Post text jokes here

[AncientBoi]

Where is the funny???

................ There. Duh

 

[hippy dave]

Where is the funny???

In your bagina

 

[MPRTwice]

Lighten up dude. sheesh.

Why lighten the bags even more? They broke at two hunded pounds last time. No need to show off by destroying mere one hundred pound bags.

 

[MPRTwice]

As usual I only have a vague inkling as to what you're talking about, but if you want me to apply to a job in another country that doesn't allow remote work, that's gonna be a no.

"vague inkling" does sound correct when it comes to your current understanding of engineering. No worries; I understand.

 

[MPRTwice]

Where is the funny???

The lighter bags; why send them to orbit, mach seven?

 

[hippy dave]

I understand.

That makes one of us, let me know if you wanna try again explaining yourself in words that other people outside your own head can comprehend

 

[MPRTwice]

That makes one of us, let me know if you wanna try again explaining yourself in words that other people outside your own head can comprehend

you mean like my students? They have no problems understanding what I say enough to impress professional engineers (Hence the followup to HM General Contractors as an Architectural Drafter; that was a freshman). Kids these days, much more capable and professional than they were prior to learning from me forty-two at a time.

 

[wamble]

What's the difference between :

A burnt pizza
A pregnant woman
A frozen beer

??????

Spoiler: Answer

A man forgot to take it out in time

Getting somewhat back on topic of the original post. I feel it should have been re-worded like this:

What do these 3 things have in common?

* a burnt pizza
* a pregnant woman
* a frozen beer

The answer tells us what they have in common. It doesn't tell us what is different.

 

[MPRTwice]

This happened an hour ago when I finally got to the gym:

Me: is it normal to train upstairs in this gym without wearing any clothes?
Staff: *Laughter* Uh, no, you can't do that sir.
Me: Because someone is doing that right now; I came down here to report it.
Staff: !!!

(Yes; someone used blinds in the punching bag room to hide this and had no clothing on. This city is nuts.)

 

[hippy dave]

 

[hippy dave]

 

[MPRTwice]

See attached text jokes.

 

[x65943]

See attached text jokes.

View attachment 560915

Bro why are you leaking all your text messages?

 

[MPRTwice]

Bro why are you leaking all your text messages?

sir this is a wendy's...um...I mean, this is a text jokes message forum.

 

[impeeza]

A drunk walks into a bar and says drinks on me for every one all night.
When the nights over the bar man asks For the money and the drunks say he got none so the bar man takes him out side and beats the shit out of him.
The next night the drunk Walks in again and says drinks on me but not for the bar man he gets angry when hes drunk.

 

[Veho]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?




A carrot.

 

[AncientBoi]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?




A carrot.

omg, you need to see a doctor, if you're hearing sounds from A carrot.

 

[hippy dave]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?




A carrot.

On the theme #sundaypunday

 

[MPRTwice]

so _that_'s why it's so brutal around here, there are so many ruffians and pigs:

 

[CoolMe]

so _that_'s why it's so brutal around here, there are so many ruffians and pigs:

View attachment 562411

got any proofs?