reason that a school doesn’t tend to be extremely liked by most of its inhabitants is because it is often viewed by its students as being very, dull, dreary, droning, depressing, disheartening, despairing, desolating, dejecting and a place full of a whole lot of despondency.
    To the average, and typical student, time seems to go by at a hundredth of its normal speed, as if the child develops superhuman senses, as the clock ticks six thousand times a minute. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
    As the lesson ends, a godsend ringing ruptures the quiet monotonous air, signalling the end of their master’s regime. As they regain their freedom, and the will to live, they flee their cell, like a hungry man caught stealing bread.
    However, the child’s exhilarating experience doesn’t last for a very extensive amount of time.
    As his short-lived freedom ends he returns to his place of foreboding, dragging his chain bound feet, slowly, one after the other, after the other...
    Wild fantasies of great escapes, implausible activities, DAHvine intervention, run through his mind, as he feels the laws of physics pull him towards his impending fate, no matter what he tries to do, no amount of impediment seems sufficient or satisfactory, and he continues feeling the full brunt of gravity, as he falls, continues to fall, and then when impact occurs, SPLAT!
    As the door creaks open, and is then closed as soon as possible, as if to keep the demoralizing, and despair of the air from escaping, making the child’s experience has miserable as ever, as the sadistic masters squeal with satisfaction, and smirk with their sadistically sinful smiles, the child loses all meaning in his life.
    Yet as with every other thing that has ever subsisted throughout time, schools have the penchant of having a “dark side”, that is an affinity for doing things that they’re not so much as credited for.
    Let’s have a look at the atmosphere inside of the same institution, which was described in as accurate and precise a way possible through the eyes of a victim, now from the perspective of a one of those “sinful sadists”, a few hours after the, blissfully received, release of its prey.
    Like entering a mirror world, the very same institution now bears resemblance to what a religious person might very well describe as being close in comparison to a Heaven. Melodious music, peaceful tranquility, serene calmness, joyous-rapture, ecstatic amusement, is just part of what one would feel as he would walk through the halls of what was once an establishment meant for detaining children, to strip them of their freedom, and expressing their free will.
    As the sadists walk around jubilantly, enjoying certain contrabands, violating strict laws, such as by chewing chewing-gum, crashing chattels, consuming cigarettes cocktails constituting couth-less constituents.
    As they mingle with their colleagues like best friends, congregate like religious followers at the synagogue, soliciting for satisfaction socially, splendidly spending their “s-infinite” time, sleep not being a factor for these sinister “sadistical sick-os”.
    And as the night ends, and day breaks, the cycle starts all over again, and continues, as parents stay blissfully oblivious to the truth of the kind of people that their children are being entrusted too, and the kind of atmosphere that their children could be exposed too. Like peas in a pod, unaware of the torture that they will have to go through when being digested, parents send off their children to these horrendous places.
    This essay was written by God.
    I mean Me. (stupid digital typewriter.)

    (Please, don’t take this personal, I didn’t mean anything, just that when I have limited time, my work tends to turn out like this... well not really, my work always seems to be like this, I guess that’s because I’m always procrastinating.)
    Oh and yeah, “Yes, I will not be writing these ‘notes’ at the end of my essay, in the real thing”, you don’t need to be telling me that, again, I think.}
  2. superrob

    superrob H4X H4X H4X!

    Apr 4, 2007
    GBATemp factory.
    Dude maybe you should post this in your blog instead. I read the first lines but its such a large wall of text.